ive been at my current job for the past 5 years. during that time, i have been divorced, met some financial difficulties, etc etc. We have parties here at work for different people who are celebrating events such as baby showers and marriages, new jobs etc. they want you to give $10-20 for each event. well, me being a single parent, its sometimes hard to give that much money when we are having parties every month (sometimes 2 times). the girl in charge of the party planning seems to catch an attitude if i offer to give $5.00 or whatever i can.
it really offends me because i have been here since our business has opened and i have yet to have a party or any type of celebration and some people here have had 2-3 parties. i have gotten a divorce:no party, had some hardships: no party, gotten my hair cut : no party!! i prob wont remarry or have any more kids so therefore there will be no party for me. but i will have spent $1000 on parties here...
am i being selfish?
2007-08-02 01:28:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Not at all. Just don't participate in the parties if you don't have the money to contribute to it.
2007-08-02 01:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by joyce 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This may not help because I don't have good solid advice, but I did go through the same things. A few years back, while at a job for almost 5 years, they did the same thing and more! I however, had no children, wasn't married, and I didn't fit into the "groups" Most of these people, most women, were married with children and were treated differently, as well as receiving special treatment for coming and going as they pleased "always for the children" yet I overhead many times them laughing behind the managers back they made it up to get out early or lie and say their children were sick. It is what it is and there isn't too much you can do if you are one of the few or the only one who doesn't or can't give much. There's always that "b*tch" who gives attitude in the way you have to deal with, if not more ways. I am sorry for your situtation, but unless there is a manager above her you can speak with, like I did once, who understood I was single, living alone and supporting myself, unlike the other 99% of the office who had double income families, she then started handling the collections for special events, parties, baby showers, etc. It put a stop to the "b*tch" gossiping about me because giving $20 a pop all the time was hard, and trying to extort me. lol
2007-08-02 08:38:48 · answer #2 · answered by queensgirl1975 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think so not when you are having financial difficulties. Financial problems can make it hard to want to give money for parties and such when every penny counts towards your survival. Parties seem so trivial when your struggling to make ends meet.
Maybe take this girl off to the side and set her straight on the facts, because being a single parent is difficult when you have to make every penny count towards your children's well being. She may not get the fact that with your being a single parent it is a challenge to keep everything together when every dollars means yours and your children's survival.
While ten to twenty dollars may not seem like a lot to her, it is a lot to you when your a single parent with limited funds. She needs to be made to understand how it really is for you.
I'm sure that she just isn't stopping to look at the big picture of how it is for you.
God bless you!
2007-08-02 08:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by Cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being unreasonable or selfish. I hate work parties where you feel obligated to donate money or make food or any of that. I'm sorry, but I go to work to WORK, not to sit around and have parties all day and chit chat with co-workers. It's not like I don't like the people I work with or I'm a total workaholic. I just don't think you should be forced to participate or donate to others at work. I think it's unprofessional.
Also, I'm in the same boat you are. I don't have the luxury of being able to donate money to whoever is having a party for whatever reason. I have to worry and focus on how I'm going to find the money to pay my bills. It irritates me when I am forced to throw money at people that don't/won't/can't do the same for me. It's not fair.
2007-08-02 10:27:34 · answer #4 · answered by Not quite perfect 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK so they haven't given you a party and I understand how you feel, but you do have a choice and can say NO or all I have at this time is (fill in blank with amount) or you can continue to do what you have been doing and feel bad. No one has the right to make you fell bad because you either can't afford or choose not to participate. I only give to those parties that I truly know the person and like them, and if someone says something to me I tell them it's my choice not theirs.
2007-08-02 08:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by oma_30701 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not at all, if people have an attitude, then dont contribute anything! then they will know not to keep bothering u with their stupid parties. i think ur job is being excessive. the only time there should be parties would be for a baby or bridal shower as well as a going away party. all others are just plain stupid. (if everyone celebrated everyones birthday every yar u would go broke, let them bring the cake if they choose to celebrate it witht heir co workers)
2007-08-02 10:25:55 · answer #6 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish. Sometimes, even when I could probaby spare $20 bucks, I don't give it away to people... I just save it. It's not good to spend all that you have. There should never be an exact dollar amount required for a gift. That is just greediness. Gifts should come from the heart, and if you are not able to or just don't want to give, no one should fault you for it.
2007-08-02 09:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by lookoutthewindow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you are not simply explain to the girl in charge of the parties that you are not able to afford to contribute 10-20 dollars because that is a pair of shoes for your kid,and since the ex does not pay child support you have a household to support . I think they will understand and if she does not then simply dont participate in the party .good luck .
2007-08-02 08:34:24 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess not. Being a single parent is pretty hard especially on the financial part, but if you're financially stable then they can probably call you selfish. Consider your financial situation, think about your priority(kid/s or parties), answer your own question
2007-08-02 08:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by sprtsLOVER 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think that is selfish at all. I find that women who get married and have kids get all the parties, while others who haven't talked a guy into marriage or 'surprised" a guy with a child go unnoticed.
2007-08-02 13:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by diggyblue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish if you can not afford it then you cant afford it. If she has a attitude and start harassing you then go to your hr department. Also do not go to the party's if you can not afford it, because not paying full price could make you look bad if people do not know you.
2007-08-02 10:29:56 · answer #11 · answered by whitehawk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋