me and my ex met and went out while going to the same church. i dumped him and he stopped going to church. every couple of months he appears for a couple of days and then disappears again. everytime he wants me back and even thou he knows i have a bf but im not mad at him i dont think hes gotten the message that im not interested. the thing is that every time he comes back hes worse, his life is falling apart and as a friend im really worried. i cant tell him to leave me alone cuz hes such a delicatye person he might do something stupid, and i cant get close to help him cuz that would send him the wrong message. what do i do???
2007-08-02 06:51:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, realize that although you care for his well-being as a person, he's NOT your responsibility. Suggest he talk to his pastor about getting help for his problems. You really can't help someone who can't help themselves. Getting back with him will not improve his life, only bring your's down. He needs a professional, so don't try to solve all his issues. As nice as you are, you can't and shouldn't be more than a friend, or take on his problems at the cost of your own well-being. Kudos for being a decent, kind person. Wish there were more like you out there!
2007-08-02 07:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Forgot How 2 Show Him 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a different church,change your number,dont make any effort to contact him. dont do this like you hate him but for his good. its gone take a while for him to find someone new but he will. he has low self-esteem. he is more than likely scared he wont find someone who will except him like you did. so he is trying to keep you and its blocking him from reality because you are all he thinks about. he wants to get over you but the more he sees you its hard. so you have to be helpful and just try to avoid certain areas he will be in. i know some people gone say you need to tell him how you feel but if he is like you say he is then that will destroy him. if he has close friends and family you need to let one of them know so they can watch him and talk to him. just please try not to contact him and just avoid him. dont sneak around to try and see him or anything or you will keep giving him the wrong signals.
2007-08-02 14:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by Gemini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his behaviour makes me worry about your safety. He is no longer ur responsibility, if u give him the time of day you are giving him hope which could end violently.... if you are worried talk to someone at ur church to help him, after all that is what they are there for right?
2007-08-02 13:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by ljshorty86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the minister at your church what u just told me and ask him to go around and see your x. its not your place to save this guy but you would be showing him the same concern that the situation deserves.
2007-08-02 13:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe talk to your pastor and let him know that this person may need his or her help. they are trained to get involved in this type of stuff, and you are doing him a favor.
2007-08-02 13:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not as delicate as he appears. He certainly knows how to manipulate you. If he were truly depressed, he wouldn't show up periodically to see if you noticed his absence.
2007-08-02 13:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you love him
2007-08-02 13:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by kelly k 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋