I constantly think I'm not good enough, I hate feeling this way?

Question

I'm a teen and I don't think I'm good enough for anybody and it's getting really extreme. I've had an eating disorder since for 6yrs. I'm compulsive(eat too much), bulimic(throw up), and anorexic(starve)..I'm not skinny b/c I have Ednos, so I'm usually normal and sometimes over. Anyway, I feel so weird around people like I'm not pretty enough and I always feel like people are lying to me. So I never ask, I just leave it alone. I have a pro-ana book and I feel like a fattie, i'm constantly working out and stuff, hoping to get a boyfriend but one never comes along. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't have a boyfriend and I think it's my body, I dont' think it's too too bad, what do I have to do, I'm really confused.

Answer 1

Honey, men like all kinds of women, they like skinny girls, fat girls, it doens't matter. What DOES matter is your self esteem. This is what is keeping the men from you.

Here is what you need to do #1 talk to your parents about your eating problem.Hopefully one of them or both of them will understand and try helping you by making healthy or more healthy dinners, making sure that you eat right (and dont throw it up) and maybe exercise with you. My parents used to take us on long hikes, which was actually fun and quality family time, and free too.

I'm sorry you feel this way but I'm also down on myself. It's weird, when I'm alone, I think I'm pretty and look ok, though I'm slightly out of shape... I feel pretty good. when I'm around others, I constantly note how pretty they are and I feel down about myself, though its NOTHING they do. My best friend is my height but a size 0! That is just how she is. So I've got like 45 lbs on her and being around her makes me feel fat. I'm only 145 for crying out loud and I'm in my healthy weight range. When I talk to her about how I feel about myself she always says "but you are gorgeous! I'm just really skinny and you are skinny too! Just stop comparing yourself to other people"

You need to also find yourself a good friend that can sympathize with you and that you can be honest with so they can keep an eye on you and read you to know when you are harming yourself (bingeing, starving...).

One of my other best friends was anorexic and didnt tell me until we were very close for 10 years. Now whenever her boyfriend tells her "you need to lose a few pounds" she calls me and tells me "I'm at the gym and I haven't eaten at all today" I tell her "get your butt to mcdonalds and eat a big mac RIGHT NOW!"

You need a support group. Please, please confide in someone that is near you in person, not online :)

i wish you the best!

Answer 2

Just because you're a teen and don't have a boyfriend doesn't make you a weirdo. I'm 23 and I have never had a boyfriend. I don't want one, don't need one. Now, here's what I think: you need to worry about getting your life, yourself together before you even THINK about a boyfriend. Your eating disorders aren't healthy for you or even for anyone else who might enter your life. Not everyone understands and not everyone cares. Get your life in order and find yourself. Don't think you're getting this from a really cute girl who has guys looking at her all the time so she doesn't know what she's talking about or understand what you're talking about and she just doesn't bother with guys. No way. I'm no beauty and I'm not the shapely type. I just know that when someone special is going to want me, he'll want me no matter what, because he's seeking inner beauty, not the exterior. Now, I don't know what you look like, but it's 10 to 1 that you're a pretty girl who just needs to find herself and her inner beauty. You don't have to do anything to get a guy. Just take care of yourself, eat well, find your talents and make yourself stand out that way. As to asking people what they think of your looks: listen, tastes vary in physical beauty, don't let what person A and person B say attack your psyche. Take care of you, love you and the rest will come later. I hope this helps you.

Answer 3

well..
dont ever think that about urself. There are tons of ppl who love u! Think about the good things about u. U r a good shopper, a good athlete, a kind girl, and/or a loving person. There are tons of other girls who r not super skinny, like me, but you exercise and eat right and have confidence, and everything will be well. Something important i've noticed was that popular girls and girls who have bfs, have super confidence. If you don't believe in urself no one else will. So try to keep telling urself about ur good things and urself & others will notice how much happier and positive u've become. Never tell urself that ur not pretty enough b/c even though looks mattera little they r not everything. Instead of tellin ppl about how self-concious u r, tell them what u did last weekend and how much u love to shop. Most likely, u r not fat, u just bel;ieve urself to be, because of habit. Thats bad, so dont think of urself like that. Dont think that the boys dont come to u becasue of u. Think that the guys dont come because they are too nervous, are not mature enough, and/or aren't good enough 4 u. What u do have to do is raise ur confidence, believe in urself, dont do that harmful activity (puking, eating too much and exercising too much), and get help. Althou that last part might seem weird, dont think that. Its not just crazy ppl that go to their parents or phycologists for help, anyone can. Schedule a few meetings and u will feel great. Good Luck and keep ur hopes high!!!!!

Also, the answer from Raingirl (above my answer) is amazing, so listen to that in addition to mine or even more tham mine. I m a teenager 2 & never had a boyfriend, but that doesn't bother me. Because ur true love wont care how u look!

Answer 4

You need to get yourself healthy before anything else can change. Your eating disorder is making you unhealthy which radiates out to the rest of your life. I know that it is easier said than done but you need to get help for it. You need to wake up tomorrow morning and say "I am going to change my life for the better, starting today and I am not looking back" Start eating healthy, no purging, increase your excercise. Excercising increase endorphins throughout your system which will make you feel better, stronger and more confident. And of course it will help you get to a weight that you can be comfortable with. I am in the same boat with you, I am always fighting the thoughts that I am not good enough...but you know what? It's BUllsh**! You are good enough, you are an amazing person and if other people can't see that or put you down they are NOT worth your time. Once you get healthy you will gain confidence and the boys will be attracted to that. Good luck!

Answer 5

First I do suggest that you take some counseling. Talking about it will help getting it off your chest. If your really this unhappy then get a make over. Start a diet and excersize to make you look better. This really isn't all necessary because you should love yourself no matter what. Having a boyfriend isn't everything as long as you have friends. Sooner or later your going to find the one for you and you'll get married and have a happy life. Just be patient everything has it's time.

Answer 6

You're a teenager...and female,so you're going through some
changes,some that are causing you some pain because they're so confusing. Best thing to do is #1) talk with your mother and/or older sister(s), #2) see your doctor as soon as you can, #3)ask your doctor about seeing a psychiatrist to help with the confusion and other problems that you're going
through.
As for the boy friend problem, don't worry about it. It will happen when it happens, and worrying about it won't change that.. And who knows, you could be Miss Universe someday.
Just imagine ALL the guys you will be turning away...

Good luck to you,future Miss Universe

Answer 7

Hello! first of all please don't feel that way, trust me when i was your age i had the same problem. I always felt like i had to prove myself to others, and i wasn't good enough, pretty enough, to hang out with the crowd. I always was hard on myself i hated my body in high school, i was always on diets and i isolated myself and was very shy when it came to boys. I felt that they were only looking at my flaws, and not the good person i am. Well that's when i was 17-18. I'm 32 now i have a wonderful handsome husband and 2 beautiful kids. Trust me in time you'll realize if these dummies don't like you for the star you are then they have the problem not you. One of these days you'll let the shine out you have inside. So lift your head up high and stand up straight. You are somebody and i am somebody who knows what your going through. Your beautiful. Listen to the Natalie Furtado song, "Your Beautiful that motivates me even today.

Answer 8

for a start find a guy who does not have a gf & sk him if he will be ur friend. after that work to keep that relationship alive by calling each other more often & meeting often. next, stop thinking whether u r good or not. just go as u r. invariably lack of bf or a gf is the way we look at the problem. u don't have a bf or a gf 'cause it is hep. u have them when u need them. i wouldn't tell lies that u r pretty or not 'cause i have not seen u. but i will tell u only one thing, that u r brave, since u have identified a problem in urself. next, go for a personality development programme, if after having the bf for a few months still does not make u feel better. it is invariably our apprehensions which make us good or bad.

Answer 9

I think you are beautiful, why did I say that ? Because you are young. You have to feel good about yourself,develop a self -esteem and live a full life. You have to love yourself be the best,of what you do. why are you so concern of your weight ? It does not matter if you are overweight ,you are still a special person. Eat to nourish your body,and stay healthy. Soon ,You will meet a boy who will love you of what you are. Remember,you are beautiful and special.

Answer 10

you definitely need some help, i am not saying that to be mean but you do. you should talk with someone you trust maybe your mom or dad. your self esteem needs some boosting. you sound as though you are borderline depressed and that is dangerous. and i only tell you these things because i too have been where you are. i was anorexic so i know what it is like. you need positive people around you!! Just please, talk with someone soon before you slip into depression deeper. Good luck to you and may God bless you