i want to adopt a baby girl but im worried that my son will tease her if he gets mad and iv'e told my son not to do that if i do get her what should i do???
2007-08-02 07:10:53 · 9 answers · asked by Jennifer C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
You would choose not to adopt because you think your son might tease her? That would be a silly notion.
If you gave birth to a daughter, he might tease her one day too. He might even tell her that you don't love her, or that you found her in a cabbage patch, or that she was dropped off by the alien clan of Mars.
Chances are that if you adopt, your son will only love his sister as much as you do.
ADOPT that baby!!!!!! Show your son love!
2007-08-02 07:16:46 · answer #1 · answered by bells2599 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The question here is...will your son tease her because she is adopted, and will he be able to control himself as far as not hurting her feelings about it.
The other thing to think about is your son jealous because you "in his mind" will be picking her and why do you need her. Other children definately are a consideration when bringing a child into your home either through foster care or adoption.
Fortunately, my adopted daughter was 3 months when our first foster son (newborn) was brought into our home. We have had several other children in our care, so she will be used to having children come and go and also maybe stay for a long time or forever.
I really do think that you should sit down and talk with your son. You do not say how old he is, but make sure he understands why you want to do this. And that just because you didn't birth her, that she is still part of the family that isn't going to go away.
2007-08-02 14:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by AdoptiveMama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you concerned that your son will tease her about her being adopted & that he's not? Kids tease their siblings about any number of things...I have four kids, so I've been through it.
Know, first of all, that he will probably tease a biological sister (or brother) about whatever, too. It's all in how you handle it & how sensitive he is to others' needs and feelings.
In our family, if you're unkind to someone in the family (we have a rule that what you say has to be #1, true AND #2, helpful OR #3, kind), we have the person who was being unkind do an "act of service" for the one he/she was unkind to. If N is unkind to C, then I have N do an act of service for C (usually of C's choosing, but she may need help from us in choosing what it will be). Generally it's something like taking that child's dish night or cleaning their room or something -- generally taking over a chore. Sometimes, it's something else like playing a game with that child or whatever. If it was a terribly unkind thing, we may have that child be the other child's "slave" for the day. If C wants a glass of water, N must be willing to go get it for her, etc. Now, C must not be unkind to N in this process, too, or it'll get turned right back around on her.
Two of our kids are biologically ours and two are adopted. They're just like biological siblings...like all of them were born from me...they love each other & tease each other. We try to encourage more love and less teasing but it still happens sometimes.
You'll do fine. Don't make concerns of teasing be a reason that you don't adopt a child. Go for it, he'll adjust.
2007-08-02 17:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by StacieG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well other than putting the idea in his head already, which might not have been good. I don't see a problem.
Adopted children are great. I explain it this way. Both of your children are equal. Both of them came from your body.
They both came from your heart. You had the hearts desire to give birth to a child so you had your son. Then you had the hearts desire to adopt a child so you had your daughter.
There is no difference. Your son is not going to understand that there is a difference unless you tell him there is.
Both of them have a special unique bond and "where" they came from is meaningless.
But you need to tell your son you are adopting because you want another child, not because you want a daughter.
That is also not a good idea. He might get in his head that you wanted a daughter but got a son so you are going to try again but this time make sure you get what you want, a daughter.
Tell him you want to adopt a child and don't say you want to adopt a daughter. You want another child period.
2007-08-02 14:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by The Morg 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have both adopted and bio children and my bio child has never teased my adopted children, however, my adopted child has often said my bio dd was dropped off by a spaceship. If you really want to adopt, dont let something this silly change your mind.
2007-08-02 17:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lorelei 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son would tease your daughter, its whats siblings do. It would have nothing to do with her not being your biological daughter or his biological sister. Children are very accepting. I’m adopted, my 3 brothers aren’t , sure they teased me sometimes but it was never over the fact that I was adopted.
2007-08-02 16:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What difference does it make what relationship your son has with his sibling whether its adopted or from your body?
There is no difference, you wouldnt allow him to treat an adopted child any different than one born from your body.
Kids tease eachother, or atleast try to until you punish them for it.
2007-08-02 14:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i never heard my son ever bring it up to my daughter who is adopted. called each other names like kids do, but adoption was never ever an issue.
2007-08-02 16:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by c504play 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you worried about that, is your son usually cruel, if you raise him to be a good person he will not do that, why do you have to tell him not to, i don't understand this, he is already planning to be mean to his sister, sounds like you have other issues to deal with before bringing another child into your home
2007-08-02 14:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by melissa s 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋