Do Men Even Care/ Want Children At All???

Question

A lot of men seem to not plan on having children unlike women who think about it since childhood. When a man has a child I truly believe that they don't love their child, infact they seem disconnected. Are men that emotionless that even when they're married, have a loving wife, and children it still won't make them happy. I believe that no man has the right to see their children because they don't care about them. The only useful thing of a man is his sperm and thats it. Men also obviously don't know what love is, all they know about is having sex. Before all the men start bashing me I'm a virgin, have a brother, dad, and mom. They all treat me well and we're a loving family and yes I've had a boyfriend before and they were all good guys. Its just that all the men I see whether married, not married, fanicially well or unwell, they all seem to have something in common and that is the lack of love toward their children and family.

Answer 1

You are right, men do come off as quiet distant, obsessed with sex and unconnect with their children, but that is not because they don't love their children. It is because society has taught them NOT to show emotion. It all boils down to the "survival of the fittest" and archaic stereotypes that aren't going to go away until humanity as a whole gets a brain enima.

Think about it this way. A child falls and skins their knee. Up to a certain age, it is acceptable for both male and female children to ball their eyes out, scream and want to be held. Once that child reach a certain age, though, (I think the age is 3 or 4...could be earlier) the rules change. "Big boys don't cry" is constantly repeated to any male child that gets hurt while playing, while the female child is encouraged to cry and "Let it all out" because it is not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside.

Boys are encouraged to go out and get hurt, they are discouraged from talking about their feelings because it makes them appear "weak", and in this day and age with the rampant "homophobe bug" running around, any sign that a male cares for anyone or anything beyond a certain socially acceptable point is called "gay". Also, any adult male who shows an socially "unnatural" amount of affection towards his children finds himself instantly being thought of as a sexual deviant and possible pediphial.

The only "manly" thing to do, then, is to be obsessed with physical violence and sex. Because they are encouraged to think about sex, they do it ofter. Females are taught not to think about it because it is "dirty" and "unlady-like".

Now, I am not going to say there aren't men out there who are WAY too obsessed with the sex, that would be stupid (heck, I know a guy who thinks if his girl friend doesn't have sex with him at least once a week she's cheating on him), but there are just as many women who think and feel the same way, they are just better at hidding it.

The long-short of it is this: there is more than meets the eye when it comes to the human mind and human emotions. If you want to know, if you REALLY want to know, take a Psycology class when you get to college (or next semester if you are in college now) then sit back and watch people, talk to people, listen to people, learn from people. They are not as simple or clear cut as you would think.

~~ Abe

Answer 2

CALM DOWN. You're letting your perception of a few men get out of control, and you're unfairly applying it to ALL men.

Not all women obsess about children from a young age, and plenty of mature women don't even want kids, so it's a personal thing, not a gender thing. I know plenty of guys who look forward to having children, and enjoying their loving families.

Honestly, dear, your comments are unfair, and need to to take a step back and look at things rationally. I sense some deep-seated bitterness in your tone, from the way you lash at how "useless" men are and how they "don't know what love is." Please don't insult the men in your life, and men in general by spouting or believing in this nonsense.

Answer 3

There is so much of life you have yet to see.
My husband could hardly be parted from his little ones.
They would brings a sparkle to his eyes and a smile to his lips just to hear a little voice say "Daddy! Pick me up!"

Now, more than 20 years later, hardly a day passes without him speaking adoringly of his children.

As the boys your age develop and age and mature, their focus will be less on themselves, they will come to care deeply for family, and especially their offspring.

I have witnessed these Dads in action when I work in a church nursery. They are so proud of their kids.