I was with my daughters dad for over a year and were engaged. I am in the military and he had to transfer when i was 3 months preg. Then 2 months after he left he was causing more stress than helping so i decided to end it. Now my daughter, who is amazing by the way, who is 3 mos old now and he wont even let me send him pics or videos of her. I keep tryin and trying but the last time i asked him again he said "I already fuc*ing told u i dont wanna see her". What or when should I stop trying? I dont know what to tell her when she asks me. What do you think I should say to her...I know its a long way away but I'm still concerned! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!
2007-08-01 21:31:45 · 8 answers · asked by AMP2084 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sad, super sad. What a total ******! Anyway, I would just enjoy her for yourself. AND, I know it's hard to do it, because there is probably still feelings there between you and him, but I would get child support from him. Force him to help.. (easier said then done, I want to do this, but the feelings between us are still there & I can't bring myself to..)
You need help supporting her, and he chose to have sex with you. And also, if he doesn't even want to **see** her, then he's freakin selfish. I'd make him pay child support and every single month when he has to make a payment, he will be thinking about her, and he will probably end up wanting to see what he's paying for.
Don't let him see her, don't send him pics, especially if he replies with "I already fu*king told you I didn't want to see her".. he's probably scared he'll become attached to her~ but I can't believe he didn't even want to see her. He'll most likely come around... I hope he does...
I would be glad that you don't have to split your time without her. With him being such a jerk, it would be really hard to let her go visit her daddy for the weekend or something like that.
I know she's such a joy & you want to tell everyone- especially the man that helped create her, what a shame that you can't do this.
I hope you find someone better to be her daddy.. but tell her the truth, that it didn't work out between you two, and she's welcome to contact him- but you've tried.. If I were you, I'd try to contact him later down the road as it may be a little soon now. He might care more when she starts to develop her own personality, and doesn't stink! (men don't like diapered babies lol)
Anyway, I totally admire you for being in the military and having a child, what a difficult thing to do! Good luck & enjoy your bundle of joy- it only gets better!!
2007-08-01 21:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by natalie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop trying now. You can't force him to care but the time may come that he does, so always leave the door open. When your daughter is older and asks about her father, make clear that she's welcome to write him but that daddy is troubled and if he doesn't write back, it's not her it's just that he's always had some personal issues - don't go into detail. Hope that helps. All you can really do is be there for her and never ever close that door because if you do, you will be the one resented in the end.
2007-08-02 04:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lex 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop trying now! He's the one who is missing out. If he's ever ready to be a father, he'll come to you. But don't force yourself or your child on him. It's his choice to make. When your daughter gets old enough, you'll tell her that her mother loves her dearly and was both her mommy and daddy. But don't worry about that until it gets closer to that time. You never know if he'll change his mind by then. All you can do know is be the best mother you can be! Hope everything works out. I have a friend in the same situation...
2007-08-02 08:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Mommy of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying NOW...If a parnt wants no contact, let them go...It would be far more stressful for your child to have a dad one second, then not se him again for 2 years, then have him show up again....You don't need his help or his money... There's a great man out there somewhere who will LOVE being full time dad to your daughter.
2007-08-02 10:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by maccrew6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
F*ck him! I'm sorry to sound so rude but really... HIS LOSS. You and, most importantly, your daughter deserve better. She's really young. Don't worry about him. Go on with your life and maybe you'll find a good man who you will fall in love with who will also adore your child. Be choosy though... there are some creeps out there.
My Dad married my Mom when my older sister was nearly 2 and adopted her like his own... and went on to have me and my younger sister with my Mom. He is my older sisters Dad... the only one she's ever known... and everything worked out for the best. Her biological father was a jerk... like your ex.
You'll be fine. I promise. Let that loser go and focus on being happy, just you and your little girl for now.
All the best!
2007-08-02 04:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ava 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he in the military also...? If he is I would call his commanding officer. See what the army thinks of him not helping with his daughter..
2007-08-02 07:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell with him... he will experience his own regret one day. Let your daughter have the chance of a Daddy who LOVES her Mom, and her!
2007-08-02 09:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Problem Child♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did push him away. for many men this is a psychological wall. they think that because you pushed them away, your daughter will do the same. i would wait till she older before you try again. good luck
2007-08-02 04:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋