I don't get it. I'm straightforward, honest, nice, polite, and down-to-earth. I tell girls that I'm interested in them and something bad always happens. Either they end up running for the hills or they end up treating me like dog crap. I don't know how to be a jerk but it always seems like 'the jerk' gets far more action and doesn't even have to call the next day. Girls say they want a nice guy but when I approach them in a straightforward, harmless manner they either are not interested or they end up being b-e-o-t-c-h-e-s to me. It seems like being nice doesn't really pay off. I scratch my head trying to figure out what it is I'm doing wrong.
2007-08-02 14:24:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Their running for the hills or treating you like dog crap is them telling you they're not interested in you. I've got some good news and bad news for you: This isn't your fault. This is good because it relieves you of the responsability for their behaviors. It's bad because it means you really have no power over this.
Attraction is a complicated thing. Many factors are involved such as how you dress, what type of person you are, if you're tall or short, if you remind the girl of someone they liked in the past, timing etc. There are some things you can do to improve your approach and things but some people just aren't going to like you no matter what you do. You are in company with the entire human population in this respect.
I think one of two things is happening, either you are choosing unavailable women or you are sabatoging the situation, or both. Don't buy the story that no one likes you. It's B.S. and don't believe it. This is also good news and bad news. It's good because it means you are a lovable, attractive person. It's bad news becaue it means that this problem is yours and you need to solve it.
There's nothing wrong with trying and failing. Rejection sucks. The more experience you have going after women the more early signs you can see that indicate you're going to get slammed. Rejection is something you're going to have to go through but you also want to minimize it. Don't swing at bad pitches. No one likes to be rejected so you need to be careful and only go after stuff that looks promising.
Going after the same situation over and over again though, means something's going on. You're not learning from your mistakes. Why is this? Are you drawn to unavailable women? Why do you avoid available ones? You are not screwed with only unattractive women liking you. Don't believe that one either. If the women who are attracted to you ALWAYS look unattractive to you, then this is a good indicator you have some self-esteem issues, only women who aren't really worth having are attracted to you. Which obviously isn't true but you feel it is. Therapy is very good tool for working on issues like this.
2007-08-05 12:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey the guy with the sn "ignorant guy", we girls are not all stupid and aren't all gold diggers! wut bout u guys huh? most are usually jerks, players and freeloaders! no offense to the nice guys, anyways dnt wrry about it, some grls are like that, maybe you just havent found the right girl yet, jus keep your eyes open and you'll find her! wutever u do dnt turn into a jerk! you SHOULD also check out this mini movie it's called "Just A Nice Guy" by wong fu productions, it's about one guy's journey to finding out why girls date jerks and seeing why nice guys finish last....and hes trying to figure out if he can change that or not wen it comes to himself, this is perfect for you! and theres also a part in there that shows wut happens when he tries to act like a jerk/player so i think you'll like it (: goodluck!
theres 3 parts to this:
1)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrnK-qPARYI
2)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMGeWGvDHTA
3)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5lJL2peXik
enjoy! (:
2007-08-02 21:37:16 · answer #2 · answered by jEsSnIcKeR`S ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when girls say that they want a nice guy that does this and that for her its a lie!they like going through emotional roller coasters and "the jerk" gives them that roller coaster
2007-08-02 21:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by who 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry about girls dude they arent everything in the world, geez. Get a hobby you like or something, dont worry about girls they are stupid and waste your money. Dont be gay though
2007-08-02 21:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by Ignorant Guy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to a lot of girls it depends what you look like, how old are you? what do you look like?
2007-08-02 21:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋