Getting a dog's respect?

Question

You have to love some of the folks here.

I realize where some of this is coming from, so I'll at least stay away from that.

I've been training dogs for nearly 40 years. My dogs know what their boundaries are. My dogs have been in parades, been on TV and been on TV for doggie game shows (That's My Dog).

I just love it here when you hear folks talking about getting their dog's respect. It falls just below my other favorite one, "My dog is doing this just to make me angry." Or how about, "My dog just has selective hearing."

Okay. I'll give you folks an opportunity.

You want to tell me what getting a dog's respect means to you? You can also make it the reverse, how does a dog disrespect you?

Answer 1

I think that the key is leadership (not dominance).

Leadership is not based on fear of personal injury.

I think of it as what kind of boss I would respect. You do not respect a boss that's wishy-washy and lets you walk all over him. Neither do you respect a boss that's abusive, who yells, who "punishes" you for making mistakes. You certainly wouldn't respect a boss that hit you. You respect a boss that appreciates you and your work, who pays you fairly for it, who runs things in an organized manner so that your life goes smoothly. And who respects YOU.

I guess for me respect is when they look to me for leadership, and when they follow my rules.

Answer 2

I believe that the clue to having an obedient, happy dog, that is respectful, is learning what motivates your dog. Dogs are not all the same, and different dogs have different ideas of 'pack' leadership. For instance, the breed that I have raised for MANY years, is considered by ignorant 'experts' to be the dumbest breed. They are certainly more challenging than some. However, they are motivated differently than the average dog, and once the human learns that, they discover that they are exceptionally intelligent.. That is likely much of the reason they are my favorite breed to work with. Cesar's methods would get NO WHERE with this breed.
He would call them the dumbest, because he wouldn't have a clue as to how to effectively communicate with them.
Communication, and thereby respect is achieved when the human learns at least a minimum of dog-speak..
I also think that trust and respect are are interactive. You can't have one without the other. You must earn your dog's trust, by being fair and consistent.
I guess I get the most stressed by people who come on this site and state that their dog is stupid, or untrainable, or hopeless." He's ruining my new carpeting and he has to go" .A five year old who still pees in the house? Comon!
That dog has no respect and no effective training. The owner doesn't have a clue as to how to communicate with that dog. It is NOT the dog's fault!

Answer 3

To me getting a dog's respect means that not only does the dog obey commands, you and your dog are a team, you have a relationship. That's what I think is totally missing for all those folks jumping on the Cesar Millan bandwagon (and others like him).

The dogs will obey, out of fear, but obey nonetheless, but you've sacrificed any possible relationship with that dog. And what exactly is the point of having a dog for most people - companionship, I believe. I'm not talking here about dogs with severe temperament problems or about hard working dogs (e.g. police dogs), but the average person's pet/companion.

My dogs, almost exclusively sight hounds with the majority being afghans, obeyed not because they were afraid of the consequences if they didn't, because all were trained with positive reinforcement, but because there was a relationship of mutual trust and respect. I've never had a dog try to bite me, growl at me or out and out refuse a command. (Actually, not all my dogs were trained only positively because I've learned an awful lot over the years, my earliest dogs were not as fortunate, but we still muddled through.)

A dog's respect means they watch me, listen, and if I've done my job as a trainer, obey to the best of their ability. They know what they are and are not allowed to do and they stick to their limits (which are pretty lax because they're great dogs!!)

Answer 4

I know many people who equate fear based behaviors with respect. For me, it is closer to forming a trusting relationship.

I have EARNED my dogs' respect. They trust me. That's what it is all about for me. I respect my dog, and I know she's a dog not a person. She knows I'm a human and not a dog.

I don't worry about trying to be the pack leader at my house. The dogs know my boundaries. I set them. I know their limitations. II have learned to speak some "dog" and they have learned some English.

I have been to lots of positive reinforcement training. I don't want an obedient robot dog. I want a dog who is willing to work with me and think.

Since I started working with my dogs using positive reinforcement, I can see how these methods can be used in many other areas of life. I don't mean that I have to reward every single action, but what mama used to say is true.

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I think the whole world would be a better place if we could give one another a few more positive words and encouragement.

I know that I respect people who are interested, helpful, kind and encouraging far more than I do those who are critical taskmasters. It's true in the classroom, the workplace and the dog kennel!

Answer 5

Based on what I have learned with my wonder doggie, respect has a lot to do with trust. Every time I did not felt quite well (preoccupied; depressed; worried) that's when my dog would act as if he could not care less when I talk to him and, instead, tries to take the driver's seat (my seat). The rest of the time, he is eager to please, great learner, great co-pilot. So, in my situation, my dog stops respecting me when he does not trust or feels he cannot count on me. I guess. what do I know? He's my first doggie, my first beautiful adventure with this fun beast. I am learning as we both move along. The "alpha" rolls have never been an option in my case. I tried once. Hours later, I was the one down on the floor, exhausted. He's a big strong shepherd mix. I am a woman not too weak but not strong enough to play these "power games" with my dog. So, I have been using the clicker training which works great in our situation and will keep using it amidst some experts' critics.

Answer 6

I agree with some of the others - it's teamwork. I too ask my dog "what are you barking at?" and will open the door to see if anyone's there. I let her stick her head out too. I respect her by trying to get her to see that there is something in it for her by going with what I say - even if it's "I know you don't want a bath, but I'll brush you afterward."

I'm not perfect with the respect relationship - I've got a heap of library books to point me in the right direction. My dog listens to me most of the time, and sometimes I notice that I wouldn't come when I called either (the "you're in deep" voice, for one, doesn't make me OR Missy come running). It's a give-and-take. We're both figuring out our positions and what they mean in the pack/family. I'm trying my best to understand her behavior, and I'm sure she's trying to figure out mine (like why I leave the house and get "lost" for 9 hours before I come home).

I recall reading somewhere that dogs will respect the person who disciplines them, not necessarily the person who only pets them. My boyfriend and I are sort of seeing this: he never has clipped my dog's toenails, bathed her, or taken her temperature, but I've done most of those things (I let the vet stick stuff in her butt) and she still loves me to death. I think I've earned her respect in that she doesn't think I'm just being mean. I also walk her, pet her, snuggle her, and let her lick my face. I return her hugs. I get in the water with her and play. I bring her to the dog park. Somehow she's figured out that we're a team, a mini-family, and that we go together on things. It's hard to explain, but a lot of it overlaps with "why do you love your dog/how do you know that your dog loves you?" Love and respect are a lot of the same things here. It's a matter of trust, really.

When my dog has "selective hearing" I can see her think "mmm, I'd rather not." Obedience class has taught me that to help my dog succeed, I need to set her up for success. As hard as it may seem to make me more interesting than, say, a cat, it's possible and easier than I thought it would be.

Good, tough question!

Answer 7

Dogs don't think like humans, they don't rationalize like humans, they aren't humans. They respect the pack leader, the alphadog, the BOSS of the pack. Period. They may show some "disrespect" in the same way they do to each other, taking the best seating place, taking food from the alpha by force (stealing from your plate), going through doors first, leading you on the walk, taking your place in bed, peeing on you or your scented belonging, growling or even nipping or standing over you in a dominant position. That is how they think. Anything else people see and believe about humanizing dog behavior is wrong.

To have a dog respect you, you must be the boss of the dog. Feed it. Make it sit. Go through doors first. Make it come when you say come (use a leash if you have to), and all the other things an alpha dog would do. If it shows dominance to you all you have to do is roll it over and growl (if needed).

Dogs show affection for almost all pack members, but not all dogs respect their owners. You can see nasty little dominant demons everywhere being doted on by Mommies and Daddies. It's not cute or funny or even healthy for the dog. They are not children. It's not fair for people to treat them like children and then get mad when they act like a spoiled dog. They can't help it. They are dogs not humans.

And dogs love getting affection from pack members or others like petting and play and yes! kisses treats. But affection and respect are two different things.

The most wonderful thing about dogs, in my opinion, is their lack of arrogance. A dog in a ghetto knows no different way to love than a dog in a mansion. A dog in heat is just as attracted to a cur in an ally as she is to a champion. They have no arrogance. They have no prejudice. I wish humanity were like that.

Answer 8

Respect isn't about fear. Respect isn't about revenge, and respect isn't about abuse. Respect comes when there is consistency. If I am consistent with my dogs they have learned that they can't behave certain ways or there is a consequence for that behaviour. Depending on their behaviour it might be a leash correction with the much hated (by some) prong collar, it might be that they are told (not asked) to sit, stay, or lie down. I feel that when dogs know what is expected of them and they have been trained then they will react. The biggest mistake that I think that a lot of people make is assuming that the dog does indeed know what you want and either has the "short attention span" or is not respecting you. I never ask or expect my dogs to do something that I know they aren't capable of doing! When I first got mine, he didn't know that sit meant sit. I had to work and train and practice - for hours over days. Now, if I ask him to sit, I expect and know that he will. On the rare occasions that he doesn't, he is reminded in some way that he is expected to sit. Sometimes its something as simple as me pulling up on his back butt hair (the butt goes away from that action). Othertimes, if we are on a walk and there are distractions, there is a leash correction - a simple - hey pay attention here. My trainer told me that if you require a behaviour you have to be willing to follow it through. If your dog is barking at the door and you are asking him to to come but are too lazy to get off the couch to make him come and you have no intention of following through on hte command then you might as well not say come. Commands and training come with follow-through. If you teach the dog that they only have to obey some of the time and that is ok - then how do you know that the dog will listen and behave when you really want him/her to? Consistency and follow-through lead to what I would say is "respect" - meaning obedience. TO me, respect means obedience. Not all would agree. But you asked for an opinion.

I'm not there yet, my dogs aren't perfect, but I would say the blame falls squarely on my shoulders for that. A perfect respect situation - to me - would be a dog that does what I ask when. A dog that looks at me and to me for what to do. A dog that realizes that I know best and they will follow.

My trainer told me a story about a guy - walking out in the middle of BFE and his dog got loose off the leash. A car was coming down the road and the dog was now across the street. The car was coming (really fast because it was the middle of no-where) and he yelled DOWN to the dog - and the dog stopped moving and hit the dirt and looked to him for the release - that to me is respect. Would my dog do that at this stage - no - but again, I place the blame squarely on my shoulders for that level of training.

Answer 9

My dogs respect me, because they listen when I tell them something and they usually (not always) do what I tell them to do. Mine aren't perfect, but it is because I have not been the perfect trainer lately.

Mine do not ever growl at me or bite me or argue if I take something away from them.

And yes I also laugh and cringe at some of the advice given to people on how to earn a dog's respect.

I usually recommend Obedience training, NILF, and spay/neuter for pets. I have picked up a few pointers from Cesar Millan's show and book....surprised me, but helped me...so I also recommend his show/book along with a trainer for problem dogs.

My dog's do respect me, but then I have years of experience training dogs also....mostly my own, but my grooming clients all had to learn some basic commands also. I've trained a few dogs for other people, but got frustrated with folks that would backslide and let the dog go right back to bad habits.

Dealing with other peoples' dogs has been a pain at times, not because of the dog, usually because of the owner. If I owned it, it would not act bad.

Answer 10

A dog respect is show in the way your dog responds to your commands. If you train your dog to go to the back door to go out to potty then he is respecting your training. If you teach your dog to sit and stay he is respecting your training.
With out proper training then there is no respect, if you want to call it that.
It's all in the training and the time you put into it and your dog.
As you know training doesn't stop ever. It continues and grows and changes with you and your dog. If you mess up so does your dog. Not he dogs fault it's yours.

BY the way it's nice to see you again.

Answer 11

I have a Jack Russell who's attention span is short. She's super smart and locks in on stuff and hears nothing.

The respect... who cares. I want my dog to love me and listen to me. That comes from constant teaching and reminding them what is what and how they should behave. They learn from doing and a small amount of discipline.

My little girl was abused and we have to be careful how we handle things with her. But it's not about respect, it's about showing them right from wrong just like a little kid. The tone in your voice is generally enough to let them know when they have been bad.

No do will intentionally disrespect anyone. They don't know what that means. They don't respect you either. They either love you or don't like you at all.