So this harelip is out of work, every time he goes in for an interview they say "we'll be in touch" and never are. He's beside himself and desperate for a job, he answers an add for a door to door fruit salesman in desperation. He goes to the interview and tells the manager "Wook I gnow I can sell sees oranges mister" the manager stammers, "pwease I weally, weally need a shob" so the guy hires him, he loads his vehicle and heads for his route.
He's really good at it, his passion and enthusiasm is evident. With his last box he heads for a very nice large house on a corner lot. He knocks on the door, a lady in a see through dressing robe opens the door and says "Yes?" He goes into his pitch- "Jes Ma'am I'm selling oranges and their.." She say quick get in I hear someone coming" pulls him inside and shuts the door. She turns to him and says "Now where were we?" he starts again- "I'm selling these oranges, zay're weally, weally firm." she grabs his hand places it on her quite perky c cup breast and says "Are they as firm as this?" he thinks as he squeezes and says "OHHH I don't know zees oranges are weally, weally firm, but I don't think they're as firm a zees. But zees are weally, weally juicy..." she grabs his hand and places it on her girly bits and says "Are they as juicy as this?" he nags his head as he feels her and says "OHHH sees oranges are weally, weally juicy, but I don't think they are juicy as this." She says "Mister I'll buy those oranges if you'll just tell me what the best part of my body is."
He thinks for a moment and says "It's your ears." "My ears?" she says. Hey says "Yep, you remember when you said you heard somebody coming?" she nods yes he says "IT WAS ME!"
2007-08-01 22:19:11 · 5 answers · asked by Brad 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ya nice one
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
2007-08-01 22:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by gangrekalve k 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This one is really old: A guy with a wooden eye reluctantly goes to a dance but he's very self conscious about his eye. He decides to ask a girl with a hair-lip to dance. He finally gets up enough courage and goes over to her and says. Would you like to dance?
She looks up at him and says " would I!"
He screams "HAIR-LIP!" and storms away.
2007-08-02 06:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by ericbryce2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha b-rad, you have such a gweat sence of humor!!!!! Star 4 u B-rad.
2007-08-02 10:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by cass_muffin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA?....oh okay..hahhahahahaha....almost lost it..hahahaha
2007-08-02 05:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow didn't see tat coming....i like it
2007-08-02 21:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋