Is it wrong to want to spend some money?

Question

My husband works and i stay at home to look after our 5 month old son, and hubby is very tight with his money. I understand that we have to save our money, as we are hopefully going to build a house soon, but i still find it difficult. He controls all the money (well, it is his), but won't splash out just once, and let me buy something for me. Am i wrong? And how do i stop feeling jipped?

I am trying to go back to work as well, but find it difficult, because i can not get childcare for my son either. My mother works all day too.

Answer 1

You should have discussed money control issues before marriage and set up a plan to follow. You are married, it is not his money, it belongs to both of you. How much would he have to pay someone to come in and raise the kid and clean the house if he didn't have you? You have worth too. If you married a man that cannot see that, then that's your fault for saying "I do".

Answer 2

No you are not wrong to want to indulge yourself every once and again! If you are saving your money to build a house, fine, but there should always be a portion of money for fun. My mom homeschools her 6 children and does some business from home on the side. This helps her pay bills, along with my dads salary, and she puts some money aside for fun. If you have free time weekly or don't mind taking the baby with you, think about getting a small newspaper route from the local paper. Not one of the early papers like the Washington Post or New York Times, but one like the weekly paper that comes one day a week in the evening. A paper route can take anywhere from 1-3 hours, depending on the number of papers. Or you can use some of your talents to earn money some other way, but if your husband has an income that he absolutely needs to save than you should get one that you can both spend!

Answer 3

We all are tempted to spend money - most humans receive this want frequently, while others only rarely - but ask yourself: Is this necessary? Is it merely for show, or will it help both me and my husband?

With a child and the aim to build a house in the future, your husband is right to want to monitor and limit how much the family spends. With a baby so young needing care, purchasing something with money that may be needed for emergencies, especially if the desired item has few uses, is not advised. However, try to put money away in a 'treat' jar: perhaps five or ten dollars out of every one-hundred or so. Then, skip a few weeks and don't make any new additions to the jar.

Be smart about spending.

Answer 4

Why is it his money if you're married. That's the problem right there. As long as you keep up this charade the the money is HIS, he'll always feel the need to control it.

The best thing you can do is stay home with your son, don't go back to work.

Tell your husband that if you're going to stay home, you would like a little bit of financial freedom, and tell him that you would like an allowance for groceries, home incidentals, kid activities, and personal stuff (like getting your hair done, nails, etc.).

If he has direct deposit at work he can automatically have money go into an account that you open up, and you'll never have to bother him again for the little stuff.

You are entitled because you're married, and marriage is a union, sharing everything right?

Answer 5

EXCUSE ME? I am a 46 yr old mother of 4. It does not matter if you work outside the home or are a homemaker, you have 2 full time jobs, running the house and raising the children. If you are a stay at home mom, it is your responsibility to keep a clean house, etc and it his responsibility to provide for your needs, all of them. yes we all need to save money, buthe also needs to provide you with an allowance for clothing and other personal needs, even if it is just lunch at McDonalds once in a while. The bills always come first.
I read the other answers, where did this "his money" come from? when we marry we are supposed to be "one" together, sharing equally. I dont think a small allowance is too much to ask for one who does all the cleaning, cooking, shopping. if you hire on to do this for someone else, would you do it for room and board?

Answer 6

My wife just quit her job before our twins arrived five months ago also. Our problem is a bit the opposite in the fact that I always want to spend money (not because I am the one who earned it) and she always stops me or I get the third degree when she finds out that I did.
It is good to have a tight budget (especially for that house), but let him know that you get bored at home and want to go out and do something. If you are good at planning, prepare a budget and show him there is some extra for "pampering" if you will. Just make sure you put enough away for that house you two plan on building.

Answer 7

It is NOT "his" money any more than it is "your" son. Quit feeling like you don't deserve it.

It is very common for married couples to polarize on this issues: one is a spender, one is a saver. It is crucial that you find a compromise.

Sit down and work out a budget with your husband that allows for some small discretionary fund for YOU to spend as you see fit. Get it in writing and don't take no for an answer! :)

My husband is a tightwad too. Caution can be great, but TODAY is just as important as tomorrow. Don't let him forget!

Answer 8

I know this may sound kiddish...but, he needs to give you a certain amount of money per month that you can spend on whatever you want. I am not the best with money at all and my husband is. When we started this plan it gave me an opportunity to do whatever I wanted with the money I was given. I've found that it really works well for me.

Answer 9

Tough call. After all it is his money that he is working hard for to support the family and to help the family move forward to live a better life. It is nice to buy something for yourself too. It does make yourself feel better. Now, if you are asking to buy something that is expensive... I can understand why he is not willing to give you money. Maybe going back to work might be a good option for you, that way you can have your own money and do what you please with it (after paying for daycare of course).

Answer 10

Sounds like you're being greedy to me. Think of it this way.... you can either have that really cute pair of shoes now or the house of your dreams in the near future. If you choose the shoes you may as well file for divorce now because all you are going to do is drive him away fighting about money because you want something that you don't need.