Why don't people understand how this is child abuse!?

Question

All of the people who are on here talking about to spank a child. You are abusing your children! There is never a 'right' reason, stop the excuses and the nastiness! Children should be taught to have deference and respect to their elders, and learn the qualities of dignity and trust.
It is abuse! Please, stop degrading your children, and raise them with love.

To give a response to many who questioned if I was a Mother. Yes, I'm a Mom to 7 lovely, now grown children. They are all doing very well, with families of their own, and good jobs. I was also not abused when a young girl, in my culture children are raised to respect, and with respect. I sincerely apologise to any offensive remark, hurtful to others. It just makes me so sad to see Mothers in the USA who lash out to their children, and cause fear and pain, I know it not meaning to be hurtful, but it is. I give apologies again to offend, but it would make me feeling happier to think more parents could treat the child with love.

Answer 1

When I read your comments I could faintly hear the Twilight Zone theme song playing in the background.

I do not abuse my children, my parents didn't abuse me, my aunts and uncles didn't abuse their kids, my friends don't abuse their kids. And guess what???? We all have spanked our kids at one point or another. You know why it isn't abuse??? Because it doesn't leave bruises on them, doesn't cause permanant damage, nor does it break the skin. And also it is not deemed abuse according to the laws of my state or of this country. As long as the government doesn't deem it abuse, what right do you have to deem it abuse???

Tell you what, how about you raise your kids how you want and let the rest of us raise ours how we want?? We wont put you down for raising your kids in La La Land, and you mind your own business about how we raise ours. DEAL?!?!?

Answer 2

Glenda no offense but I would say that you do not have any children of your own or you would not make such a sweeping statement. People who have not had the experience of parenthood often feel the need to judge and degrade the parenting skills of others. No one is a perfect parent and no one has perfect children and yes at one time or another most parents will have spanked their children. Right or wrong this is the case and until you are in a similar and equally stressfull situation with a child of your own you do not know how you would react yourself.

Yes there is a fine line between a spank and abuse and you have to think about all of the implications physical and mental of spanking your children and yes physical punishment should be avoided.

I would however say that it is disgusting that you have basically came on here to say that any parent who has spanked their child is an abuser. Shame on you!

Answer 3

Every parent has to decide on how to discipline their child. You are no one to judge parents who choose to spank their child. I was spanked as a child and it never did me harm because I wasn't beat there's a big difference. Some children I believe are much more devious than others and those may need to be spanked, you don't know every households circumstances on what makes the parents spank their child.

Sure spanking is not the greatest form of discipline for some but for others that's what works for them and the children. That doesn't make them love their children any less than the parent who doesn't spank.

Stop being so judgmental

Answer 4

Ok, either you have no children or you were abused as a child and told that it was "spanking". If you do have children, by your actions on here, you probably abuse your children, too. Mentally and emotionally abuse them, but abuse them nonetheless. What you need to do is step down off you soapbox and shut your trap. Who are you to tell everyone else how they can raise their own children? Oh and BTW, if you are basing your "statements" off Dr. Spock (as sooooo many people do), just remember one thing...Dr. Spock never spanked and his son committed suicide. There's something for you to ponder about.

I raise my kids with love, and yes I do spank, but only when necessary. My kids respect me and the rules of life. When I spank my children, I am not degrading them. Degradation comes when you yell and belittle your children and call them names and do other inhumane acts to them (actual beatings, not spankings...there is a difference).

My children are learning the qualities of dignity and trust. They are also 2 of the most polite boys you will ever meet. They do say "yes (or no), ma'am or sir", please, thank you, you're welcome, and a whole lot of other polite niceties. They may only be 5 and 6 years old, but I would rather have it that way than the way I have seen most other kids 18 and younger acting.

So before you start judging the way other people punish their children, you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror at yourself and ask yourself, "why? Why must everyone do things my way???" because, honestly, the more I read and re-read your question, the more you are starting to sound like a toddler throwing a fit because you're not getting your way. Stating it simply, there is no right or wrong way to discipline your children AND spanking done correctly is NOT abuse.

Answer 5

Who are you and where are you from ? How many kids have you raised and how did they turn out ? At that one point when your kids pushed your athority as far as they could, how and why did they stop pushing ? What are your credentials ? Since you posted an answer I thought I might throw some questions out there. If you ask me or my kids if we were abused what do you think we would say about the 2 or 3 times we were spanked ? Do you think that lack of proper discipline is also child abuse that may be worse than a spank ? Do you stick up for your children and refuse to admit that they have done something wrong when they have ? Are you raising criminals or just very "progressive" children ?

Answer 6

You know those children that run crazy in the department store, and their parents are saying...I am going to count to 3. This question reminds me of that parent..

1........2........mean time the child is just laughing at them, because what is going to happen at 3? Nothing.....you are going to say, "Please don't do that again."

If you would just give a little pat on the bottom, this would let them know that what they are doing is unacceptable. We are the parents.

About the comment of raising children with love.......I had quite a few spankings when I was little, and I can remember one like it was yesterday. My mom and I laugh about it now, but at no time did I think that my mom did not love me. If anything she loved me enough to teach me right from wrong.

I don't agree with your way of discipline (if that is what you call it) and you don't have to agree with mine, but don't tell others how to raise their children!!!

Answer 7

ok i am going to answer this as a person who wasn't spanked as a kid. I think my mom tried her damnest to be a great mom and she never once spanked me...however she annoyed the daylights out of me. She talked and talked and talked and talked....frankly all i ever wanted was for her to shut the hell up. I didn't care why i should do something and figured if your not going to make me do it then im not going to do it...which i didn't and she would start the lecture crying pleading bit all over again. I am a VERY respectable adult, i take resposibility for my actions, and don't get into trouble...that doesn't nessarily mean to that it was the RIGHT choice not to spank me. My mom didn't just talk to me she would also try the other take away things...which didnt work because no one was home to inforse it, essays or sentenses and other punishemnts but to tell you the truth, i always felt isolated and felt like it was too much effort to actually make me do something rather then tell me to do this or that as a punishment or just rant and rave. I am not saying spanking is good for every child...for example my brother was a VERY easy going fun loving kid and didnt need to be spanked and wasn't he did very well with natural punishments. He was the kid that my mom could say "pick up all your toys by the time i count to 10" and he would try his best to do it....hed be upset if he failed....me right from the start from the same thing....im screaming and crying"I CANT DO IT". My mom had 3 different kids and didn't really change her parenting styles to flexuate with wehat best fit each child.....My brother didn't need spankings, my sister probably didn't matter either way...me i think it would of been benificial. Spanking isn't abuse. Trust me ther are just as bad of things parents can do without raising a hand that is MUCH more hurtful then a single swat on the butt.

Answer 8

Sorry Glenda, but I did a paper on the subject last year for college and spanking a child IS NOT CHILD ABUSE according to the law!

I read up on this very subject in the penal codes and you can use spanking as a reasonable form of discipline as long as the child is not hurt.

We are all entitled to our opinions. I have spanked my children in the past but they are getting older now (7,12, & 15) and I am finding that they don't need it now. But if the deed warrants a spanking, I will not go to jail for it and it is not classified as "Abuse"!

Answer 9

actually according to the state of Missouri a normal spanking is Not child abuse. Our schools even have corporal punishment. WITH a piece of WOOD. (a paddle) Its a personal choice. I don't even see it as a gray area. There is NOT a fine line between abuse and spanking.

I spanked my 18 year old and she's never been arrested, never been suspended, doesn't talk back (much) and is still a virgin. I stand by my choice!

Answer 10

Because you know EVERYTHING right?

We do raise our children with love. Truly loving your children means doing whats best for them ALWAYS. For our family sometimes that means a spanking.

Your comment of spanking being abuse is the same as if i would say "well your not spanking so your children will wind up in jail, shooting up schools, or being gang bangers". How does that sound? Not very good huh? Ignorance maybe? Yep your feelings are correct, you can find ignorance on both sides of the debate.

I tell ya what, you raise yours like you wish, and not worry how I raise mine. Then were all good.