Why do all you atheists believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Question

Atheists believe in evolution, right? So how exactly would a flying spaghetti monster evolve? I know that there are spaghetti monsters that can't fly who live on the Island of Conclusions (you have to jump to it.)

However, I can't see any possible selective pressure that would have caused a regular spaghetti monster to evolve the ability to fly. Can someone please explain how this works to me?

Just so I'm not plagiarizing... I stole the idea of the Island of Conclusion that you can only reach by jumping from Norton Juster's "The Phantom Tollbooth."

Answer 1

The FSM (peace be upon Him) was the chosen one of all the other spaghetti monsters. He ascended into heaven on the wings of the meatballs to rule over all the universe. Evolution had nothing to do with it.

Answer 2

"There is no Flying Spaghetti Monster" is a perfectly valid statement because there is absolutely no evidence that it exists. If there is irrefutable evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exist, then the statement is of course false. What people believe does not make it true, ie the example you given about people believing Earth to be the center of the Universe. So if people, a lot of people, believe that God exist it does not mean that God actually exits. A logical being would take the side that unless you prove something to be in existence then that thing does not exist. Otherwise how are we would have to prove the non-existence of the Easter Bunny, Zeus, Bogey Man, Santa Clause, etc...to say they do not exist and that is just crazy

Answer 3

I was a lost meatball swimming in a sea of tomato sauce with no direction until I accepted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my personal savior. Now I have direction.

The only way to the Flying Spaghetti Monster is through the parmesan cheese.

Answer 4

You see, the land spaghetti monsters were constantly attacked because they left trails of meat sauce which were easy to follow. They soon learned that they could jump off cliffs and survive due to their spongy nature, thereby breaking the trail. Some were better at this than others, and so............oh crap, I'm out of creativity for today.

Answer 5

Don't generalize. The Flying Spaghetti Monster (and the Invisible Pink Unicorn and Russell's Teapot) are parodies to mirror other religions to show how ridiculous they sound to us.

atheist

Answer 6

The fact that you actually believe atheism has anything to do with flying spaghetti monsters makes me want to fall over laughing and projectile vomit at the same time.

Answer 7

The Flying Spaghetti Monster gets her/his/its ability to fly from two-year olds that eat with their hands. That, and angry cooks.

Answer 8

The FSM is the spaghetti monster from whom all others come. He is the creator of us all, and the feeder of starving children. His meaty-balls drip the sauce of forgiveness down upon your unbelieveing heart and make it smell sweet with marinara, and sometimes alfredo. (It's a parody of organized religion) Prove to me he doesn't exist! Ramen!!!! He loves pirates!

Answer 9

I like spaghetti and meatballs. I'm so glad I created Italians!

Answer 10

If the spaghetti monster can fly, fewer things can try and eat it.

Atheists don't really believe in any such thing. All they believe in is mocking believers and trying desperately to disprove the existence of God, whom they secretly fear because of His perfect righeousness and holiness and His coming judgement and wrath.