Friend offered to make my wedding cake?

Question

My not so dependable friend, who lives 3 hrs away has offered to make my wedding cake as a gift. Very nice of her, but i've never known her to be a cake decorator. I havent seen any of her work, but i'm reluctant to agree because she's well... flaky and i dont' want her backing out on me for some dumb reason at the last minute. BUT.. she'd be saving us probably $250. Should i make it myself and save myself the hassle? I'm really crafty and probably could do it myself.

so what should i do?

Oh, and i haven't actually seen her in over 5 years??

Answer 1

Make it yourself or hire someone to do it. You don't want to have to worry about this around your wedding day. Just politely decline your friend, tell her you already have someone lined up to do this.

Answer 2

It is not easy to make a wedding cake. I have been decorating cakes for a year now and I still have some disasters (like today from the heat) Bite the bullet and order one from a bakery. You will save yourself time, and stress. Just thank your friend for the offer but tell your friend that you already ordered a cake and put down a non refundable deposit.
If you don't know what you are doing the cake can fall over, tiers can collapse into itself, the frosting can melt off (you can't use the standard grocery store canned stuff) among a host of other problems. You don't need that kind of stress days before your wedding. It honestly looks a lot easier than it is to make one of these cakes.

Answer 3

I'd ask to see some of the pictures of cakes she's made and ask to help design the cake. If she really is going to come through for you, I would let her do it. She's saving you a lot more than $250 really. Cakes usually start around $2.50/serving and go up from there, so she's really giving you a huge gift.

Where do you live? Maybe you can have a back-up plan just in case. YOu might even discuss with her whether she could make a "dummy cake". She could make it ahead of time, and you could go pick it up before the wedding, and then you could order sheet cakes to be cut in the back to save money. That way you've saved but still have a wonderful centerpiece.

Answer 4

If she's that flaky and you haven't seen her in that long, it might be best to tell a small white lie and say you've already got the cake arranged for from someone else. She doesn't need to know you could be that someone else.

And if you do decide you can't hurt her feelings by refusing, I'd make darn sure you've got a plan b in place well ahead of time in case she flakes again. After all, cake is the reason to go to the reception for a lot of people so if you wind up with two cakes, pretty much nobody will complain, but if you wind up with zero and no alternate dessert, you might never hear the end of it.

Answer 5

I think it might be best to politely decline, maybe say you've already put plans in place for the cake, or say that you're required by the reception facility to use their bakery, or something. I have a friend like that, and I'd never let her take over an important aspect. If she wants to do something, she could be the guest book attendant or something similar that's nice, but won't exactly ruin the day if she flakes.

I think I am going to make my own cake, too. My reception isn't for another month, but I'm going to purchase some rolled fondant today and see how difficult it is to work with. My plan is to have a small, square, two-tier cake to cut and save the top tier for our anniversary, and then two or three 13 x 9 iced sheet cakes to serve for dessert. That way, I don't have to pay for a huge elaborate cake, and my guests will be able to choose what flavor cake they'd like.

Answer 6

My opinion...
Do NOT let this friend do it. You know her history and it would only cause trouble. She probably recently took an interest in baking and saw your wedding as the perfect opportunity to TRY to make a cake (AND save money since it would be in place of a gift). If she tends to be 'flaky' kindly refuse and tell her you're excited to see her at the wedding though.

You could try, but is it really worth saving $250? Cakes are tricky, my grandmother made a cake for my dads wedding and it was lovely BUT she's been baking for over 60 years. There are so many things that could go wrong AND you would be responsible for getting it to the reception in one piece.

I would just pay a good baker to do it for you and deliver it.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 7

The cutting of the wedding cake is one of the major events of the night. You don't want your cake to look like a 5th grader made it (no disrespect to you or your friend). I think the wedding cake is one of the purchases you need to see as a priority and spend the extra money on that. Hire a professional wedding cake baker to take that stress off of your shoulders. You're going to have so much going on that you're not going to have time to make a wedding cake yourself or worry about someone else making it. Being crafty does NOT make you a baker, trust me, I've tried it. Thank her for offering to make the cake but that you've already found a shop who will make exactly what you want. She doesn't have to know that wasn't the case originally. Plus, she's 3 hours away you said? How does she plan on getting this to you in one piece? Hire a professional.

Answer 8

I wouldn't take a chance with my wedding cake. Hire a professional with a good reputation. You can also save money bu getting a smaller wedding cake, (maybe 2 or 3 tiers instead of 4 or 5) and ordering sheet cakes to have hidden in the back and served to guests, along with whatever wedding cake you want served.

Answer 9

Splurge and get a professional baker. The last thing you want is to be stressed about cake icing on your wedding day. You'll have enough to worry about. The $250 will have been well worth it. And even though you are quite crafty, cake decorating is difficult and time-consuming. It's definitely a better idea to practice on shower cakes and leave the real deal to the professionals.

Answer 10

First off you do not want to make your own cake. You will have enough to worry about.

Secondly you don't want to take a chance on this. If you do choose your friend offer your house or your parents kitchen and see if she can come a few days before the wedding and make it there so you can kind of supervise!

Thirdly have a serious back up plan!!

My cousin was suppose to make mine and two weeks before my wedding she got mad at me and said she wouldn't. I was devastated! Ended up using someone I didn't really know made and was not very happy with the end results!

Answer 11

i say go out an buy a cake you dont want to be so dependent on others worst case i say go out an get a small two tear cake and 3 or 4 sheet cakes if you go to sams club for sheet cakes they are like 15 for a half and 30 for a full that normaly feeds like 100 same at walmart give or take 5 dollars and if she brings hers then great if not you have a back up