In two weeks, my Stepson and his Mother and Stepfather will be moving to the East Coast. My daughters (ages 4 and 3) are very close to him. They have always been told that during the week their brother is at school and he comes home on the weekend. That made more sense after one time of saying that he was going to his Mom's house. I just don't know what to say to them in two weeks when he leaves. He won't be back but during school breaks and the first won't be until Christmas. Any suggestions woud be appreciated.
Thanks!
2007-08-02 14:12:10 · 7 answers · asked by emilyalbritton 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I guess I should add that the one time we tried to explain to them that he was going home to his mom's house they didn't understand. The girls still don't really realize that I am not his mother...so I can't just tell them that he is moving with his mother.
2007-08-03 03:11:31 · update #1
I would explain to them that he is going to school somewhere else. I would be honest with them about the whole mother thing. I was much older when I found out my brother and sister were not my full brother and sister and I was shocked. I would also buy him a web cam if he will have a computer so they can still see him on a daily basis or what ever they are used to.
2007-08-10 14:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At such a young age, the girls will be constantly wondering where their brother is. Thankfully they're also young enough for it to not really damage them. Kids have such a short attention span anyways that they're going to care, so they're going to ask where he is, you will tell them the same answer you told them the last time they asked, and then they will go on about their business.
You can be honest. Tell them he is getting to move away and make some new friends. He gets to move to a new place with his mommy. He will get to come visit them for Christmas, etc. Make it seem exciting that he's moving away instead of trying to make them feel sad. It's like when a child falls. Instead of making a sad pouty face, start smiling and help them get up and not make a big deal out of it. Children mirror what we do. If they see you sad and upset about something, they will react pretty much the same way, and it is teaching them that that's how they should react each time 'it' happens. So stay upbeat about it and they should be fine.
:o)
2007-08-03 03:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by SH0RTEE99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit them down and explain to your daughters that their brother is their step-brother. They will ask a ton of questions and be open and honest and they will understand so much more than you give them credit for. Please don't tell them he is getting a new mommy. I saw someone else posted that. Your girls would live in fear that someone might come and take them and give them a new mommy. Just tell them that their daddy was married before and had "brother" with "mom1" but since you loved daddy so much you also loved his son as if he were your own. Just like you love your girls.
At age 4 and 3 they will understand more than you think. Make it known when they get to see their brother. Get out a calender and mark it and hang it up so they can take a look at it when they want and get excited as time gets closer. I know this isn't going to be the easiest talk, but trust me... its going to be okay.
2007-08-07 12:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by billies35 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say as honestly and as gently as possible with the assuredness that they can visit him anytime and that this is not because of anyones fault, they are not bad or have done something wrong but because their brother perhaps wants it this way . . . ? Allow for them early on to accept truth just as it is even if it hurts and causes some pain, but that is emotional pain usually not physical pain and even though it takes a litte longer to heal, eventually the wound does close.
sharing the light,
Erica, the Enlightenment Advisor, M.A. Transpersonal Psychology Studies Counseling/ Author, Artist, Photographer, Freelancer
http://www.authspot.com/writers/Enlightenedpsych2.964
2007-08-10 09:06:22 · answer #4 · answered by SojournSeeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they may not be old enough to udnerstand all of it but you should tell them the truth and let them know for real the truth in time they will learn and beok with it. you can't hide things from children it is wrong.
2007-08-06 15:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be as honest as you can be. i know they dont understand, but in time they will see him not around, and get use to it.
2007-08-10 10:05:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them straight up and the longer you wait harder it will be on you and them
2007-08-08 06:04:03 · answer #7 · answered by smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋