How do I get my mom to accept the fact that I am growing up?

Question

She doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. She thinks I'm too young. I'm 15 by the way and I'm in highschool now. She's always nosey about my bussiness, like I'm going to do something insane and crazy, especially when my boyfriend is around. How can I let her know that, without physically telling her? Thanks everyone!

Oh and also how can I get my family to unban him from our family hill.(we all live up on a hill and he is no longer allowed to come up) Any suggestions?

#2 makes no sense

He's 16....

HERE'S WHAT MY BF HAS TO SAY...

well, im the boyfriend. and i read "mainstreetchurch"'s answer...and i just want to tell you that i was always respectable and polite when i was up there. i never did anything to imply that i was a "bad kid". AT FIRST i went up there to see my bestfriend. i was naturally attracted to his cousin. so we started dating. i never did anything unreasonable when i was there with her...held her hand, thats it. im not a jackass like guys you are thinking of. its not like i was trying to get down her pants with her family there. i really liked her family. now i cant see her, them, or my bestfriend ever.

and stop telling her that shes is to young, and that her mom is right...because if you people were smart...thats not what she asked. she asked how to gain trust and get her mom to basically let go. some of you had good answers, others...shut up.

Revsuzanne,

How about you are COMPLETELY wrong! He isn't a dog! Don't ******* assume. He wouldn't make me do ANYTHING I didn't want to do.



ALSO...thanks to most of you for just NOT answering my question and lecturing me about how I am to young and how he is a dog.

Answer 1

rezsuzane or whatever your name is...one, you dont know me at all so dont make false accusations that i only want to get her to give in. 2. i AM one of those nice guys. and she knows that.3. i alrady introduced my parents to hers. 4 i would never do anything to hurt her. 5. SHE KNOWS thati would never make her do anything she didnt want to!

so re think your answer, and stop trying to guess how i am. i know how to handle a relationship. and i was nice to her mother, i spoke with her and it was nice. SHE decided to be over protective. i did nothing wrong.

Answer 2

Okay... there are kids that are mature and can think on their feet really early. There are others that shouldn't be allowed to date until they are 21.

Thank God your mom is asking all these questions. It is a parent's job to know your friends, know your friends' parents, know where you hang out, know how you are doing in school. Particularly these days when kids can disappear suddenly, or get caught up in some oddball dangerous activities. She wants you to make something of your life with a good education and career and the stability that comes from that... instead of being a young mother in high school! She really is being a good parent! You have to acknowledge this and praise her for it!

Truth is, the average 16 year old boy is usually all about trying to manipulate the girls into "giving in" and giving them sex of some sort. It is like big game hunting for them and a huge bragging point. Always was and always will be so.
Every generation faces this stuff.
Every generation of girls has to deal with the same decisions about dating and how far to go... and the resulting reputation they get because of it.
Yes, your "dating reputation" matters... it can serve to attract the wrong kind of attention, or can serve to attract nice guys who have respect for a clean-cut girl. It may sound old-fasioned, but it holds true.

You have to show your parents that you are very mature and responsible, particularly for your age.

That boyfriend of yours needs to have the guts to introduce your parents to each other to show that he is an upstanding young man instead of just some rutting layabout. If everyone makes the right impressions on each other, he will be allowed up on the hill.

Answer 3

at 15 id say it's still early and your a child.. still as much as you hate it! Its a mom and dad's business to make sure your safe and your keeping out of trouble.

Being its your parents home.. you cant do anything to get them to unban him from their home.
Question.. how old is this BF of yours.. i only ask cause it might be part of the problem.. ie if he's 17-18 ish and U only being 15.. too old and besides he could end up in Jail .. best idea is wait another year or so..
its cool to hang out with friends and groups but remember your parents werent always 'old' they know what goes on.. and the news nowadays doesnt help your case.. 12-18 is the ages of drug use .. acholol and sex.. diseases and teen pregnancy are up huge precentages and they want you to be safe and healthy

Answer 4

Unfortunately the more you try and assert your independence the more difficult it will be to get your mom to accept your maturing. Truthfully by showing a higher level of respect, taking more time to examine why your family/parents are doing the things they are doing, and asking them to help you understand their view will go a tremendous amount toward them granting you freedom of their own freewill.

You have to understand they are operating out of a fear to try and protect you, and not lose you. This is of course very frustrating for you.

However as you show a greater level of maturity, consideration, and respect, they will begin to see their fears are unfounded, and will show you more respect.

One other point to consider; why do you desire to be attached to one person at the age of 15? More important than having a single boyfriend is your ability to cultivate friendships with many people, and learn to become a balanced person.
Also have you considered that they may be seeing something in him, that might not be healthy or beneficial for you at this time in your life?
The other point of reality to contemplate is that as you resist more when your boyfriend is around, you are only reinforcing the thought in their minds that you are immature and that he is bad for you.

SLOW DOWN, think through what you are doing and let your decisions be motivated by wisdom, not teenage angst.

Answer 5

Sit down with your mother and tell her that her trust is important to you. Tell her that you would like the chance to prove to her that she can trust you, and follow through with it. Ask for small things, work your way up. Maybe he could come over and watch tv while the family is around. Seriously, my mom came with me on a date when I was 15. I'll never forget it. But that was her deal.

You don't understand the protection adults feel towards a 15 year old girl. You gotta let mom call the shots. Just agree to whatever she stipulates but ask her to be reasonable.

Answer 6

Because she wants to protect you. and your too young for a boyfriend thats almost like 13 years old.

Answer 7

show your family that you are responsible and mature. being 15 and having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you can already be trusted. show them,especially your mom, that their fears are unfounded and unnecessary. how? talk to your mom. instead of resenting her nosiness, understand her that it is just for your own good. when you can already do that, then you can say that you are already matured and responsible.

Answer 8

there is a generation gap between....sometimes she has a set point in life and only that would work....u can only pose ur side of the argument....n u hav 2 listen 2 hers....then she has to accept that u hav ur ways of doin things....

the family hill is up to u...do watever u wann do...its ur hill

Answer 9

just tell her maturely, i cannot stand someone whining that theyre mature. sit her down and speak to her woman to woman, once thats done she'll see you differently. but be prepared for a long and gruesome talk... that sounded appropriate to say

Answer 10

Your parents are smart and care alot for you.