hi....i'm a 17 yr old girl. sex is very painful for me.....my bf is too big for me. even proper lubrication doesn't do the trick. it takes some time for the pain to subside. i think i'm not very comfortable with sex, having lost my virginity recently. my bf says i don't seem to loosen up mentally and physically for it. he told me to try masturbation to lose my inhibitions. should i? the idea doesn't appeal to me. what am i to do? what do you think my problem could be? please help...
2007-08-02 02:51:25 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think he needs to do more foreplay with you. Also masturbation would probably help the situation. If it continues to be a problem, you should see your doctor, you could have a problem, because he is so large he may have ripped something. Good luck!
2007-08-02 02:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is fun, but not right for everyone. You can always try, and if you aren't amused, just stop.
Make sure that besides lubricant, you are turned on. Ask for plenty of foreplay, and if there is one thing you like a lot, say, "I'd love it if you'd do this before we have sex." And if he's worthy of you, he should oblidge.
Also, try different positions. Depending on how he's built and how you're built, other positions may feel better. (But remind him just because you're not facing him, doesn't mean he can act like it's porn.)
Let him know, and he should be willing to stop when it hurts. No matter how crazy his hormones are. Do something nice to him if you feel bad, but don't sacrifice for him.
If the pain continues, go see an ob/gyn. Maybe you have an infection. Or in rare cases women are allergic to semen.
2007-08-02 02:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are truely taken aback for the time being from this experience. Try to maintain some relaxation even from trying to think about it as much as you can. Until you get much proper about asiding these painful thoughts and may be after quite good lapse of time, you should suggest that your boy wont penetrate that harsh or may be be so gentle so as to lessen the previous shockingly experience. It's all accumilated in the thoughts so if psychological getting free then your physical parts would relax and get into the mood.
Have some time, no need to hurry.
2007-08-02 02:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sara007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He certainly seems to be putting all the blame on you. It also sounds as if he pressured you to have sex, which would cause no pain for him at all. He sounds like a selfish a$$hole who will continue to pressure you into things you may not want.
You can decide for yourself that as of right now, you will NOT live your life to make others happy (at the expense of your own happiness/well-being). Tell him to back off. My guess is that once he figures out he can't manipulate you any longer, he will probably find another girlfriend to control. I am proof that someone nice, smart, handsome, and sexy will come into your life (as my husband came into mine).
2007-08-02 02:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by ☺ . CIEL . ☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably not relaxing. If it hurt once you are expecting it to hurt so your muscles are tense. It will help if you get, er, a toy, and have some regular private play time (has to be penetration involved). You can go at your own pace, learn to enjoy it, and then you will be able to relax better. It really does help. Good luck! Don't do anything you don't enjoy. Sex should be fun and enjoyable, not painful.
2007-08-02 02:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by CNJRTOM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really a problem for teenagers to do that but listen first thing that u should wait for one more year till u attain ur majority second thing leaving ur boy friend is not solution at all since next one may be more painful for u, third thing , it takes some time to be habitual of sex at your age fourth thing try to spread your legs in leisure time and put some artificial thing to feel comfortable for sex
2007-08-03 01:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is right on one point there; you don't exactly seem MENTALLY prepared for sex. You've got to be completely relaxed to enjoy it, and clearly you aren't. The more you pressure yourself, the less fun the whole experience will be. If sex is a problem for you, just stop; simple as that!
2007-08-02 02:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will/should get better. If it doesn't see an MD. Have him engage in lots of foreplay. Use positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration and the level of action. Be on top, for example, and ask him to be still. The missionary position is the worse for this problem. Others will be better. Maturbation won't help this although it will teach you how to climax.
2007-08-02 02:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your problem is the wrong partner.
He needs to take the time and make an effort to make sure you are ready, instead of stupidly (and selfishly) suggesting YOU do all the work first.
2007-08-02 02:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by Kella G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, first off, no such thing as too big. if it hurts still with a lot of lube then you may need to go to the doctor or the local health department to make sure nothing is wrong.
2007-08-02 02:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋