How do u respond when someone says, "How are you?"?

Question

Etiquette guides always say that 'how do u do' is not a question, it's just a greeting. so u should respond by saying 'how do u do' again. but practically i have seen everyone answering ,"I m fine, thank you". What is correct?

Answer 1

True, it is traditionally used as a greeting and not a question. However, etiquette changes over time along with society. Anything that causes another person to feel awkward is a breach of etiquette. So if a person says to me, "How do you do?" and I respond in kind, that's likely to make them feel like I'm just mimicking them, as most people are not aware that this was traditionally just a greeting.

To the majority of people asking this, it's a polite (and rather expected) question. Of course, they don't want a real answer (ie, my girlfriend left me, my dog bit me, had plumbing problems this morning, etc.) so there's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm fine," "doing good," or "hanging in there."

Incidentally, I feel that asking how a person is (or at least giving someone that impression) but not really caring is rude. I never, ever greet someone with "How do you do?" or "How are you?" unless I know them and really want to hear what they have to say. I use the tried and true, "Hello" (or "hey" for informal settings) to greet a stranger. If someone says "How are you doing?" I always say, "Can't complain. And you?" because etiquette demands that I reciprocate. But I still think it's a little useless, especially on days that I feel horrible and am trying not to even think about how I'm doing.

Answer 2

It all depends on how well do you know the greeter. A stranger doesn't care at all how do you do, so respond the same way, "How do you do?", you are being polite respectful and open for options on how to continue the chat.
If you are at work or school and you know the people but you are not that close to them then the answer is easy "fine, good or very good, how about you?" Polite, shows sympathy and a part of your community without disturbing it.
If you care dear for the greeter then you tell them truthfully how you feel but don't be a drag all the time unless you need to talk about something that is hurting you and you need help or advise.

Answer 3

If somebody says "How are you?", then they are asking how you are, which calls for an answer (fine, ok, good, bad..etc..).
The "How do you do" in which you respond with the same "how do you do", is only a figure of speech, much like saying "hello" or What's up", but I don't believe it is proper, given the meaning of the words and how they are used in the English language. So, "how do you do?" can either be slang for "what's up" or "hello", or can be taken literally as a question.

Answer 4

well if it is just a greeting iguess you should ask how are you doing? But i know what you mean! Most of the time people say "good" or fine. Even though they may not even feel that great! they still say that! ???????????

Answer 5

Fine, thanks. And you?

Just because it's considered a general greeting and not a true inquiry doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort to respond appropriately.

Answer 6

The proper response to the greeting is I'm well, thank you. Sometimes followed by "and you?". That's all there is to it.

Answer 7

One of the great things about Western culture is that you can say anything you want as a reply to that greeting...

Or even make up kooky, slangy, or irritatingly cute rhymes as a polite reply...

Welcome to the Land of the "Cutesy Pie Reply..."

(see how I rhymed it..?!?)

Answer 8

I typically give them a complete medical run down so they aren't inclined to bug me with such trivial concerns a second time. It's quite helpful and you feel better after.

♥Blessed Be♥
♥=∞

Answer 9

I sometimes say, "I'm feeling terrible" just to see if the person is actually listening.....haha

Answer 10

reply "how do u do" is correct. It is proper British English.