The thing is my girlfriends a virgin and i understand that and totally respect that. I've been going with her almost a year now and the more i wait the harder things get. I love her and she tells me she loves me but its hard to just not have sex i'm a sexually active guy but the thing is i love her and only wanna be with her. she tells me were going to have sex and shes not waiting for marriage but i don't think so cuz she keeps pushing for us to get married soon, mind you i'm 19 she's 18. I want to marry her but its too soon and i don't wanna marry her for sex because thats not what you do but i wanna have sex and i'm getting fustrated. Plus its not just that with her her mom is very strict on her and doesn't allow her to do things with me and that also is a drag. plus she can be a pain in the ***. what do you think? is she worth the trouble or should i find someone else?
2007-08-01 14:07:38 · 35 answers · asked by gdub1987 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
talk to her about it. let her know that you love her dearly but you just don't know whether you can wait for her anymore. . .
if she doesn't want to have sex, does she still give sexual favours?? . .
i don't think you're being selfish at all. i know if my boyfriend wanted to wait till marriage i'd **** him off. not because i didn't love him but because it can cause a lot of stress. it's just not fair.
don't listen to people who are telling you that you're basically full of **** and if you really loved her you'd wait because that's not always the case.
2007-08-01 14:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You wouldn't be Asking if you didn't Know already.
You show a Lot of Restraint on Her behalf, and That is a Wonderful Gift. I understand your Frustration at this. That kind of Devotion is Hard to Come By.
Sex is Nice...at the Right Time, with the Right Person, and it's What you Both Want....It can be Magical!
If she is your Soulmate, you can Last until She is Ready too, as She can Stay Devoted until You feel it is Time to Marry. A True Relationship is a Give and Take.
Sounds like a Typical Mom, your Relationship shall Endure!
Talk a Lot, Share how you Feel in the Heart (not the Groin)...Souls and Emotions make Relationships, not Sweaty, Fluid Exchanges. I've been in Both, and there is a HUGE Difference!
2007-08-01 14:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by wonderland.alyson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if she isn't ready then she just isn't you cant rush these things with a girl. To a girl giving up her virginity is the most sacred thing that we can do. We want to make sure that it is "given up" so to speak to the right man. We want it for love not lust. If you really love her you will wait and not going looking for a booty call with some other girl in the meantime. If she doesn't want to have sex yet don't pressure her that is the worst thing that you could ever to do her and she won't like you for it. So its up to yourself whether she is "worth the trouble" which i have to say is a poor choice of words for describing her. You must be the judge of that is it worth putting your sexual activity on hold for this women or should you move on to someone that will pleasure you? Think about it.
2007-08-01 14:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her, than stop worrying about having sex all the time. If you truly love her you should get married to her, and stop just worrying about having sex. Sex isnt as important as marriage and love, it might seem like it, but its not. Love is a need, Sex is only a want. Just dont think about sex and it wont be so hard on you, dont drag it out. Wait for the right moment, and it will happen.
Hope i helped.
2007-08-01 14:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by Paralyze 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your to young for marriage and children. You need to go out and plow your oats. Have fun! Live! Travel! Sail! Have more fun! Get loaded! Have sex! Do any way and every way you want, you don't need a license to have sex:~)
Why are kids in such a hurry to grow up and play house and PAY BILLS. It's not all that exciting. Then suddenly your a Dad facing 21 years of child support. I'm telling you the same thing I tell my 21 year old son, who lives in the Florida Keys and has a great life. You need to live. Wear protection and have fun:~)
2007-08-01 14:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your age, it is hard to "wait". Tell her you are not ready for marriage if you are honestly not ready. Don't push her into having sex if she wants to wait til you are married. Sometimes, girls will feel they have to have sex to "keep the guy".
My feeling is that if you wait, it will be worth it, that is if the two of you are meant to be. I agree with you in not marrying her just to have sex. That is not going to work. Continue to respect her. If you feel you need to, then walk away from any situation that might make you or her feel Obligated, or put you in a situation that will tempt you. You can snuggle with her or go on long walks, or take lots of cold showers.
2007-08-01 14:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i understand that and totally respect that".
"the more i wait the harder things get".
"its hard to just not have sex"
"I want to marry her but its too soon and i don't wanna marry her for sex"
"i wanna have sex and i'm getting fustrated".
Where's the confusion?
1) Don't get married you'll regret it. Confused, too young, too soon, mother in-law
2) Measure your patience and tolerance.
3) Is she the one? Then wait.
You sound desperate so either way it won't last long.
Good Luck!
2007-08-01 14:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by Royal Flush 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you're sexually active. But you say you're not having sex with her.
If you love your girlfriend, I don't think you'd be active with anyone else.
Also, no matter how badly you want to have sex, if she isnt' ready she's just NOT ready.
"worth the trouble" is a terrible thing to say about someone you supposedly 'love'.
If you are referring to her as trouble, I say it's a good thing that she's not ready to have sex.
If the physical is worth more to you than a non-sexual relationship, then maybe you should find someone else.
2007-08-01 14:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by Sumie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you love her you can wait. Be happy that she respects and loves her future husband (which may be you) that she only wants to be with him. Sex should be done only in marriage nt out of marriage. I am glad to her that you don't want to be married for sex. Just remember sex is special gift that should could come along with only marriage.
2007-08-01 14:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are one lucky guy to be dating a virgin in this day and age. I understand your frustration, however isn't she worth waiting for? If you truly love and respect her, you will be patient. I dont think you are ready for a real committment for a long while yet. My advice is - work on earning her trust and friendship first and the rest will follow naturally.
2007-08-01 14:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by Pixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, it's obvious you want to have sex. Sex and love mean something different to you both. She wants love therefore she believes in Marriage and being monogamous. She wants love therefore she believes marriage is important. She's not going to just give it up for you.
Boy, your young! There are plenty of girls who will give you what you want, but if you stay with your girl, she's going to make you wait because she thinks she deserves better and she thinks your the one.
I say end it before it gets more complicated because your not in love with her, you want something more: it's called sex, and once you have it, it might not be what you want in the end.
2007-08-01 14:18:21 · answer #11 · answered by ~darkest than the nite~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋