so afraid of rejection and being yourself with them, then them rejecting you?, it holds such a fear that you keep delay talking with them..id love to, but i have such a low self opinion, can get clingy, and often get stumped for anything to say, im so scared these things might reveal themselves and theyll reject me.
im a 30 year old borderline pd sufferer whos never made a single friend in life or ever been in relashionship....ive had an exceptionally traumatic past....and now i wait for therapy.
does anyone know how to get over this specific problem though?
2007-08-01 21:56:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Why are you scared? No one can see you. You can dress any way you want or not at all. It's like I am the most beautiful and the most physical perfect body in the world. Now you tell me I'm not. I say prove it. Without seeing me you can not prove it, therefore I am what I write.
2007-08-02 15:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Coop 366 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone in the world could give you advice, but it ultimately means nothing. I know by me answering this, you could say, "well, what are YOU doing then?", but you will be able to see what I'm going to say for yourself and you already know the answer to your problem...
Nobody can help you but you! We can all prescribe methods and techniques. That's what all these idiots in the field of psychiatry do, but they are artificial. Anything that you try to 'apply' to yourself is doomed to failure from the start, because it is not natural. Who is doing the applying? The same person that is going through the hell! It is a self defeating operation. The truth of the matter is not trying to become something you are not (which is what you are hoping these outside influences will do), but to become so entrenched in what you are, which is clearly someone much like myself, who feels and thinks too much, that you accept yourself and that in itself will have a dramatic effect on your relationships. It is because you wish to become something other than you are that the problem arises at all. Here is the crux of your state of mind: The flight away from what you are to what you wish to become IS the problem itself, because there is a conflict between 'what is' and 'what should be'. The 'what is' is your reality - the sensitivity, the fears, the worries, the past trauma and the 'what should be' is the ideal you have set for yourself, which is unreal. You wish to become assertive, accepted, liked, etc... and the striving for the ideal creates tension and conflict and thus more pain. Drop the ideal! Seeing this in itself, not merely intellectually, but in your guts, will change 'what is'. This is easier said than done, I know. You just have to be passively aware when you get tense and stressed, etc and press on. I do not wish to disillusion you or make you worse by telling you these things, but we are who we are and we should not try to FORCE ourselves to be anything different. You will always be a sensitive individual (thank God!) and don't think - unless you succumb to drugs or alcohol - that your personality is going to undergo any great transformation, because that's not going to happen. What it involves is the old Chinese cliche: A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. In order to 'deal' with people and integrate them into your life, you just have to take the plunge and talk to them! The dichotomy is that the first step is also the hardest. Good luck and remember another cliche too, but still so full of truth: No-one is better than you unless YOU think they are. Don't think it and they're not.
2007-08-01 22:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about anxiety meds. I dont really know what else to say. I think you need to learn to reallly love yourself, and know that no matter what there is someone out there for everyone. If you do not love yourself, then how can you expect people to like you. I can read someone like that and feel their negative energy when they are like that and it just gives them a bad vibe. Then people really wont like you or want to be around you. You need to gain confidence in yourself. As far as you gettin clingy...please dont. Thats gonna scare people away. I am kinda like that too. Im married and been with my husband since I was 15 (now 25) and Ive always been clingy, but almost lost my hubby over it, lol. So I had to change. Re evaluate your self worth and learn to love you.
2007-08-01 22:12:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to make friends online. It's great to chat the way we do here, but there are people from all walks of life outside your door. You need to get out - exercise, go do something to interact with people - the library, a store or park. Something. You have to learn to overcome your fears, manage stress, take care of your health and get into therapy.
.
2007-08-02 00:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep in mind you can always delete them as contacts or friends online elasily with no problem or conflict. in reality....outside the computer, it's a little trickier
2007-08-01 22:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by popcorncuddler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i have myspace www.myspace/claporte13 add me if ya wanna talk iv been trough alot of crap...im only 15 though so if ur some stalker killer...dont bother
2007-08-01 22:10:14 · answer #6 · answered by Est.1992 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guy,that`s unhappy. 1If it`s genuine don`t complication approximately that basically say positive issues and(they don`t be responsive to you)won`t delete you 2If it particularly is fake(it particularly is greater possibly)i inform you to get a existence and stop imaging issues dude!
2016-11-11 00:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the only answer is to cut yourself like a little emo.
2007-08-01 22:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by bpm_255 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't be scared!
2007-08-02 01:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by x-Happy Go Lucky-x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋