my mom who is 51 yrs old found out today she has breast cancer. im whirling from the shock. my mom and i were never very close but i have been trying to change that. her and my 2 little girls are very close. how can i show my support to her? this is all very new to me and im not sure how to act.
2007-08-01 17:26:58 · 10 answers · asked by dee_the_genius 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
be there to listen, go with her to doctor's appt. clean her house when she is weak. keep her grandchildren close to her (they make her happy and give her hope) Pray for strength- for her and yourself. Just being there is the best hope for her.
2007-08-01 17:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by akc6763 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Breast cancer is no longer an absolute death sentence since so much research has been conducted and awareness has been lifted. Don't get me wrong it is still a shock and a very hard recovery. This is your chance to stick by your mom like she did when she raised you. Get to know her and be her friend and help guide her to seek treatment immediately. The sooner the better. You owe that to your 2 little girls who probably would be devastated to lose her. Attitude is everything in recovery and you can be the catalyst to help her keep up when she needs to be up. Encourage her and talk to her about your feelings too but be gentle, kind and loving towards her. She needs positive thoughts and assistance. If you can't be positive with her about this, help her find someone who can.
20 years ago a friend of mine who also was never close with her mother went through the same situation but cures just weren't there back then. They knew there were 6 mos. left at most. So they made it a party and shopped for wigs for when her hair fell out. They planned her funeral to the last detail and picked out everything together. In other words, they bonded finally and enjoyed every minute of that last 6 mos. I so admired that since I thought that type of reaction to that situation just wouldn't be possible for me. I pray that your mom's situation is not that dire and that this will help you understand her and yourself better.
AND, it's okay to cry together about it and then head in a positive direction for treatment.
2007-08-02 00:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The treatment for breast cancer has a bright outlook these days assuming it was found early.
A few things, start taking the time to spend with her alone, do the things the two of you like to do, and talk. Listen too, slmost more important than talking.
Ask her what you can do, depending on the treatment regimen she takes, she can be extremely sick and tired at times, those are the times you can sneak in the house and take care of things for her.
Start by telling her what you said here, that you're not sure how to act, I am betting right now, she isn't sure how to act either
2007-08-02 00:32:30 · answer #3 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother is a 10 year breast cancer survivor--so I know what you're going through. Right now you're both reeling from the shock. I don't know what her treatment options are--but I can tell you one of the things I did for my mom was to help her wash her hair. She had a mastectomy--couldn't yet take a shower because the drain was still in, but had gross hair. After a mastectomy, you can't move your arm that much either--so washing her own hair was out of the question for her. We leaned her back against the sink, and I washed and dried her hair for her. It was a neat experience for both of us, we reminiced about her washing my hair when I was a child, and how I used to scream and throw a fit--she said she was thinking about having a fit just for payback! LOL
Anyway--just be there for her. If she has surgery, she's going to be in pain afterwards and will need physical help getting things done for awhile. If she has to have chemo, she's going to feel like crap, so give her the practical help she'll need during that time. My mom had some great folks from the American Cancer Society who came around after she got out of the hospital from her surgery with TONS of information about chemo, wigs/head coverings, support groups, etc., etc., etc. My mom did say the best thing was talking with the SURVIVORS--it helps to realize that women do survive this.
The best thing you can do for yourself though (and your mom wants you to do this too)...is to do your monthly breast self exams, and depending on the type of cancer your mom has, get those mammograms every year!! My mom reminds me every year (we do them on our b'days) to get that mammogram, she says that's the best present I can ever give her--is keeping myself healthy.
Best wishes to you and especially to your mom. God bless you both!
p.s. My mom was diagnosed at 50--that should help your mom out a bit as well...like I said--she's a 10 year (almost 11) breast cancer survivor!
2007-08-02 00:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to your Mom, hug her and tell her how sorry you feel. Tell her the very idea of losing her has made you realize how much you love her and want her in your life. Ask how you can help. You have to make peace with her because if she dies, you will spend the rest of your life regretting you didn't get close to her. She needs your love and support now. Give it to her.
2007-08-02 00:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how much you love her and give her flowers. have your two little girls make her cards or something special and your mom will appreciate it, trust me. my grandpa had to go into heart surgery and when i was three i made him a card and all my money, which was $1.02. although it wasn't much he treasured it and if your little girls and you did something special, i'm sure your mom will treasure your gifts also. maybe you can even create a scrapbook of all the memories you had with your mom and the times your girls had with your mom. then if she needs any help around her house have you and your girls do what you can to help. just make sure to tell her you love her and help her fight through this. be by her side the whole time
2007-08-02 00:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by sara w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all im very sorry to hear that and the support means alot to people that has cancer go to the doctors with her and to treatments with her that would mean alot to her ! send her flowers occasionally ! call her and visit her and take her out for lunch sometime ! you and youre 2 girls make her something special or buy her something special and give it to her give her a reason to fight this and be their for her i wish yall the best of luck with this and god bless yall i hope she over comes this and lives a healthy life and a happy one
2007-08-02 00:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So so sorry sweetie. You all must be numb. First off educate yourself. Learn everything you can about it. What are they going to do, how large is the lump, what treatment is she going to have. You sit her down and say Mom tell me how I can help, what would you like me to do. WebMd also is a good resource for you. Nothing wrong with hugging her and cry.
2007-08-02 00:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless you, sweet lady.
Take a look at this link:
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/support/support-groups
2007-08-02 00:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she need to devote her time to god to uplift her soul spiritually if she never did before and i sure she will live much longer as you expect.
2007-08-02 00:31:20 · answer #10 · answered by firewall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋