First off, relax and take a deep breath. Things can, and do get better. Ok, so you made some dumb mistakes. The world didn't end, so there is still time to make things right. But you have to make things right for you first, worry about "pleasing" everybody else some other time.
First, you gotta lose the addiciton. You don't say what it is, so I can't give an answer addressed to a specific one. There is help available to you. Start asking around, call the local court, social services, alchoholics annon etc, get the help to break free of your addiction. I'm sorry about the losing the virginity thing. That can't be regained. But so what? in this day and age, it isin't uncommon. Neither I, nor my wife were "virgins" when we married. What does it matter if something happened before we met each other. We don't hold it against ourselves. Our life started when we met. Anything before that, doesn't matter at all. And neither of us were without our "history" either. As for losing lifelong friends. No, I don't agree at all. If you have true friends, they are still there no matter what. Give em a call. A friend always has your back. If they bailed out on you, they weren't true friends. But I'm betting you were the one who distanced from them. Have a little faith, call em up and just talk. You'll see who is still there and who isn't. Next, stop worrying about your "perfect" sister. She really isn't. No one is. Realize that you aren't her, and she isn't you. Get centered on yourself and stop thinking about her. Realize that you are gonna pull thru because of your strength. Then think about her going thru what you have, think she could find the strength to start over? I doubt it.
As a dad, I might get mad at my children when they make a mistake, heck I've got a middle son that makes you look tame. I have made some strong comments to him in the past, I was trying to shock him into getting his life together. It didn't mean that I stopped loveing him. That could never happen. Talk to your dad. I think you will see that at first he is distant. That's because he doesn't want to get hurt, and he doesn't think you mean it. Be strong, he will come around and show you that he does love you. It may just take a while of you proving yourself. In her own akward way, your sister is right, it will get better, when you start making it better. You may have a memory of your mistakes forever, that's true, but life is learning from our mistakes and moving on. Not wallowing in self pity. You have the answers, it takes hard work and it won't happen over night. baby steps, just take baby steps. one thing at a time. beat that goal, then start on the next one.
worthless? no baby, you're not worthless, just a little lost right now. You email me anytime you need to talk, I may not be able to fix things for you, but I make a great listener.
2007-08-02 06:06:38
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answer #1
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answered by randy 7
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Please...take a deep breath...now exhale. Things WILL get better...you have taken the first step by realizing that your life is not all that it could be. The next step is to start living well and treating yourself like the person that you want to be: start eating fruits and veggies to get your body back up to par; go jogging and do other forms of exercise to strengthen your muscles as well; when your body is neglected depression and negative self-image will linger longer. After your body is back in shape (and while you are getting there) you can start looking at the class catalogue for the local community college (I would suggest staying close to home this time) to see what courses you should take NEXT SEMESTER! Just becoming enrolled in school should make you feel like less of a loser, because you won't be; you will simply be one young person who actually learned from her mistakes and is willing to move on a little wiser. Cheer up and stick with it, stay off drugs, go to AA, do what you have to do, but PLEASE...go back to school and get back in touch with your friends, or make some new ones at a pottery class or something. Good Luck! :-)
2007-08-02 12:52:07
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answer #2
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answered by jules 2
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Unfortuantely you made these mistakes and yes you will have to live with them. It will take a long time to gain your parents trust back.
I don't think there is anything I can say to actually make you feel better. Just some advice. You now know how much you messed up and that is good to admit it. Now you have to work to get your life going in the right direction again. Instead of feeling down, focus on what you need to fix. Find a decent job to work while waiting to begin school again. Take your time finding new friends and choose them carefully. When it is time for school again, focus on that. It is one thing at a time.
It will take a long time for your parents to get over what you have done. Depending on what type of people they are, they may never be able to, but if you work to rebuild their trust and show that you have turned around it will make a big difference.
Good luck to you and I really hope you can move on with your life and succeed.
2007-08-02 12:50:36
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answer #3
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answered by biller29 4
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It's good knowing the mistakes you made. The point of it is that they ARE mistakes. I've done things in my life when I was younger that I wish I didn't, but I think everyone has. As long as you learn from your mistakes, you should be accepting of yourself even though others may not be so quick to. I know it's hard living in a house that seems to constantly remind you of them, but try to ignore it and just do better from now on. Do more than what's expected of you from your parents. Do things that's no even asked of you by your parents. They will start to see the change and hopefully they will start to praise you for all the good that you do now instead of dwelling on your past mistakes. I'm sure they've made some in their past, but I think it hurts them to see their daughter get into things like this. They just want a better future for you and for you to respect yourself. It's ok to feel shame because without it, you wouldn't want to change.
2007-08-02 13:07:24
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answer #4
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answered by LB 3
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Things won't get better until you make them better. Events can shape you or you can shape events.
Get over your past. You're spending too much time looking back. You are not the same person that you were. If you were then you would have no problem with your past. You'd still be living it. You've obviously grown as a person. Good first step.
It's time for the next step. Go back to life. Take all those lesson you've learned and live them. Start looking forward. Start doing something. Enough self pity. More self respect. The past is what it is. The future is still yours to shape.
Also, your sister is not perfect. No one is. Not her, not you, not me.
2007-08-02 12:58:57
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answer #5
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answered by JB 6
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Sounds like you learned a lot from the mistakes you did make.
That's what life is all about, learning from what we do and not making the same mistakes a second time.
Insanity is performing the same act over and over expecting a different result.
Take what you learned from your addiction, and apply it towards not only never becoming addicted again, as well as maybe helping someone who is addicted.
Take what you learned about your relationship, and apply that towards finding an awesome guy who will love you and care for you regardless fo the sex life.
Take what you learned from screwing around in college and flunking all your classes and apply that towards passing next year.
As far as the past 'won't go away'. you don't really want it to. If you forget the mistakes you made, you may find yourself doomed to repeat them, forgetting is not necessarily what you want to do, learning from the past, and above all, you have to forgive yourself are the two most important things here.
2007-08-02 12:49:19
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answer #6
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answered by Michael H 7
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Remember this....."You are Gods precious baby just like every one else". Some one once told me this. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I have been sober for 24 years. I got clean and sober when I was 24....I thought my life was ruined and over also....many stupid things happen with substance abuse...you are definitely not alone. I don't know how old you are, if you drive or not, however you can call the Alcoholics Anonymous hot line and get a meeting place for addicts or alcoholics for young people just like you. Try it, you will be amazed at how many other people feel just like you, put your life back together now.....you can be and do anything that you want to.
2007-08-02 12:47:48
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answer #7
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answered by Rein 5
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When life has totally dissected you, then you will see what you are truly made of. Life is about these setbacks. You need things like that to happen to you. I'm sorry that it did but this is your opportunity to prove to yourself that you can pull out of this and still be the person you know you can be. You say that you want to be anyone else but you. Are you sure? There are some people that are seriously worse off than you. You can pull through this. It's not gonna be easy but you can do it. I have faith in you and I don't even know you. Shouldn't you have the same in yourself? Good luck and God Bless. Remember to forgive yourself in the process.
2007-08-02 13:18:12
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answer #8
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answered by gudlistnr 2
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Stop fretting about the past and DO something about it.
Get yourself back in school, if that isn't an option than beat the streets until you find a good job. Remember:
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift from god
That is why we call it the present.
You can't change your past, everyone makes mistakes so don't be hard on yourself. Your sister isn't perfect, no one is.
Set goals for yourself and get focused on what you want to accomplish in your future. Best wishes for you!
2007-08-02 13:01:38
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answer #9
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answered by CINDY J 4
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You done what you done now get over it..Learn from your mistakes..Yes it will follow you for a while.. Yes it will go away in time..Do what you had set out to do! It's never to late and you are worth it! Your not your father's biggest mistake..You made a mistake and that my friend can be changed! Your not the 1st and wont be the last to make mistakes! Show yourself you love yourself and go out there and be all you can be and make your dreams come true!Only be ashamed of your mistakes if you don't learn from them and change because of them!
2007-08-02 13:13:54
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answer #10
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answered by queenbezzzzs 2
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