How would you respond to a family member who cremated a relative when you know that was against their wishes.?

Question

They did it to "save money".

Answer 1

I had this happen to my father who wanted to be cremated and his wife said she "just couldn't do it." (But she could, and did, put him in a nursing home when he most needed her because, as she said, "I've got a life tooooo!")
How did I handle it? I went to the funeral to celebrate the life of a most remarkable man! I saw him buried next to my mother. Then I returned to my home 500 miles away. That was five years ago. I'm letting her have her life and I have mine. I did not stoop to her level by making it an issue.

Answer 2

No matter how you feel about it, it was not your call and to bring it up will just cause hard feelings and put a rift in your relationship with the remaining relative. If the deceased was so against being cremated they could have put that in writing or better yet, they would have planned their own funeral so their wishes would have been carried out. They did not do this obviously, so the next of kin had to make a judgement call. If they did this for financial reasons that is none of your business and you should keep your opinions to yourself. Sorry i can't agree with you on this one.

Answer 3

Well what's done is done. I don't know what your relationship is to the deceased and the person who organized the funeral, but you might have to decide what type of relationship you want with them in the future.
They may have done what they thought was best to do at the time. Also during times of grief, people usually aren't thinking straight and emotions are heightened.
If you have a close relationship with each other, I'm sure your deceased relative would not want you both to fight about it now. You might have to be the bigger person and tell them that you did not agree with what they did, but that you can understand that it was a difficult time.

Answer 4

Given the costs of just a plain casket these days, I don't particularly blame them. And...keep in mind...the dead relative is no longer using that body. They've moved on and by now most likely have quite a different opinion about the flesh wrap they wore for so long. I think I'd accept the survivor's explanation and let well enough alone.

Answer 5

Let it go. If there was a money issue then that person must have been responsible for the obligation. Or failing that, was
the person to make the ultimate decision. My response to them would be to plan and pay for my own funeral lest someone dispose of my remains in a manner I deemed to be inapropriate.

Answer 6

Your question is contradictory. But there is nothing wrong with cremation. A lot of people are doing it because it is cleaner. In small countries where there is not enough land, cremation is the way. The person has died. Whatever you do, it would not bring that person back to life. Even if you bury that person, do you think you want that person coming back to life having parts of the body eaten by worms already ? Of course it is very sad to see them go. But our lives is only one way street.

Answer 7

what's done is done. in the long run it's not that big of a deal. now is not the time to be arising strife between family members. it's a difficult time already.

Answer 8

Let it go. If it ever comes up, tell them that you would have done what the deceased preferred.

Do you know how much funerals cost, though?

Answer 9

Forgive them. The dearly departed doesn 't need that body anymore.

Answer 10

Well, who's money is it? Are you the one paying? I would say that it is the legal right of the person that was in charge of it and none of anyone elses business!