Iv known this guy for about 2 years.
Last night i was at his house, i had been drinking quite abit. and things got out of hand. One thing led to another... and i lost it to him.
I feel disgusted and gross.
At the time it felt good
but i woke up this morning and i cant believe i did it.
I think i hate myself, i wasnt in love with him
Im christian and i belived in no sex before marrage.
Iv ruined it.
have i ruiened my life?
im question everything now
is havin sex so sacred?
does losing my virgity to someone i love make me have no self respect?
IM SO CONFUSED
2007-08-02 01:20:36 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I noticed that you are a christian. God forgives all sins. All you gotta do is say "God please forgive me for what i have done" and he will do it. When God forgives your sins, he no longer remembers it. (that's from a Scripture in the bible, I just don't remember where.) You may still feel guilty and bad, but you shouldn't because God has already forgave you. And guess what , You are a virgin again.
2007-08-02 01:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by Imdatchick 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Having sex is sacred; it isn't the end of the world though you're just scared and confused because the way in which you lost it isn't how you had imagined it or what you would have preferred. But for the overwhelming majority of us though that tends to be the case. You just have to make the best of the situation.
The best you can do now is seek God's help and get your relationship back with him to where it should be and take it from there. He can forgive you for what you've done, but can you forgive yourself for it? Are you going to allow yourself to continue to be in shame for what happened or are you going to continue to carry yourself as a Christian and hold onto those values? Even if you're pregnant by this guy, or you contract a disease from him or whatever happens, you have to know that God can get you through whatever situation you end up in.
All that this is telling you, is that you're human and you can sin just like everyone else. But that doesn't mean that you do not stop trying to live right and that your life is over. The ideal was to be in a union where you two would have lost it to each other after marriage, on your wedding night or at some point after. That is a very rare and unique situation though; these days that happens from a secondary aspect whereas two people may have to someone else years ago but were able to stay in a relationship and courtship, and withstand not doing so until they have become married. That is still special and unique on it's own, and that is still something that you can aspire to at this point.
Perhaps this isn't the guy for you, if you were drinking and your thoughts not so clear he shouldn't have done this to begin with. That says a lot, particularly seeing that you were a virgin at the time. Yeah it always feels good at the time, that much will never change, both because it does physically and also because one some level we feel as though we're really close to someone and sharing a special part of ourselves with them, though that isn't always the case. But as you have said, in the morning you have your regrets as to whether or not it was really worth it, but you have to understand there are going to be times that you feel that way, in other relationships, even in your own marriage that can be the case, that's just par the course when you open yourself up to someone in that way that is what being vulnerable does to people. Society tells us that we can do it without that vulnerability but we really can't, we can numb it, and psyche ourselves out about it but we are going to have to pay the price eventually. Stop beating yourself about it and move on.
2007-08-02 08:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are religous then it is going to be a big deal for you. Especially as you say it was with someone you didn't love. I feel really sorry for you. You may want to talk about it with a close friend or church member for comfort. Unfortunatly there is nothing you can do now. (Apart from going to a Doctor in case you are pregnant or have caught a STD) Learn from your mistakes and make sure you don't get too drunk again and do something you may regret. Look to the future now and try not to dwell on the past even though it is something you will never forget!
2007-08-02 08:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, well, sort of, I lost my virginity to someone I loved, but I understand being a christian and no sex before marriage, honestly you didn't ruin your life, just set things right with God and ask for forgiveness.. Everything will be okay, and just don't do it again, if you can help it..
My boyfriend and I are trying not to have sex, and live for God, but we've messed up, part of the issue is, neither one of us where virgins, and it's hard for us. You made a humanally mistake, just keep trying, and pray..
2007-08-02 08:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by Mercuria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I know you're very young. I'm a Christian too and lost my virginity at 15 to someone I didn't love either! Don't worry you're not damned or ruined! All humans make mistakes (and God knows it and forgives); its what we do with them that matters. Next time you decide to go all the way, just make sure both of you are in love with each other at the time.
2007-08-02 08:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by Carol C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing some-if not most-women do is make themselves seem stupid. Virginity is not important, you didn't lose anything. It was something you enjoyed, that's what the body was made for. Do you think guys whine "I lost my virginity!! Oh my god!! I feel so embarrashed!" NOOOO! So, why a woman should feel that way? We are equal you know in everything. About your religion, you can't get criticized by it. It is common for christians to have sex. The fact that it was your choice to keep it after marriage was your right(though stupid and I'm sorry for saying that), but last night you obviously made another decision, which you enjoyed. So, stop regreting what you did, no-one is gonna criticize you. And in order to stop criticizing yourself you should decrease the virginity's importance in you mind. Do you think you changed suddenly? You are the same with more experiences. And experiences are good, because with few of them you will reach a point of your life that you will realise you haven't lived, felt, enjoyed.
2007-08-02 08:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by Ria 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Depends on your age. Hopefully, you're at least 16-years-old. Anything younger than 16-years-old is a bit trashy. It's special when you truly love someone and you lose your virginity to someone you love. It sounds like you loved him and were with him for a long time, so you are a perfectly healthy good girl. You have morals and values and it shows. Christians are not perfect. Keep your religion and if you don't want sex again until marriage...fine. If not, it's not the end of the world.
2007-08-02 08:24:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why was a Christian getting drunk with some guy?
You need to cut the dramatics and examine your beliefs. You're life is not over, but your ethics and spirituality need to be redefined. This is a much bigger issue than having a broken hymen.
Your core beliefs (religious or not) should influence ALL aspects of your life.
2007-08-02 08:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by No Body 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel so bad about it. Sex is so important, but you can't hate yourself for what happened. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm sure that you have heard that a lot of times, but it's true. Tell the guy that you really didn't mean to sleep with him, that it was just a mistake. When you find the man you love, the man that you wanted to give your virginity to in the first place, I think you will forget about it, and be happy that you found him. Good luck, I've not much else to tell you, but I hope you feel better!
2007-08-02 08:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by blondechapter 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Go talk to someone about how you feel. Make sure it is someone you trust and that will not take advantage of the situation. A fellow church member would be good. If you don't have a church get one. I'll be here waiting for the results. People love you. And not just for s*x.
2007-08-02 08:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by green3ch 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
maybe dont drink so much next time and learn to control yourself.
yes virginity is a special thing and you wasted it.
but thats no need to beat yourself up.
yes it was a mistake.
just think twice next time even if you were drunk you can control yourself.
did you use a condom? if not go to the docter and all that stuff.
but if you cant remember go to the docter anyway.
just next time wait for the right person instead of doing it with someone you dont love.
2007-08-02 08:29:25 · answer #11 · answered by Skye-dez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋