i was just at the therapist for the first time and my mom promised to not say old hash and she did?

Question

do i have a reason to be mad causde i feel like i could kill someone right now...she was talking about how i got drunk with my friend...im 15 and this has had me grounded since the beginning of summer..what should i do??

Answer 1

My hunch is that your mom isn't sure that grounding you for so long is the right way to address the issue.
She is seeking advice or mediation (fair judgement) from the therapist who sees kids and parents on a regular basis.
Probably dealing with this issue is beyond or outside of what your mom anticipated her teen would do, and she is very afraid for you.

Sorry you are dealing with such strong feelings of anger.
Please understand that your mom is dealing with equally strong feelings of fear for your future.

Appeal to the therapist, ask to speak with her alone. You obviously have a right to your feelings, and your reactions. Ask some questions you write down during this next week, and take to the next therapy session. Ask about the punishment, if it "fits" the crime, and why or why not, in the therapist's perspective. Tell the therapist how YOU think your mom should have handled the situation.

I believe if you have one or more honest discussions with a "neutral party" it may settle down the hard feeling between you and your mom.

Try to be open to it.
Did you have any other ideas oh how to settle this thing between you and your mom?

You should be made aware, that if you get drunk at age 15, that certain circumstances can land your mom in jail.

Answer 2

You do have a reason to be mad, but I think you should take a few deep breaths and practice serenity.

Your mom does not belong at your therapist's sessions with you ... how can you talk to your therapist with your mom breathing fire and brimstone?

Your mom sounds like she is very angry at you.

One of the most toxic emotions is anger. You can't control your mom's anger. She should go to her own therapist for that.

But you can control your own anger and other poisonous emotions. Practice yoga or pilates and breathing meditation.

Don't allow others to infect you with their anger. Their anger is like a contagious disease. Try thinking about your mom in a positive way.

Make a list of all the good things your mom has done for you and for others during all the time you have known her.

Reading this list will allow you to think of your mom as a nice person even though she has grounded you.

The change in your perception of her will help you free yourself of your anger towards her.

If you are always angry at her (even for good reasons) you will only hurt yourself. She makes the rules and some of them you have to live with if she won't negotiate.

Try to focus on things that are of interest to you and don't allow distractions from things like angry parents. Let their anger be their own problem.

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