What is the most significant thing that you are grateful for in your relationship?

Question

I am an author and inspirational speaker and was recently involved with the global bestseller ‘The Secret’.

As an expert in the field of relationships I have spent much of my life studying the reasons why romances do or don’t work out and I am keen to know what is it that makes your relationship a successful one!

To see footage of me asking this question visit the Yahoo!7 Answers blog - http://au.blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-txN._0woRKfpYuTJw9rObY.WmgiUW5xm?p=1521

Answer 1

The fact that he was my friend and confidant (not sure how to spell that) before we even started going out together.

We have been married for nearly 7 years, and have a 9 year old son, and being "best mates" first above all else, has made us treat each other with respect and show our son that mum and dad are each other's best friend.

So, i'm grateful that my husband is not only my lover, but he's also the father of our child, and my best friend. You can't get much luckier than that, and i'm sure our son feels lucky to have happy parents too.

I suppose i'm trying to say that his friendship and companionship, and his loyalty is what is most important to me.

Cheers,
hearttattoo.

Answer 2

Wow!
This is a great question! To tell you the truth, if I were still single I don't know that I would have paid much attention to this question but since I have been married the answer I will give to this question as made a world of difference in the longevity of my marriage.

There really is not one specific thing that I am grateful for, because all the things combined make me grateful to have the union of marriage with my husband.

Trust, as if you have never trusted anyone before.
Love, as if you have never loved before.
Communicate, as if you have never said anything to anyone before.

TLC are the first three letters of each of the words above, and I have to say every relationship needs Tender Loving Care or you do not have a relationship.

Some people jump into a marriage thinking it will be a breeze, and for some people it may be, but it takes work...nothing is free in life. When you meet that special person your whole world will change, good times or bad, you will feel like you are floating on cloud nine, and I would not change it for anything.

Finally, if I had to pick the most significant thing that I am grateful for I would say communication.
Me and my husband talk like no other couple we know, we share everything, and it helps us stick together knowing that we can trust each other in everything we do.

I hope that made sense, sorry about all the mumble...I am just so in love with my husband there is no greater feeling I could ever think of.

Answer 3

We are truck drivers and are with each other literally 24 hours a day 6 to 7 days a week, I go once every other weekend to get my nails done he doesn't come with me. Everyone asks how can you guys be together all the time and not argue and fight. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Without communication you have nothing. If you can't talk about how you are feeling with the person you love how do you expect to stay together. The next big thing is trust, I trust my husband completely and he feels the same. Everyone comes with baggage but you have to put that old luggage in the attic and start fresh if you keep it downstairs in your relationship it will just trip you up. Honesty is the third most important thing. There is no reason to lie period, All a lie does is breed new lies and when discovered it will put an end to the first two important things.

Answer 4

I am grateful that me and my live-in boyfriend are friends. I believe it's remarkably true how you should be friends first before you develop a deeper relationship with someone. I know that I can (and do) talk to him about anything, and I believe he feels the same way.

We also don't expect a great deal from one another. I guess we're not really a "romantic" couple. We just like our very simple, easy lives. I think that some couples try to throw too much romance and spontanaity into relationships and when it doesn't happen, they become too disappointed and think that the relationship isn't working. Just enjoy each other day to day.

I also like that my man is predictable. I know some people want someone who is spontaneous because they think it will make the relationship more exciting. Give me predictability! Why? Because at any time of the night or day, I know where he is and what he's doing.

And I also have a rule: don't become involved in each other's family problems!! This may sound very strange, but neither one of us become involved in each other's family feuds. We believe that we have a relationship with each other, not each other's families. When you throw family squabbles in the mix, it really opens up a can of worms in your relationship.

We've been living together for 10 yrs now. And we met online. I may not be an expert on relationships, but this one sure seems to work out just fine for the both of us.

Answer 5

I am most grateful for having a second chance with this man.
We broke up for 3 months after being in an abusive (physical & emotional) relationship that also included drugs & alcohol. I am still healing from the trauma of the abuse I suffered for almost 2 years but during our time apart my boyfriend realized how much I really meant to him. He has quit drinking and has not touched drugs for over 5 months.
He is not the same person I met 2 1/2 yrs ago. He is kind and gentle he apologizes if he even remotely offends or hurts my feelings. I no longer see the selfish attributes I saw in him for so long. He no longer lies (and believe me I check up on him)
He is everything I knew he was when I first met him. I think sometimes as the saying goes : Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The time apart was the key for our relationship. The time we needed to realize how our addictions and behaviors were destroying each other. Here we were - we knew we truly loved each other but for so many reasons we just could not be in a healthy relationship. We realized we loved each other and the hard work and changes we made were worth the love we share today.

Answer 6

I would have to say balance. My wife and I often do not see eye-to-eye about things and we help each other understand situations better than we would if we were more similar.

I'll tell you why most romances don't work out: sexual incompatibility. Of all the many people I know who have successful relationships and those not so many who have divorced or break up a non-married relationship, failure ultimately comes down to the fact that one had a different sexual spectrum and/or appetite than the other and they could not resolve it; conversely, success ultimately resulted when they were successfully compatible.

It's not money, it's not kids, not in-laws, not job loss, not workaholism or alcoholism or drug addiction, not living conditions or medical conditions or psychological conditions or any other thing.

It's sexual compatibility, and the reason is that sooner or later you can work out all those other problems but if you're not sexually compatible, all the other things will not help the romance/relationship one iota.

And let me be completely clear that I don;t advocate everyone having all kinds of sex all the time when I say sexual compatibility. A sexually compatible couple may very well be a couple that rarely has sex and never, shall we say, experiments, as long they are both truly satisfied with the frequency and variety. However, if one rarely desires sex and never experiments, while the other craves lots of sex and experimentation, they are sexually incompatible and are headed for trouble. I think the biggest mistake of today's so-called "Just say no" Christian attitude toward sexuality is that unless the couple talks about their sexual preference and desire, they won't know until it's too late they are incompatible.

Answer 7

My 34- year relationship is intact, but it doesn't mean that it is a success. And I very well know why. But first what's a successful relationship? For any relationship to last with happiness and contentment, it must have an "honest" beginning. On the onset, partners make the universal mistake - and fatal one at that- by acting and behaving as 'someone else'. They hide their past, they hide their real characters , they hide their real selves. Over time, the truths will emerge - that's the time the relationship enters an uncertain phase, in many cases - the time when the feeling of being "fooled" set it.Consequently there will be feeling of hurt, betrayal, anger, suspicion, revenge . With that, all the good things will become meaningless things . The secret to a happy relationship is to START with absolute honesty and frankness. From that point, "IF IT IS MEANT TO BE IT WILL BE". If you have run deep into this subject as an expert, I believe you may see some senses in what I am saying. This was one of the topics I delved in great length in my Radio Motivational talk.

Answer 8

My husband is my best friend. We are truck drivers and are with each other literally 24 hours a day 6 to 7 days a week, I go once every other weekend to get my nails done he doesn't come with me. Everyone asks how can you guys be together all the time and not argue and fight. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Without communication you have nothing. If you can't talk about how you are feeling with the person you love how do you expect to stay together. The next big thing is trust, I trust my husband completely and he feels the same. Everyone comes with baggage but you have to put that old luggage in the attic and start fresh if you keep it downstairs in your relationship it will just trip you up. Honesty is the third most important thing. There is no reason to lie period, All a lie does is breed new lies and when discovered it will put an end to the first two important things.

Answer 9

I am grateful for time that is so much more precious than gifts or money. Romances don't work out if you are not friends first. Communication is a key factor as well as not becoming complacent. I know couples that have been married for years and each one expects the other to "read their mind" and that's a mistake. Always sit down and say what you think you heard and ask.ask....ask. If the romance is just based on lust or control, it will never work out. Know that we are NOT mind readers no matter how long you have been together. Don't be dependent on the other person to the point where you lose your self esteem or even yourself. You don't want to be defined as someone who can't make up their own mind and is completely dependent on the other person. It suffocates you and the other person. Trust also is a key issue. Without it , you have nothing. Hold that temper until you have had time to walk away, settle yourself down and then calmly sit down and talk about it.Always treat you significant other with respect and never let the romance get boring!

Answer 10

Well I think there are many different reasons for problems in the relationship, here are my opinions:
a) When children come into the relationship it can put a lot of pressure on the parents, like when they don't sleep at nighttime and parents suffer from sleep deprivation, it causes a lot of arguing and stress and both parents, especially if they both have to work, which is the case these days!! - No one can really function well having no sleep. Other times children can be very testing as well which can cause conflict between two parents.
b) Insecurity/Jealousy within the relationship can be quite harmful to the point when one or the other doesnt trust their partner and gets jealous whenever they go out to do their own separate thing outside the relationship. They may get jealous when they are mixing with the opposite sex.
c) Money is another factor - Money puts a lot of stress on the relationship.

The answer is to be totally upfront with each other. Don't have any secrets. Another big factor is communication - You have to be able to communicate with each other. Have your own "me" time.

d) When you have children, make sure you have partner/husband/wife time together as well. Remember that you are a couple as well even if you make a date to go out once a fortnight as a couple this is meant to be important.

This is where I can't talk my partner and I don't really go out as a couple - we have only been out together once since we have had our 2 1/2 year old, and I must say that it felt really strange and uncomfortable.
Well I might even come up with some more but this is it for now.

Answer 11

I need more space ! I have been married for 31 years now. I am grateful that the both of us has been able to work out lots of difficulties in this long relationship. It takes a lot of work, nothing ever comes easy and if it does, it doesn't last. It is also a give and take from the both of us. I have learned over the years that you have to remember that if YOU don't really want to do something, you should tell your partner. That is where the truth is about the relationship. If you are able to talk and work things out, then you have a good relationship. It just isn't always easy especially when you are in the middle and can't see inside. You have to keep that love torch burning and sometimes add spice to your life. Don't forget to appreciate what you have and make sure your other half knows how you feel.