I just kicked a bridesmaid out of my wedding and I don't feel bad about it. I think the wedding just brought the whole situtation to a head and made me relieze that she wasn't really my friend. I feel bad about not feeling bad about her feelings or the situtation.
For those who know me- Yes, it's was the crazy phyco friend.
Has anyone else gone through this or know someone who has?
Why do weddings bring out the worst in people?
2007-08-02 03:46:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
For those who want the whole story-
She just started making too many demands for my wedding, she was going to the rehearshal, she wanted this, her husband was bothering to go.... and then she started a fight with another bridesmaid. I then found out she was doing NOTHING for my wedding and was only planning her own- 2 weddings in one year- yes both hers and giving me grief on both of them!
Instead of helping my bridemaids with my shower- she was planning her own. She was only planning of bring ICE to my shower that she could steal for free from her college (she works there) and was demanding I pay Hundreds of dollars for hers...
Plus the kicker was she told me HOW hard she is working on my shower, planning and reading books.
I just finally blew up on her and kicked her out of my wedding- on her voicemail because I couldn't reach her. She pleaded with me but never said I am sorry or Wow, I didn't see it that way... she had a 100 excuses. I just reliezed the friendship had
2007-08-02 04:41:28 · update #1
been lost for sometime. She wasn't a friend anymore- she was someone I have know for 15 years that I just put up with. She isn't very nice. She is always right and she throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way.
2007-08-02 04:42:35 · update #2
Thank goodness it's over!!!!!
I'm sure that you are relieved now that she's out of the way. Your planning process for your wedding will be smooth now, you don't need all the added stress of your needy, pretentious, demanding, unconsiderate "friend".
It's sad that your friendship has been ruined over this. I don't blame you for not feeling guilty, why should you? She was a pain in the neck. She wanted to make everything about herself and give everyone else hell to compensate for her own personal issues. Some people are givers and some are takers, and she went out of her way to make you feel bad about planning your wedding and throw hissy fits over the most stupid details.
Quite honestly, I'm glad that the charade is over, you both have been at the end of the rope for a while and kept on going just for the sake of your friendship. Bubs, you cater to all of her whimps and meltdowns and ridicoulous demands. You tried to understand and accomodate her stupid crap no matter how senseless it was in spite of your own wedding. You went, planned, helped for her 2 weddings and only got more guilt trips and mor BS for it...screw her!
Good for you that you didn't let her walk all over you no more. Now you can actually enjoy your wedding and all the fun activities to come.
Remember: Complacency only leads to contempt.
I'm glad to hear that the drama it's over.
I've always said that in a wedding is when you show your manners and true colors. This is the oportunity to show what you are made of to your family and friends. Obviuosly, she already did. It's not about the money you spend, but rather, how you treat people.
Good luck
2007-08-02 05:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had nearly the same except two-yep-TWO of my bridesmaids walked out three months before my wedding. We hadn't been getting along and it was tense, and when I picked the bridesmaids dresses without them, they told me they were out. They said I was being selfish (for my own wedding???) and no longer wanted to be friends. (Two of my real friends stepped up and made the day better than it would have been had the other two stayed)
Don't feel bad about what you did. If you aren't happy, forget it! It's one of the most special days of your life and you deserve happiness, just like any bride does.
Forget her, if she wants to make amends fine, otherwise cut your loss and enjoy your new life!!!
Weddings always make someone upset, cry or get angry, so take it easy, laugh off the 'stuff' that happens and carry on to enjoy it! Congrats and hope it goes well!
2007-08-02 04:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by Elle3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes I would have done the same. I believe weddings (and the preparations therefor) are the bride's special joy (with as much input from the groom as the couple decides) and that negative, complaining, selfish people have no place there. Enjoy the remainder of your preparation time and have a wonderful, peaceful, beautiful, lovely, wedding and reception.
I don't think that weddings bring out the worst in people, I think it just puts people in situations where more is expected of them and that shows their true colors.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-08-02 05:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I guess even though I do not have a large NUMBER of friends (I think my portion of the guests is going to be about a dozen total) I do have good QUALITY friends. My MOH calls me once every week or two and just says "How's it going? Is there anything I can do?" And the other bridesmaids just helped with a shower and plan to help decorate the night before and go to a couple appointments for dresses and hair. No big demands from me. No major requests from them.
2007-08-02 04:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not privy to anyone who did it, and I didn't (I only had the one attendant) but any stressful event such as a wedding can bring things to a head, things which simmer beneath the surface. Then something happens to bring them out, an accident, a death, a terrible illness, a wedding.
I would like to disavow everyone of the notion that people are jealous that other people get married. I have been married 14 years and I am 51, but I got married at 37. Most everyone got married before I did, and I very much wanted to find my special guy and get married and live in the endless bliss that is marriage. Or something like that.
But I did NOT seethe with jealousy as other girls picked out their colors and booked their reception halls and haggled with florists and caterers!!! I did not attend bridal showers with an envious scowl on my face! My best friend's wedding dress hung in my house for a couple of months before her wedding, and I did not sigh and gaze at it, and cry, ever, not even once!!!
2007-08-02 09:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We didn't want the drama, so we elected to have no bridal party at all...our mothers will sign the cert as our witnesses.
I think weddings bring out the wrost in people for many reasons...some are jealous it isn't them, some think to their own weddings and either feel like they were cheated and want their dreams realized through you or think your wedding should only be just like theirs, or some people just don't have a good opinion of the couple (even when they say they do)...plus there are so many changes, which always riles people up...big changes in families...that's upsetting to people.
2007-08-02 03:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never been married only lived with a couple of psycho's. You did the right thing kid. I am so excited about your wedding and I can't wait for the fun to begin. Everything is going to be Okay. You just need to decompress now. Andrea is like a child having is temper tantrum, eventually she will cry herself to sleep. if you ignore her she will go away. Love you!
Besides you have people who do care about you and want you to be happy like Dawn, Maria, Your Mom, and A whole bunch of others Like Giggles and Me!
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Must think positive thoughts!
2007-08-02 04:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by JillardG 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been waiting for an update from you since I read your post the other day. WHAT HAPPENED???? You have to post the details.
As for feeling bad, no I dont think you should. You really tried to bend over backwards to make this girl feel included and you have been an extremely patient and good friend to her, all she did was s'hit all over you. I'm glad and relieved for you. Now you know your wedding day will be stress and drama free!
Did she in turn tell you that you werent in her wedding any longer?
2007-08-02 04:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this might or won't pertain to you, in spite of the shown fact that, adolescents today have an extremely loose and casual way of speaking - in lots of cases by using textual content textile or facebook. all those verbal substitute can so rather be ignored, no longer gained in a well timed way or perhaps misunderstood. have you ever actual tried to call her to have a actual time communique? if so, and he or she has nevertheless disregarded you, then you certainly have no selection yet to take some action. To be disregarded for 2 entire months is extremely sending you a sparkling message that she needs no portion of you or your wedding ceremony. i will think of of no excuse to forget approximately a chum for that long. If it is any indication of how she is going to be engaging in herself in the time of your wedding ceremony making plans, I advantageous do no longer blame you for wanting to grant her the boot. It, regrettably adequate, is time to take some action. call her one final time with a time-honored message to come again to you as quickly as a risk. Wait 3 days for her to return your call. whilst she calls or regardless of if she does not, WRITE her a private notice, sure, for the period of the postal device, which you extremely prefer a bridesmaid you could talk with and because she refuses to attain this, you're looking yet another bridesmaid who can assist you on your wedding ceremony plans.. shop the drama at a minimum and shop on without her. If she occurs to have some stupid and lame excuse, merely tell her which you already made up your innovations yet you a minimum of wish she would have the capacity to return and assist you as a visitor at your wedding ceremony. that's approximately all you extremely can do. Be style, in spite of what occurs. attempt to no longer supply excuses or motives considering you will in basic terms finally end up protecting your selections. you have stable reason to no longer have her on your bridal occasion and he or she knows damn properly why.
2016-10-19 08:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why, but they really do bring out the worst in people, EVERYONE!!! My mother didn't even show up to mine; she's pulled this on each of her kids. She just flips out cuz it's not going her way.
My daughter was my maid of honor and she was mad, my sister, a bridesmaid got all uppity... It was terrible, I tried not to be a bridezilla, but it seemed like everyone else were guest-zillas...
Good luck, I'll pray for you...
2007-08-02 03:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by Monchichi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋