i am a single woman ,im 65 years old and i live with my parents--------?

Question

(my choice),my parents are both elderly and my mother is handicapped,my dad is slowly recuperating from a brain injury and dementia.between the two of them always nit picking with me theres a lot of inner turmoil here,i would like to move out but im on ssi checks every month and finding a sutable place thats close to our house may be impossible.i dont drive so i may have to use public transportation. thats not my problem ,my problem is my parents,theyve got a strangle hold on me,im not even free to visit my aunt in florida for two weeks! god forbid i should ask them,its no,youre going to annoy them (baloney) they like it when i visit them,and it gives me a well deserved rest. there are times when i feel like putting an end to all this riff-raff ,but i havent got then nerve. whats the solution? i only wish i knew!!! oh,and ive got high blood pressure as well.,this constant hollering isnt good for me,should i either move,or take a vacation from this zoo like atmosphere?

10 points for the best and most senseable answer.

Answer 1

CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS AND MANIPULATION, THERE IS ALWAYS 2 SIDES TO A COIN!!!!!! YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT. GEE, IN ANOTHER QUESTION YOU HAD ABOUT YOUR MOMMA NOT BEING HAPPY WITH YOU ON THE COMPUTER ALL THE TIME, YOU QUOTED YOU WERE 55 YRS OLD! UM? WHY DONT YOU GO OFF LIKE AN A-BOMB LIKE YOU STATED IN ONE OF YOUR ANSWERS WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED.....SINCE ANOTHER QUESTION YOU HAVE ASKING ABOUT TAKING CARE OF YOUR FRIEND'S 4 BUDGIES!

Answer 2

I don't agree that your parents have a strangle hold on you. I took care of my Mom til she passed away last year and I know from experience it isn't easy. I worked two jobs and still took care of my Mama. Old people nit pick all the time-more so when they are sick. You'll be there soon enough. What comes around goes around. I sense something more here that you are leaving out.. Your solution is easy. You need to move out. Others have answered that two old sick disabled parents are too much for you and I agree. Home health can help take care of your parents. There are assisted living homes they can go live and be well taken care of. You can find a low income apt or since you also are disabled assisted living in another apt. After you get your parents settled , then by all mean go and visit whoever you want to. Of course you want be able to handle their checks when they move. It goes to where they move and someone else will be over their money. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I think you may be tired of feeling like a slave to your parents-but their money sure has come in handy. Not the answer you wanted, but I think that some of the other answer just petted the situation. Straight answer-move out.You are 65 years old.

Answer 3

I am sorry you are in such a pickle.Call health and human resources,talk to a social worker for help.Since you can't drive,meet them down the street .or If you take a bus,go see them.They will have answers you may not have thought of.You definately qualify for respite care,where someone comes in to take care of your parents a couple hours a day to give you a break to go and do whatever you want to.It's none of my business why you still live there at age 65,but do me a favor.Go look in the mirror,you are looking at a woman who is an adult,does not need permission to do anything,a woman who deserves respect and kindness.Until you love and respect yourself,you will be stuck there.Your parents GAVE you life,they do not OWN that life.It is yours to do with what you please.Your parents lived their lives the way they wanted to did'nt they?You deserve the same right.Keep looking in that mirror,tell that wonderful,caring woman that you love her,you want her to be happy,she does not owe her life to anyone,wanting her freedom is a GOOD thing not a bad thing.Tell her that everyone deserves happiness and to make their own life choices.Tell her to move on and leave the guilt behind.The guilt belongs to your parents who still treat you as a child,who will not let you enjoy a life of your own.Tell her that you will NOT let this continue.Call a social worker for help and start a new life.You DESERVE it.It is your right!If you need a friend to help you email me at [e-mail]
I wish you the best.

Answer 4

The unfortunate truth is your parents are getting up there in age and they are not going to be around forever. You have to realize that one day, they will not be there. Personally, you should feel grateful that your parents are even still alive at your age.

You have to be completely straight with them. You are 65, an adult, and you need to tell them straight up what you want, why you want it and how you want. You have to tell them that you have to think about your future years once they are gone. If you have trouble moving out on her own now, or speaking up for yourself now, do you honestly think that it will be any easier once they have passed on? Or, if worse comes to worse, maybe, considering their ages, think about putting them into some kind of an assisted living facility, or the like.

Also, a vacation is NOT the answer....PERIOD. That is only a temporary solution and all your problems will only come back to haunt you once you have come home.

Basically, you are an ADULT, you are free to do what you want and when you want it. Just speak up for yourself once and for all!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Well, I would say that you are good and grown and can do what you want. Easier said then done.

I took care of my grandmother until her death. I loved her but god could she drive you nuts. No matter how old you are, she knew better. I had to make a hard choice. Likve my life....or live hers.

I found a nice assisted living apartment complex and moved her in. She was in her 80's. Her mood changed right away. She had her own friends. She had nurses that visited. They help church at the complex for those who wanted to come. They had "parties" and it was great. My point is, even if you can't move your parents out. Get them a hobby. Your not dead until your dead, and we often forget that the elderly love to get out and be normal again once in awhile. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

honey don't move out ,you need to rake charge and don't take a no answer from them any more you stop asking them' if you can' and start saying I am going to. Hire a care giver to come in and help you out cause if you don't get some rest from them you will be in the same boat as them.You are 65 and for give me but not a spring chicken your self your any more mom and dad are from the old school and fill like you are still a child and they can still tell you what you can and can not do

Answer 7

I've asked my Mom (handicapped & on SSi) to answer. Here goes: Dear daughter, you need help! No one person can care 4 TWO people. Their needs r 2 great. Call this number & ask to have a PCA(personal care attendant) sit with your parents whenever you deem. 1866-229-5222 While this will take time to put into effect, you will be able to visit Fla. & have time 4 you! God Bless!

Answer 8

honestly.........you are at that point in your life when you need to travel and enjoy life.....and you are past that point in taking demands from your parents....you say no with respect and still admire them. but let them no that you will go to flordia for the 2 weeks and this is what the plan is.....see maybe if someone can come and help out for a couple hours a day so you can go knowing they are ok. i would honestly put them in an assistant living home so they can have someone there 24/7 and you still can visit and have a life too. please consider it........i already told my parents that i would not take care of them physically but emotionally i would.

Answer 9

for 65 years you have lived with your parent? don't you think you deserve to experience the world,i understand you help your parents but i think you need to start thinking of you,take a vacation to see your aunt,you deserve that,and take from there,you might like being on your own,so takes small steps.start with a vacation,and see how your parents do,maybe they can take care of them self's,you know you only go round this world once,might as well make it a happy one

Answer 10

Kudo's for being 65 / living with your parents who need more care than you can give while you are wasting your day on Yahoo answers. Have your aunt come and visit you and add to the frustration in your already hectic life.