Okay, my husband and I recently had a baby, she is now 2weeks. This is our fourth child. None of our families came to visit us in the hospital during the four day stay, except for my husband's sister. My parents are passed, but his are not. His parents came the night I had the baby but they only saw her through the window, never touching her or holding her, they did not return for the 4 day stay. I have sisters though, the one closest to me did not even call me, until a week later, I did not answer the phone. We are not bad people. My husband and I have degrees. I stay at home and take care of the children. We are clean. We have an ideal home. The people I attend church with came and saw us. They even brought us food when we returned home, not once but for five days. To top it off last Sunday his parents were coming to see us (remember they haven't really met the baby) they decided to hang out at the mall until 5:30 then came over for 45min. I can't get over this. What should we do?
2007-08-01 14:31:53 · 9 answers · asked by TT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
A child is a child. It should not matter how many we have, the love for that child should be given the same respect as all children. Furthermore, this is officially our last child. When I had my third child they could not get enough of her and still can not.
2007-08-01 14:42:08 · update #1
You have my symapthies(and congradulations on the baby), there really is not much you can do about the indifference that your family has shown. think about it, would it really do any good to confront these people (they would chalk it up to your raging hormones and allow them to place blame on you somehow). I would just enjoy the gift you have and distance yourself from them for a short time, when you cool down, calmy let them know that they have hurt you. Shame on them, children are a gift and they grow too fast to pass on the opportunity to love them
2007-08-01 14:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With three other children and now a newborn, don't you think it's possible that they wonder if you have the time to socialize with them? This could be disapproval from those who think that having four is a bit overboard, or it could be uncomfortable (maybe even a bit painful) for those who can't have children/aren't married/don't have the resources to do what you did. Don't discount this because I've seen some nasty interaction between friends when one had a child and the other couldn't. What should you do? Tend to your family, you have your hands full. Don't snub these others because you don't really know what's going on. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't make your babies the mandatory topic of conversation--show interest in others. It's a real pain when people have to dwell on something like babies and don't realize that this doesn't obsess others like it does them. If you're up on a pedestal and cruising on cloud nine, good for you. When you deal with others however, come down to earth and kick the pedestal to one side.
Then they have no excuse to not deal with you. Not that they need one because then you're paying equal attention to them, which is what works for most people.
Try getting in touch and NOT talking about the kids, especially the new one. It would be interesting to see how they react.
2007-08-01 14:51:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least they came and saw the baby. No one in my husband's family has seen our new baby and she's 11 months old! Our kids are the only grand-kids in the family , but the grandparents (there are two sets on his side), well none of them seem to care. As soon as we stopped travelling to see them on every single vacation day we had (2 years ago), we basically stopped seeing them. (They're all retired and could come visit us, and have been invited several times).
My point is, that a lot of people are selfish and you can't change that.It's painful, to accept that they don't seem to care as much as, or maybe they don't show it in the same fashion that you do.
I say move on with your life, and let your friends be your family. At least you will have some people you know you can count on, and who you can care about, who will care about you.
2007-08-01 14:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by cogecojelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything!!
Your expectations are way too high, especially since this is your 4th child. Everyone's been there done that. No offense to your 4th child, it's loved just as much, but you know how it goes with 2nd, 3rd, and 4th children. You always have more pictures of the 1st child, and it's just spoiled more by everyone.
Relax and enjoy the fact that you have an opportunity to be with this last child without all the hub bub!!!
2007-08-01 17:10:36 · answer #4 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your 4th child, they've already been through this 3 times with you, you don't need to be fauned over, they came and saw the baby, but they also have lives to lead too. You are not the center of the world.
2007-08-01 14:35:28 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do. You're not having babies to get attention from your family. Enjoy the baby and show your children the type of love you think parents should show children.
2007-08-01 14:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Answer Queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but only with compassion. remember that nothing is what it seems to be. see how this situation affects your emotions and anlyse them.
2007-08-01 14:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by Tawan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all family and friends react the same as others...be blessed that you do have such sincerity and love from somene, your Church.
2007-08-01 14:35:46 · answer #8 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive them and let it go,,,some people are just like that,,maybe they are jealous
2007-08-01 14:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by igottadrive2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋