My boyfriend &I have been dating for 3years. I just finally admitted to my family that I have a boyfriend. &they made it clear enough to let me know that they "hate" me. See, My family isn't the perfect family. Actually,no ones family is perfect,but believe me my family is beyond normal. It's easy to tell that my family has problems.. financially too.. My parents never talk to me.. &it took me this long to realize they arent going to change. They just tell me what to do, and not in a "nice" way..but by yelling. My eldest brother even told me they werent going to change.They plan on making me brake up with my boyfriend..But you know that feeling when you just "know"..I know he's the one...I love him so much. He's been there whenever I needed to vent from this little thing called "life",progress on my religion,and took me out from my misery..I would never want to lose him, three years and I wouldnt trade it for the world. I just dont know what to do or how to make my family understand..
2007-08-01 19:35:06 · 22 answers · asked by lenazile 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your parents dont hate u ....GET THAT POINT LOUD AND CLEAR.. they mean well.. and 13 its only your hormones talkin... trust me at 13 no kid can claim to think rationally... and u ben with him since the time u were 10.. did u think u made him your boyfriend thinking rationallyy...
i will tell u something right now all u care about is rebelling about your parents... Just remeber this saying " the day u realise your parents are right , your kids will say u are wrong.... listen kiddo ... your parents mean well.. its their job to protect u... nothing or no one is perfect... but they are trying.. u are only 13 .. u have a long life ahead.. whats the rush.. when u are old enough and if this guy is still around u will know he is the one ???{}
2007-08-01 19:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by who ?? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This isn't what you want to hear but you are too young to know what you want!!! Only 13 years old!! You aren't even 18 years old and many 18 year olds have no idea what they want out of life.
I understand that this guy was probably there for you when times were hard because it doesn't seem like you've got the best family life. It's good that you had an outside support. But I get the impression you mistakenly believe having this boyfriend forever will somehow eradicate the problems you are experiencing with your family.
I'm sorry to hear that your family seems really set in their ways. At your age, having that awareness is very perceptive and it's good to see that you wish there was progress. But mentioning to your family that "he is the one" won't help, because they will get the impression that you are choosing him over them. And right now at your age, you shouldn't be making those kinds of choices.
Have you ever talked to an aunt, uncle, or cousin about this? Maybe having someone else in the family try to intervene or at least talk to your parents about your concerns will ease some of the problems.
It seems like your family could do with some family therapy. Your parents seem to take their stress out on you unnecessarily, and possibly feel betrayed by your admittance to having a boyfriend; your brother probably has given up and doesn't even care anymore because he also feels nothing can change. I really think talking to a relative who you trust and will make a good mediator will really help with this.
But don't think that having a boyfriend will help solve anything, or that you two will always be together. I think it's wonderful you are able to pull through this with someone you care so deeply about but everyone grows up and grows apart.
2007-08-02 02:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what it is like to be your age and "in love." But you still have so much living to do and betraying your family for your boyfriend is somewhat foolish. No matter how dysfunctional your family may seem, they love you and they are only concerned for you because they care. You never know how your life may turn out and maybe they will be the ones to prevent you from making the biggest mistake of your life. I know it is difficult to not have your family accept your life choices especially when you only want their blessing. For the time being you need to sit down with your parents and discuss the issue. Find out what it is that really bothers them about you having a boyfriend. Being able to carry on a mature conversation will not only open doors of communication but will help you to understand your parents feelings and vice versa.
2007-08-02 03:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by stacey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This thing called "life" LOL sweetie at 13 you don't have a clue about life,love or anything else. Be grateful you have a family who at least cares enough to yell. Enjoy being 13 and let life issues come later you will regret them soon enough. If he is the "one" he will still be there for you when you turn 18 and when you graduate college and support you decision to make something out of yourself. What do you want to be when you grow up?
2007-08-02 02:53:54 · answer #4 · answered by Country Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you are just 13. You have your whole life ahead of you! You need to get your future in order before you even think of boyfriends. If you do not get your education, get your savings to a good amount and have a good job before you make a major commitment, you are just heading for a disaster... Stay friends with your man, just do not go too far before it is too late. My mother is a librarian in an elementary school. She told me once that there was a 13 yr. old that was expecting a baby.... Just getting into 8th grade. I have a 3 1/2 yr. old boy. He is my pride and joy! BUT, he does take a lot of my time. He makes me laugh, and sometimes VERY ANGRY.. I am glad that I never had him while I was in School. I would have NEVER made it! Your parents only want what is best for you. They are not mad that you have a boyfriend, they just want you to wait to have a boyfriend. In years to come, they probably will be very glad that he is your boyfriend when you are 18. Just do not rush into boyfriend - girlfriend relationship. Wait until you are least 18. Have fun with life, get your education, be very smart, then get into a relationship. Your parents love you and do not want you to mess up your life like a lot of pregnant girls have with their now nonexistent ex boyfriends who will not take care of their babies.
2007-08-02 02:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by rle102669 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, your story sounds a lot like mine and my ex (notice how i say ex) I know you're probably gonna hate me but you're only 13 and the mentality you have now will not be the same as when you grow up. I'm just saying to be open minded. Your family will not change right now cuz you're only 13. But they will. If you trully love him and you feel like he's the one then you will prove them wrong and they're gonna see that you two are really serious. And i used to think my parents would never change and now...i'm closer to them than ever. Hang in there...i know sometimes you wish you had your own life, living away from them and doing your own thing with out your parents BUT as long as you dont disappoint them by getting married so soon or getting pregnant they'll see that you trully do care for your bf. You can try talking to your mom and telling her that she can trust you and that if you are wrong to let you figure it out on your own. There's only so much you can do when it comes to parents cuz they might be really traditional, but like i said, hang in there..trust me, it will soon be over and you're gonna be giving other people advice about things like this just like I am. =) good luck
2007-08-02 02:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by Coodles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being 13 is a young age. I don't doubt your feelings of this one being the one. you have time as in your not going to marry him tomorrow kind of time. So just let it ride, he is so great continue dating him you did it secretly for for two years so anyway time will prove you right. If your still together 5 years from now when your old enough to marry. He is defiantly the one. Who can deny 7 years of dating by that time? If not then he is not the one and time will prove that too.
2007-08-02 02:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Kari K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 13, and know he's 'The One'?
I know several girls just like you, and every single one of them is no longer with the person they thought was 'The One'. These girls have over a decade of additional life experiences than you too.
But hey, good luck. Just don't feel sorry for yourself, or wonder why no one wants to be with you when you're a single mother of four (each from separate fathers) at age 35.
2007-08-02 02:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by JAGuzman 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's not "the one." You have no idea what you're talking about because you're just a child. Sorry, but 13 year-olds don't have clue one about what romantic love is. You may think you do, but you're wrong. Your parents are right.
2007-08-02 02:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you out of your mind? What is a ten year old child doing with a boyfriend? You are too young to be thinking about love!!
2007-08-02 02:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋