One more joke for you..?

Question

Things you learn from Children

For those with No children---this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age---this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age---this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age---this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children---this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. (No matter how old the child!)
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
First grade... true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid


Thats all from me xxx

Answer 1

brake fluid and bleach here i come

This list is funny no matter how many times I hear it.

Answer 2

Certainly not from anon in Austin Texas,this was doing the rounds on email in London 3 years ago !

Answer 3

My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and "adventurous" so this is what I have to look forward too. My husband would definitely be #25. LOL!

Answer 4

haha well good i got a sex joke for you hope you like it :) on hearing that her grandad had just died kate went and visited her nan to comfort her when she asked how he died her nan replyed by sayin that he had had a heart attack while makin love 2 her kate said that it was silly that 2 old people where havin sex as it was askin for trouble her nan replyed by sayin that they used to do it to the slow pace of the church bells as it was just the right speed she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on by sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come along he would still be alive today'' :) xxx

Answer 5

That was good!

I'm actually going to try the brake fluid and clorox... Sounds fun!

Answer 6

Those were funny! I liked the ones with the washing machine especially lmfao!

Answer 7

LMAO! Those were great...looks like birth control is the best thing since slice bread..lol

Answer 8

LMFAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this is the funniest thing i have ever heard
if i could give you more than one star id give you a 100

sounds like when is my turn


Lily

Answer 9

anyone else wondering if they can make a smoke bomb out of brake fluid and bleach I'm sure as hell I am

Answer 10

oh great ive got the giggles by the way im 63 lol lol lol