I've been dating two guys...they are completely different. One is a long distance relationship that recently has been more frustrating than anything else. We are both know second guessing everything the other one says, when talking on IM, it seems that we 'mis-read' what the other meant. It's just really really frustrating. It takes two people working towards a common goal to make a LDR work, and it takes a committment for communication. We seem to have lost that and I'm no longer enjoying this relationship and neither is he.
We can't seem to let each other walk away. We just keep trying and trying to fix the same problems over and over.
Everything w/ the other guy is completely opposite. We get along great, we laugh a lot. We are open and honest with each other. I really like this guy.
So why am I having a hard time letting go of the LDR guy knowing that it isn't working and that it's not what I want right now?
2007-08-01 18:19:21 · 10 answers · asked by Scrapper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To clarify...the LDR guy is a friend of mine that travels a lot for work, so only get to see him a couple of days a month. We are good friends, and wanted to try more - but things just seem so strained recently. We know the friendship will remain - but neither of us seems to be able to just walk away from this.
The 2nd guy is also a friend of mine. This is a new relationship, but things are going great between us. The problems w/ LDR started before I started dating this guy, so he is not the problem.
They both know that I am dating the other one.
2007-08-01 18:31:57 · update #1
maybe you all can take the bittersweet love you have and make it a friendship my ldr has ended up that way and we are now both in much better relationships but we still love each other and cherish the friendship you all jus need to talk about it
2007-08-01 18:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Brittany 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are probably having trouble letting go of the LDR guy because of FEAR. All of the defensiveness and "misreading" is indicative. Neither one of you is getting what you need in this relationship.
Having been in this situation, I will recommend telling this one that it would be less frustrating for both of you if you just started seeing other people, then when he comes back to live in the same city you can pick up where you left off. It doesn't have to be the big "kiss-off", but a break so the frustrations don't turn the relationship into a burnout situation. If he is mature enough, he will understand. Chances are, when you bring this to the table, you will both breathe a sigh of relief.
Basically, don't keep yourself on a shelf on behalf of some guy that isn't putting the same energy and commitment into the relationship. He probably does not appreciate what it is doing to you. If you are just a "pit stop" convenience for him when he blows back into town, that isn't respecting you either.
Don't sell yourself short.
2007-08-02 01:31:05 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To my reading and understanding, I think the LDR is not the problem here but the feeling to these 2 different guys are entirely different, LDR can be frustrated sometimes, but true love and commitment between 2 persons can still make the relationship goes well.
Seems you are more into another guy who can talk honestly and openly with you instead the LDR one. You should just let your LDR guy knows how you feel and tell him that you think r/s not working out with him, (alternatively cut down the talking with this LDR guy) let him have more time and space to understand your point.
2007-08-02 01:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by Bunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are having a hard time letting go because you don't want to hurt him. But forcing things isn't the best thing to do either. Just make a clean break. Tell the LDR that it's best that you move on tell him that you meet another guy and right now you feel like he is better for you right now. The LDR is not working for you. Then you have to let it be. Just be truthful he might be upset about about it but it's best.
2007-08-02 01:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by loumamma 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you like the illusion of ldr, i mean he is everything the other guy isn't. Of course you still want to be with him. But for now you need to make a desiocon, look at the potentiol of the relationship with ldr and with other guy and think maybe if i stay with ldr i could just be tempted to cheat. Don't waste your time and definitly don't waste, the odds are if your fustrated he is too.
2007-08-02 01:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by maggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because maybe you're scared your other relationship won't work out, and you had already let go of the LDR. Well, I don't think you should stay in any relationship, no matter in what situation, LDR or not, if you are not happy.
Being in a relationship must be liberating in a sense that you must be HAPPY. Happiness is the answer. Go to where your happiness is.
2007-08-02 01:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by jen_good girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people have "forbidden loves" where you have strong feelings for someone that you may never get over. Forever reason it just doesn't work due to whatever the problems are. The differences couldn't be resolved, but the love is still there. I don't know what to say to you other than letting time heal it. You never know, maybe later down the road things may change. If its true love you'll find each other again.
2007-08-02 01:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by criesunjust 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's hard to let go, even when you know it's the right thing to do. Alot of the reasoning stems from not wanting to hurt or be hurt by someone and /or wanting that extra attention. I would see how things went with the other person, considering that you seem delighted with him. Good luck!
2007-08-02 01:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by poemonkey1980 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey you really need to get a Life..why would you ever be in a Long Distance Relationship..you never are together..only on IM...boring..go out and just meet guys...don't get on Chat-lines...be so careful...there are lots of danger..out there...
2007-08-02 01:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
im am not sure why you cant let this guy go, but you know you need to the relationship is no longer healthy or fun. try youbest to quit talking to him and hell leave you alone if he is unhappy as you say he is.
2007-08-02 01:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by rahpookathryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋