The mother left as soon as he was born. She said she'd be ready, but she freaked out as soon as she saw him.
I love my son and I've tried being sensible about everything, but I mean, I can't just shove my son into the kitchen cupboard whenever I have a girl coming.
I can't always find a nanny, besides, is it wrong to introduce him to the girl after several dates?
He's a quiet kid anyway (doesn't scream for attention and yell all the time or anything like that).
Any advice?
2007-08-01 23:03:02 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, I was in the same situation, only with twins.
Here’s my advice from experience:
Introduce your son up front and make it well known that he is the center of your life. In doing so you will not be wasting time with phony friends and finicky females who have a problem with him.
There are plenty of self assured ladies who will enjoy your company and accept that you have other responsibilities. If you are as lucky as I you will find a soul mate that is proud to be in your life.
2007-08-02 01:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by KOHA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been a single mom, well pretty much since after the conception...LOL.... I understand where you are coming from. I was worried my whole pregnancy that I would never find a true love because of no one wanting a pre-made family. Boy was I wrong. There are decent people out there. You may be going after the wrong women is all. Tell the girl up front that you have a son you have raised from birth by yourself. Let her know there is no baby momma drama and also that NO you are not trying to find a momma for your son either. Show some pictures and include daddy hood in your first conversations. Make sure she understands your situation on the very first date. Make sure if you keep seeing her that you include your time with her and your son. Go do things all together. I wouldn't keep introducing him to every girl that comes alon. It may take time to find the right girl. You have your.....uh....needs....as far as certain things go. Don't introduce booty calls. It will be confusing to him in the long run. Good luck with that. There are decent women out there, just be open and honest up front before getting tooo into her. Get a feel for her personality first.
2007-08-01 23:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot see why any woman would be turned off by this. If she likes you to begin with then you having a child should make no difference. Of course it does depend on what sort of age group you are in yourself...if you are really young i.e. teens, then you may have problems as a lot of girls will be immature and too young at that age. If you are a little older however then you shouldn't have a problem finding a nice girl who loves you and your son.
In fact, if anything I think a lot of girls would find a single dad attractive - it shows you have a caring, loving side to you and that you are not some lazy sod that constantly dissappears with his mates out to the pub etc! You should be upfront about your son whenever you meet someone new - if they don't like it then tell them where to go. I can assure you, you will find someone...probably when you least expect it.
Best of luck to you and your son. Your doing an excellent job :)
2007-08-01 23:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Showaddywaddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard finding a girl when you have a child. I myself had a boyfriend who had a baby and the mother was still in the picture which made it very hard for me. In your case as the mother is not in the picture, it may be easier for girls as they don't need to worry about your ex. I personally would not introduce any women to your son until you know that it is going somewhere or just introduce them as your 'friend'. It is important that any new partner is happy with you having a son and joins you on days out with your son so he gets used to her being around. You find its easier finding a girlfriend who is also a single parent or an older woman who doesn't mind taking on the responsibility. Good luck with finding the perfect girl.
2007-08-02 02:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by pink&sparkly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have some sort of baggage and yours is just out in the open. Many women are not at a place in their life where they want to have kids..they are focusing on education, careers, and other things (especially if you're young). They know if they get serious with you, being mother-like will come with the territory. So the normal things you gradually coax out of a person over a few dates kind of gush out into the open with you. Which may give you fewer dates...but look at the bright side...you won't be wasting time with people you would have found out eventually weren't right for you and your son.
2007-08-02 02:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a good guy and sound like a great dad chicks! I have a boy too, 6, and am a single mom by choice. No you shouldn't give up on dating. Im in a relationship now and yea it was hard not having a sitter and trying to see eachother but he understood and was patient and u will find that too babes!!
My boyf also thought he wouldn't meet anyone else, he has two kids of his own but we found eachother and it has all worked out!!
Don't lose heart, can your mum help out if u went out the odd nite? And do her parents help u out? Not a bad idea to ask. Also if you try to meet other parents in your area they might b able to suggest a good babysitter!
I wouldn't introduce your son to girls to early, wait til u feel something special with someone before that happens if u can.............good luck chicks, Dolly x x
2007-08-01 23:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Dolly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be up front from the get-go that you've got a one year old at home because any girl that is dating you is ultimately also dating your son. You are a package deal. Don't wait a couple of dates and then spring it on them- especially with one so young. Because any girl dating you will have to be comfortable caring and dealing with a little kid and most girls don't like having that surprise responsiblity after only a couple of dates. Good luck on finding that special someone who is just right for you and your son!
2007-08-01 23:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i don't think it will be the best impression to show your kid in evry first date. It's cool to say you have a kid but then, to bring the baby to every meeting? If i was the girl i'll think you are too broke to get a nanny, or too hand tight to use one and no lady will love that kind of guy. Second if the kid shows on every date and i was the girl, i'll ask hey who i'm i dating the kid or you. If i was in the mood we cannot even make out as the baby might just start crying.
I know you love your kid and it is wonderful that shows responsibilty and ladies love that but when it comes to this stuff, get your act straight play the right cards and who knows you might just find yourself a mum with one of them dates.
Tens point pls
2007-08-01 23:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by heisleo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are being a very responsible father and putting your child first, which is 100% right.
However, of course you want to meet someone special, don't give up, always be honest that you have a child and believe me a lot of decent women would be interested in you even though you have a child. Dating is never easy and sometimes we have to date a lot before we meet someone we really click with.
You are right in not introducing your child to every woman you meet. Keep up the good work and I am sure you will meet someone who will make you and your son very happy.
2007-08-01 23:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by scorpionbabe32 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. If I were single, I would love to meet someone with kids. The right girl will love your child first and you will come second because she will know that the only way to have you is through your child. Always let a girl know up front that you are a single dad. This will shove the wrong people away and you will save yourself from dealing with their crap later.
2007-08-01 23:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋