my mom is all of sudden she found any excuse not to plan the wedding i really feel like i am the underdog here since i am the youngest. then i have a friend who is upset that my mom is not on the ball with the wedding and a lot has happened but what is really annoying is my mom hasn't sent the contact back to the wedding place. which supposedly we are suppose to be getting married in november. is she delaying this on purpose just to make me mad and keep me nervous that it won't happen. please advice me every-time i bring it up she is like you overreacting which i don't think i am i need advice what do i do anyway to motivate her to get her act going? my friend like have you got the invitation sent it or order and no we don't. my mom has the money i don't. i need help any advice would be greatly appreciate how to motivate my mom to move her reerend and not in a mean way? and how to get my friend to lay off of me its really irritating i have two controlling people when it is my wedding please HELP? iwhat am i suppose to do i can't take the heat i feel like calling it off everythough save the dates and half of my bridesmaid have brought their dresses. which is not fiar to them. advice needed.
2007-08-02 05:15:42 · 28 answers · asked by ladylynx26 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
look fool my mom did everything for my sisters why do i not deserve the same treatment i dont not apprectioate you critizim i am asking for help if we could afford i wouldnt need her and you not helping not CRITIZIM NEEDED
2007-08-02 05:24:35 · update #1
my mom does like him if we had here way we would of been married in januraly last year
2007-08-02 05:26:08 · update #2
not important my age but every wedding book that i have read say bridesmaid pay for the own dresses. so leave that subject alone
2007-08-02 05:28:40 · update #3
i wish i was spoiled my sister are and i am more mature then you i wanted was some common advice and the fool i am talking about was the one that was asking my age that to me was inapporite who cares my age.
like i would be willing to walk in anyone shoes that would be willing to walk in mine. i am very kind hearted and caring but some of you can be very hurtful in what you say.
2007-08-02 09:30:19 · update #4
You are in the same boat I am except it is my father. I am getting married in 5 weeks and about 2 months ago my father came to me and said that he could not help with anything and would not be able to pay for anything. Mind you, we did not ask him to pay for it, he offered.
I would not call the wedding off. This is a day for you and your future husband...NO ONE ELSE! Remember that. DO not let her or any one spoil the most important day in your life so far. It took a while for me to realize that but it is the truth.
As for your mom. Let things go. I know it may be hard but show her that you can do it on your own. I have planned my entire wedding by myself. If anything you probably have wonderful friends and bridesmaids who would be completely will to help. Go to your mom get any phone contact numbers or extra information you may need for your vendors and take it in to your own hands. At least then you will know all is getting done.
I hope any of this helps, if you need any thing else, question or what ever, e-mail me. I will do my best to give you the best advice.
Congrats, luck, and best wishes!!
2007-08-02 06:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Kristin P 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay, first of all, you need to tell your mom that if she doesn't want to/ can't take care of the contract, that you need to know now. Come to some kind of compromise - tell her that you're very worried that everything won't be done in time.
That way you send it back yourself if she can't.
If she has told you that she would help you fund and plan the wedding, and she is not doing so, tell her that you need her help with the finances, and that you will do the planning. You could also suggest a wedding planner, but they can be frivolous if you're not looking for a super extravagant wedding.
You shouldn't have to do all of the planning for the wedding, but you can't be helpless. Ask your friends to run errands to pick up orders if they're available, or ask them to help you pick out cakes, plates, etc. That way, you're not stressing out all by your lonesome.
Where is your fiance in all of this? He should be helping, too. This is your wedding together, not just the bride alone.
You're right - it's not fair to cancel the wedding when the bridesmaids have already bought their dresses. So, get the people who are willing to work together, and get this wedding done!
2007-08-02 05:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by Chelsea P 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she's threatening to not have anything to do with you over this then she obviously hasn't changed since when you were little. She's still a horrible mom. What huge job does she want? She's just the mother of the bride. But then I don't guess I know what mothers are supposed to do anyway, all my mother is helping me do for my wedding is cook and decorate. For the most part all she is a guest...You birth mother is being silly. Try and explain to her your feelings if she chooses not to come then that's her choice. If she would turn her back on her grandchild then she's not a good grandmother either so your daughter wont be missing anything.
2016-04-01 11:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should tell your friend to back off first. Tell her that you appreciate her advise but all she is doing is making you stress more so she just needs to drop it. With your mother, that's a tough call, especially when she is helping pay for the wedding. I would sit her down and talk with her. Tell your thoughts and concerns and see if you can come to a compromise. Usually a good heart to heart with mom makes you understand where the other person is coming from. Good luck, and don't worry, it will all get worked out.
2007-08-02 06:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, a few things come to mind.
Maybe your attitude of entitlement is pissing her off.
Maybe she doesn't like your finance
maybe she doesn't feel the two of you are ready for marriage.
Maybe she doesn't have the money and is ashamed to tell you.
If you are planning a November wedding, time's a wastin' girl. Your friend is bugging you because she sees that the important things are not being done.
You've gone ahead with certain details, but not all of the work is done and others have spent their money on dresses and such and you don't even have a signed contract for the venue!
Talk to your mother like an adult, not a whiny child and see what's up. then YOU make YOUR plans accordingly.
You don't say how old you are, but if you're old enough to want to get married , you're old enough to face the financial facts and plan a wedding that YOU can afford to pay for YOURSELVES.
2007-08-02 05:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by Army mom 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You say that you are the youngest, so I presume that you have older siblings who have been married. If those marriages have failed, that could be a reason for your mom's reaction, and no this does not reflect upon her thoughts about your relationship.
It is sad to say, that I really do not think that you are going to be able to get your mom to assist in the manner that you would like. So then it is a situation of you taking the responsibility.
And in doing this, there is the chance that she will complain about what it is that you do and/or your decisions. Should this happen, very strongly inform her that the event is for the purpose of you and you fiancee and that the two of you are the ones who have the authority to make the decisions.
I do wish you luck.
2007-08-02 05:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by Steve 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to approach your mom in a non nagging way. Why not suggest that she go with you to pick out invites then mention oh I really want to get these printed but we haven't reserved a space yet. Once she sees that reserving the space is putting everything on hold she should move it along. If it's a popular place where you are having the wedding just remind her you don't want someone else taking your day. Be as calm as possible
2007-08-02 05:21:46 · answer #7 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All of us girls have been raised to think that a big wedding with all the trimmings is a natural expectation, something we dream about like it's a sure thing. I found out something surprising recently. Did you know that whole idea was developed by advertising agencies just in the last 50 years?
Once I heard that, I started thinking about it and realized that none of my grandmothers and not even my mom or any of my aunts had a big wedding. None of them even had a formal white wedding dress. My mother got married in a blue suit, wearing a pretty corsage of flowers.
Think about it... what is really important here? Obviously, it is the relationship between you and the man you are marrying. If you are truly in love, you could get married in flip-flops on the beach, and that would be good enough.
It sounds to me like your mom IS dragging her feet, but you haven't sat down with her and talked about it, or asked why she might be doing this. Does she not like your fiance'? Is she not wanting to spend the money? What is really behind all this? If it's the money, I think you need to be reasonable and ask her, okay, Mom, how can we pull this off and still have a nice wedding based on the budget that you are presenting? And once we get the budget in place, will you help me move forward and get everything done? If she still drags her feet, I would suspect she is not in favor of the marriage.
For myself, my sister sewed my wedding dress (simple long dress in "candlelight" shade of off-white) and I baked my own wedding cake (orange with white frosting). My mom prepared a lovely reception for us, which was a big surprise. The wedding itself was intimate, just a few friends and our families. I had one matron of honor (my best friend) and one flower girl (my niece). It was one of the happiest days of my life. Yours will be too!
I hope this was helpful. Best wishes to you!
2007-08-02 05:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mhaerie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad situation. My grandmother did the same to my aunt (also the youngest) she was very "not into it" and was being very selfish- My aunt didn't have it and asked others to help her along. You have good friends to help, Step up to the plate. You can't change your mom- If she wants to be this way and then scratch her away until the wedding. Dont be mean or rude, just act as though she isn't going to step up and be helpful. Keep your head high and take confidence in yourself and friends to get the ball rolling.
Congrats! Good Luck!
2007-08-02 05:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two reason this could be happening
1) she doesn't want you to get married.
A) she doesn't approve of your hubby to be.
B) she doesn't think your ready
2) she doesn't really have the money
A) she does have the money but doesn't want to spend it on you
A resolution? Ask her why she's acting this way? If it's about the money tell her you can post-pone the wedding to a later date if needed? OR offer to help her pay for some.. it is YOUR wedding you know.
If she hates your fiance there isn't much you can do. Just tell her that it's your decision and there is nothing she can do to change it.
2007-08-02 05:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋