how to handel death of a loved one?

Question

I just got word that my grandma hill (dad mom) passed away this morning. I am very sad and i dont know what to do. first my mom pass away then my grand pa hill then grandpa tally (mom dad) and 2 of my cousins. and now my lovely grandma . y does this happen to me. i dont get it. For some reason i am not crying. am i handeling her death diffrent than what other people handle death. This is probably the worst i have felt since my mom died when i was 5 years old.

i know it happens to everybody SORRY I LEFT THAT ONE OUT

Answer 1

People don't die to hurt YOU hon... death is a part of life, and unfortunately, some of us experience more family deaths than others.

those you have lost wouldn't want you to stagnate and feel sorry for yourself, would they? they'd probably want to know you are able to move on with life.

there are many resources for GRIEF, LOSS OF FAMILY MEMBERS on line.

It's sad you lost your mom at 5 years old, also. I'm sure that was quite a blow.

Grief therapy and grief support groups might also help? There are probably GRIEF CHATS and GRIEF FORUMS on the intnernet... maybe you could look into those, as well?

sending good wishes... hugs

Answer 2

Everyone deals with loss and grief in different ways and even each individual will handle loss and grief differently depending on the closeness and situation. Perhaps it is a bit different with a grandparent than with a parent passing because somewhere deep down it seems more as things should be. Not that we want anyone to pass away but being a grandparent means you're old. It isn't necessarily true but it can be a mindset.

For me, I have lost all my Grandparents, a Cousin, my Mom. Each one has been different. I like to look at it as those who pass are done suffering. They are ready to move on to the next step. That can mean many things to many different people, but if you have spiritual beliefs as I do you know they are on to a better place and you are better for having known them. You can always remember them and if you believe in what comes after death then you can have comfort in knowing someday you too can be where they are and see them again.

Answer 3

I am so very sorry for you. That is so much at once. You are processing everything and in a state of shock so dont be concerned because you arent crying. You will at some point. Meanwhile keep busy and see what you can do to help with arrangements. Write up some words about her. She will always be in your memory and heart. Then all of your loved ones who have passed would want you to go on and have a good life and not be sad. They would want you to live every moment since we all are going to die someday just like they did. My condolences to you

Answer 4

So sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves in their own time and ways. Some never get over losing a loved one. Only time will tell. I always go by a certain motto when someone dear to me passes on: "A memory safely tucked away brings back a favorite yesterday." I'm sure each family member feels the pain of her loss like you do. Perhaps to help ease the pain, you can each celebrate the life she lived by sharing some of your favorite memories of her. Good luck to you and your family *hugs*

Answer 5

Hi,first my heart goes out to you for your many losses.my mum died in January this year,and although Ive been with many people when thay died [ i worked at an old peoples home]This is the first time some one close to me has passed away, mum had cancer and i was in bed with her when she went,my sisters cried , but at first i did not,and the first tI'me i did ,i did so because i felt others would think i was cold, i felt so guilty that it did not come from the heart.but now when I'm on my own and think about mum my heart breaks and i sob like a baby, as im shy i have no one to talk to about it, at first i tried talking to my husband, but he never liked mum much and he made that more than clear in an argument so now any hurt in side i keep to my self and it,s so very hard, i feel as if i just want to scream at the world,but that's enough of me, as your grandma only passed away a short time ago your probably still in shock, please talk to a friend if you feel you need to and do NOT bottle it up,you will go through many emotions and will not understand why with some of them, please know that your not alone, lots of other people are grieving. any time you feel angry,hurt,or just need a shoulder lots of people will understand,take care susie

Answer 6

I hate it when people tell me this, but it is true...it will take time. There are 5 stages of grief so you are just going thru the 1st one.
My grandma passed away last December and there are things that remind me of her and I still cry.
I am sorry to hear that so much of your family has gone, that is a lot to handle, but it sounds like you are doing the best you can.
Many thoughts with you and your family!

Answer 7

I'm very sorry for your losses. Death, unfortunately, is a part of life and we lose loved ones throughout our lifetime. I, like you, have had many losses of loved ones and have very few relatives left out of many.

How to handle death? I have found that grieving is very important, you must feel the pain, so to speak. Crying is very helpful and healthy, it releases the tension of the stress internally and actually does make you feel better in the long run.

Think about how wonderful, funny and loving these people were and how blessed you were to have them in your life. Think of the happy times, not that they have gone to be with God. Remember, they are with Him in Heaven and that is a pretty great place to be! You will see them all again in heaven someday and that will be some party! Just imagine when you enter heaven and they are all there to meet you, see their faces smiling at you, they will be happy to see you again.

The first face I want to see is my grandfathers, he meant so much to me and when he died a very big piece of my heart went with him. I know he has been there by me in rough times, in fact, he appeared to me one night at the foot of my bed when I was very ill. To say the least, it was comforting knowing he was there.

There are stages of death you will experience, not crying right now is normal because you are most likely in a state of shock right now. When you are ready, keep yourself busy much of the day and then put aside time to grieve more, it takes time and with it you will notice the pain lessen. Take care, God bless. I will pray that you have peace, strength and comfort.

Answer 8

its very painfull when someone you loves dies doesn;t matter who it is, no one understands how you might feel everyone of us is different some can accept it others find it hard, like you say it happens to us all, but sometimes we like to think that it won't happen to us. I found it very hard when my parents died first my dad and then my mum, my world like yours fell apart nothing else mattered anymore, it even change me a person i became bitter and still probably am, and at the exspense of that my husband had an affair, so thats another thing that has added to my problems and to be honest the affair is worse than my mum and dad dying he betrayed me and i have never betrayed him.......so keep positive and good luck

Answer 9

Everyone deals with death differently.
You may be in denial and your emotions and tears will follow in due time. Do not restrain from allowing your emotions to be displayed.
Life and relationships are the essence of life, so take time to reflect on your Grandma and remember all those wonderful memories.
God bless your family.

Answer 10

Sweetheart I am so sorry for your losses.

I would imagine you are somewhat in shock over the loss of your grandmother. And your mind is protecting your emotions. But it's ok to grieve. It really does help you with the lose.

When my maternal grandfather died I was devastated. He was very close to me. I couldn't go to the cemetery for years afterwards as I would always loose it at his grave. But I'm ok with it now.