My mom wants me to lose weight but I can't does that make me a failure?

Question

Hi there,
My mom wants me to lose weight (I'm 5 ft and 7 inch tall and weight 135 Ibs,17 yrs old) but I just can't.She keeps buying me clothes that are a number smaller than those I wear now but by each pound I lose I feel more and more exhausted.I usually study a lot and even during summer I'm quite busy with all sorts of activities and recently I keep feeling lack of energy which I do need.I asked my friends if they thought I should lose weight and they said I shouldn't but my mom...I don't want to fail her expectations,what should I do?

I'm sorry but I just can't choose a best answer since all of them have been extremely helpful!
Thank you people =)!

Answer 1

She needs to ease off.. you're average.. and as long as you are healthy you have no need to worry..

besides, you're only a failure if YOU want you to lose weight and you don't... don't stress about what others might think is ideal...

Answer 2

Honey, try being 5'7 and 218 pounds. I just don't think that you are overweight. I agree with your friends, you are not overweight. But I do understand about you not wanting to let your mom down. So what I suggest is to set a goal to loose "five" pounds for HER. As far as the lack of energy goes, hey it's summer and you are probably drained by the heat. So each night when it has cooled down outside, take a walk around the block. Cut back on the sodas and breads. With you being so young, I don't see it being too difficult to loose five pounds. I used to not always be overweight, but marriage, kids, stress and everything else that goes with getting older, got the best of me. But this April, I started walking and eating right. Now don't get me wrong, the eating right is perhaps the hardest part. But in April, I was 236 pounds. Most people might have lost more than me, because they would be taking diet pills and such, but me, I have done it all by will. The key to loosing weight is knowing how bad you want it. I never wanted it as bad as I do now and I'm happy. If your mother keeps on, then maybe you should talk to her. If you are happy the way you are, then that's all that matters. Even if you never loose the weight your mom wants you too, you are not a failure. Never think that about yourself.

Answer 3

If you're feeling a lack of energy, you're not getting the calories you need. And you're pretty much the picture of a healthy weight range. At your weight, you don't need a diet. There is a point at which they do more harm than good.

Try to talk to her about it. If she's often busy, ask her ahead of time and set a time to talk later. Then, if she says you're fat, tell her the truth--you're not. That you need to go on a diet? Tell her you don't. If she compares you to other girls, tell her you're not into stereotyping, or that you don't want/need to be like other girls, etc. Even better, tell her what's true for you. You know your mom the best, so you'll know what she'll think to ask before any of us do.

Make sure to bring your own opinions/problems into the talk--you feel exhausted + whatever else comes to mind. If it helps, think the conversation through before you actually talk with her, and answer all of the 'what ifs' that pop up. Hopefully she'll care enough to listen to your needs (and if not, you can always guilt-trip her into caring ;p jk, you probably won't need to, anyway).

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well the lack of energy you are feeling is because you are already thin enough. you are actually at a perfect weight for your height. My suggestion is to make a doctors appointment and have your doctor talk to your mom. No you are not a failure you are exactly where you need to be. You could also let your mom know that you have no energy and you are always tired. Remember, your body will tell you when something is wrong and it sounds like that is what it's doing. Seriously..call your doctor and maybe a professional opinion will help you and your mom

Answer 5

You should talk to your mom about this... maybe get an aunt or grandmother with you for support. If the pressure form your mom is making you weak and tired, it's just not worth it. It sounds like you have a fairly active busy life, which is good, perhaps you could concentrate on the idea that your fitness and general health is more important than being stick thin. Is your mom more concerned about how you look or your health? Maybe a chat with your doctor might help, giving you some ideas on how to cut down on your food without feeling ill. I think it's tragic these days that young girls feel so much pressure to look good and wear small clothes, but it's even worse when its coming from your mom. You need to explain to her how this is affecting you, hopefully she will understand and back off a bit. I am overweight, and my husband is small and thin.... he always used to say to me that that made him healthier than me. We done some tests at the hospital (fertility problems) and were were both astonished to discover that I am actually healthier than he is, so size doesnt always indicate health problems. You are still young, and have still got some growing and developing to do. How is your body going to cope with that if you're not eating enough? Anyway, 135lbs isnt bad at all for someone as tall as you. In my view, you'd be failing yourself if you let yourself become ill by not eating and worrying. Talk to your mom, tell her your concerns, and best of luck....

p.s. I have just checked your BMI (Body Mass Index), which for your weight and height is 20.67. If your BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9 you're an ideal weight for your height.

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with your weight. There's plenty wrong with your mother, and she's making that wrong your wrong. She's obviously insecure about herself, and is trying to make you fit into an image that she had for herself. She needs some therapy before she makes you need therapy. As far as you go, the only reason to put a teenager on a diet is if there is a medical need. In your case, you're 5'7" and 135. That's fantastic. You'd still look great with another 10lbs on you. There's no need for you to lose weight, just be comfortable in your own skin.

Answer 7

I have three words for you, Body Mass Index, or your BMI. If you lose any more than 10 more lbs you will be in danger of being under weight. Tell your mother that if she wants you to lose weight that she should be prepared to jeopardized your health.

You are at a very healthy weight for your height. You are at the low end of the normal weight which means you should be comfortable where you are.

Sit down and talk to her. Tell her what's going on, and tell her that she expects far too much out of you. Ask her if she's willing to risk your health so that you can be just a size smaller.

Answer 8

What do you want? I don't think you need to lose weight. That is entirely up to you though.
Don't worry about her expectations. Just tell her nicely that you are comfortable with your weight and you would rather not lose weight at this time.
Also ask her to let you shop for yourself, you are definitely old enough to pick out your own clothing. As long as you are healthy and not obese she shouldn't be worried.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

I don't think you are a failure. Have you checked with your family doctor to see if you actually need to lose weight. Do you exercise any? Are you physically fit.. Do you eat the right kinds of food or do you eat a lot of "fast food"? I believe if you answer all of these questions and correct the ones you are not doing right, you will see a difference. (I was a nurse for 40 years.) Also check your BMI. You may not need to lose any weight.

Answer 10

You are average weight for your height. Do you think you need to lose a few pounds? Ask your doctor or try doing a search on the Internet for weight & height charts. If you go to a gym, have your fat tested (BMI). If you are as active as you say, you are probably in a very healthy range. The number on the scale doesn't mean crap, it’s your fat %. You can weigh 120 and be 29% body fat and look like hell compared to someone who is 130 at 18% body fat. The only person who should feel like they failed will be your Mother when you end up in therapy.