She died after having her last child,she was only two weeks old. she died of an aneurysm and now it is 11 years later and I have to explain to her daughter how everything happen, she is about to turn 12 and she is curious. the other two girls know, because they are older, and they knew their mom, but they all call me mom, because they were so young. I am scared that if I tell her she might feel different toward me. My sister asked me to take care of her kids before she died. I have a big job and it has been hard There is three of them and I have two of my own. How do I explain to her, so she will understand better.
2007-08-01 13:19:11 · 11 answers · asked by glr5lch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Gear your explanation to her level of understanding. Keep the explanation as simple as possible without deleting anything that is crucial for her to know. Her sisters have probably already let her in on things as they have understood them along the way. It is up to you to be honest and to clear up any questions, doubts or fears she may have from any misinformation she may have gotten from her sisters. Let her ask as many questions as she needs and answer them in a simple, straightforward and patient manner. Assure her that notwithstanding any reaction or response you get from her, nothing will change the fact that you have been her mother and she , your daughter from the onset of her biological mom's death. Show her pictures of her mom as you explain the situation and give her all the emotional support she'll need to cope with the information you'll supply. Be strong, assertive but gentle and caring. Once this is done, she should appreciate all the sacrifice and effort you have put into making her life as easy as possible since the death of your sister. You've accomplished a great deal and I commend you for the love, integrity and sense of duty you have demonstrated thus far. I wish you the best and hope it all works out in the end!
2007-08-01 13:35:48 · answer #1 · answered by SexRexRx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and let her know that there was a blood clot in her brain that just wasn't able to be fixed, but that she loved her very much and gave her (and her sisters) to you to take care of and to love. If she is mature for her age, you could allow her to do some research online regarding aneurysm's so that she can understand that it was no one's fault that her mom passed.
Let her know how much you loved your sister and how much her Mother (and you) love her and her sisters and that just because she is gone, does not mean that she is not around. She will always be in her heart and soul and watching over her from heaven.
I hope that she will understand that it was a natural thing that happened and what a selfless act you did by bringing her family into your home.
2007-08-01 13:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That her mom loved her so much, but she got sick and died. Explain the aneurism, but only in simple terms. Tell her that ff her mom were here, she would be the best mom ever. But - because she can't be, you're trying to make sure she never feels alone.
Let it go at that unless she asks lots of questions.
2007-08-01 13:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Answer Queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would she feel different if you told her about it? Does she think you're her actual mum?
If you're going to explain to her, you have to explain everything. You can't leave bits and pieces out, she'll eventually get more curious and want to find out about these missing details anyway.
Explain how it happened without going into grewsome detail, but she has to know that it WASN'T her fault. You could tell her that sometimes these things just happen, that it wasn't planned and that it certainly wasn't because of her.
2007-08-01 13:27:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the whole truth, don't sugarcoat anything. It's important she understands the exact reality. It sounds like she has some concept of it anyway since you say she is curious, and there is no "bad surprise" here. Don't worry about yourself, the issue is her dealing with real life. It's a tough world out there and we don't any favors when avoid it.
2007-08-01 13:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always tell her that God had a special mission that only her mom could do for God and just before she left to do this for God she asked you to watch out for her and her sisters til the day when all can be together again and that God is really appreciative that she let god use her mom for such a special Angel assignment.
2007-08-01 13:27:36 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I just want to tell you that I think you are the greatest person to have as a sister, what you are doing for your sister (I'm sorry about that,may she be in Peace) is beautiful and good things will come to you in return. Never lose hope :)
I know I'm not answering your question, I'm not qualified to do that, but I just wanted to give you good wishes.
2007-08-01 13:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by tats 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-09 00:36:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into your heart and explain it how you would like it explained to you if you were your niece.
But above all things - BE TRUTHFUL
2007-08-01 16:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is best. She will be ok. You are truly a guardian angel.
2007-08-01 13:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋