way as to not come off crazy, even though perhaps I am. I have spent the better part of the last three years stressing myself. I mean heart pounding daily, tranquilizers, psychotropics that only made me more stressed. I have done damage I know that, I have hurt those around me who are not well psyhically. As bizarre as this sounds and trust me it sounds bizarre to me. I was wondering if I were to give my life so that another could live would that make up for all the damage I have caused those that love me. I mean I would hurt them I know that but another good person could go on if I were to take a bullet that was meant for them or ............ok I am rambling like a psycho I know..............I am just trying to make sense of what I have done these past three years and this seems like the only way to make amends. Thanks
2007-08-02 08:53:38 · 21 answers · asked by lauren10901 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
People make mistakes, its only human. Don't be so hard on yourself. At least you realize that you have hurt people, thats a good start at not doing things like that anymore and becoming a better person yourself. Instead of taking your life to give a better person a chance, why not give yourself a chance to be a better person instead?
2007-08-02 08:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lauren, It seems as thought you are suffering from some sort of guilt. First of all, you have to believe that there is not one person on this earth who has not made mistakes or has regrets. The best thing you can do is make the decision to change it and learn from it. Taking yourself out of the equation of life, will only hurt others more (family, friends,etc.).
You can change it, but you need professional help to do it. Maybe a hot line you can call will help. Sometimes when you talk it out with someone, you can see the other side, or the brighter side.
2007-08-02 09:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by Funny Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My grandfather was ill and had racked up a bunch of medical bills. He carried a lot of guilt over the fact that his children were helping him pay for things. He thought that it would be better if he just ended his life - he thought that his children would get his insurance money, and that the burden of taking care of him would go away. He was never more wrong - the insurance didn't pay out a dime (as they don't typically for suicides) and the kids and especially the grandkids missed out on spending even a few more days with him.
Suicide is not an answer - it really will not solve your problems or the one's that you are trying to make amends with. It sounds like you need to talk to someone to work through your issues. Sometimes it helps to talk to the people that you are trying to make amends with - chances are, things are as bad with them as you percieve them to be. But please get help - especially if this is a serious question.
2007-08-02 09:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by KD 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you have gone through these things that you have mentioned.
To respond to your question, re giving your life - there is one life that has already been given to make amends for wrong-doing, including your own - and that is Jesus. We have all done wrong things, and disobeyed His commands. But God loved us (everyone) so much that He sent Jesus, and Jesus agreed to die on a cross and pay the penalty that our sins deserved. So what we need to do is confess our wrong-doing to Him and turn away from all we know to be wrong (sin), give our lives to Him to be the Lord of our lives, and ask Him to forgive us for what we have done. He will take your guilt away and make you a new person inside; you won't have to feel you need to die in someone's place like you mentioned.
Here are a couple of really good websites that might help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks
(The text version of the above clip can be found at:
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html )
http://winkiepratney.com/tracts_by_winkie_pratney/index.html
(Scroll down to "These Are the Facts" - a free download)
2007-08-02 09:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by Friend 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just apoligize, and change your ways... serenity and the desire to make things right is a powerful thing. Please don't consider killing yourself to make up for the past. By doing that it's a sort of cop out, self centered and unnecessary. You said it yourself that it would hurt the ones around you. Make amens and try to better yourself. It may be tough but do it for the ones you love. You already sound like your sorry for the way you've acted in the past, that's a start.. go with it and change your ways!!! Good luck and hang in there!
2007-08-02 09:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by thatguy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is never a way to make amends. If you want to make up for things you've done to your loved ones, why not start by spending time with them, talking to them, helping them. Don't stop there, get involved in some volunteer programs to help others. There's so many things you can do to "save" a life without giving your own.
2007-08-02 08:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. I know you are going to get lots of answers like this but, really, that would not help anyone. If you could die to save someone else, they would ocnstantly carry the guilt of living from your death. You are right that you would hurt those you loved and I think the best way for you to help them would be to show them you are sorry and accept any help they offer.
Your family have put up with it so far: they know you don't mean it and probably understand how you feel. If they don't, talk to them: you can't really help anyone by giving your life (for one it would be illegal).
2007-08-02 08:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by Confused 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear of your lengthy time of distress.
And so sorry you feel so intensely guilty.
Making amends and how we go about that
is to recognize that "I am human" "I am flawed"
Speak or pray to God, asking Jesus for forgiveness.
As you focus your life and your attention toward God,
you can learn to forgive yourself, too. Working with a Christian therapist, or a minister you can learn what it is to forgive yourself, to walk away from being guilty and feeling guilty.
Death does not solve any problems. Death does not make amends. It only creates bigger problems for the people who love you.
You are asking and facing one of the most basic of life's questions This is something to talk about with a therapist or minister. A person need not have a mental illness to have your concerns.
But a person who comes to the conclusion I read in your question is dealing with great confusion and misunderstanding. You do not need to die to make amends.
Only find forgiveness in life.
2007-08-02 09:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Hope 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
TAKING YOUR OWN LIFE IS NEVER THE BEST SOLUTION THATS ETERNAL SEPARATION FROM GOD AND THEN YOU THINK THAT WILL MAKE AMENDS FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE NO YOU WILL LEAVE THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE WITH GUILT BEYOND COMPARE AND A DEATH OF A LOVE ONE IS A HARD THING TO GET OVER,AND NO ONE CAN TAKE YOUR PLACE IN THIS LIFE,THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU YOU ARE SPECIAL IN GODS EYES AND HE JUST WANTS YOU TO COME TO HIM AND ASK FOR HELP HE ONLY WANTS TO BE YOUR EVERYTHING WHY DO YOU NOT GIVE HIM A TRY HE WILL HELP YOU BE BLESSED LISA
2007-08-02 10:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by God Child 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to make amends is always to live your life the way the people who love you would want you to live it. You can make amends by treating the people you love the way they deserve. You can make amends by doing good things for people you don't yet know or love. You can never make amends by choosing death. That doesn't make things better. It only means you have given up.
2007-08-02 08:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by assiqtaq 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋