Star me if this is funny! it's called a letter from a mother.?

Question

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Thank you for answers and stars! I'll add more.

No actually I didn't make this up. I found it on the Internet and decided to share it with all of you!

Thank you all for your stars! They are appreciated.

P.S. I find most of the jokes on the internet, and share them.
Note: I DO NOT STEAL JOKES! If I put a joke that was already up on this website then I did not steal it, I found it on the internet and decided to share it with all of u! Enjoy!

Answer 1

Sam this is Excellent.!!!
10/10 for posting.!!!
Cheers had a good laugh.!!!

Answer 2

After hot steamy sex, George and Cecil lay in bed and had a cigarette. George gets up to use the bathroom and on his way in says 'now Cecil, no mastubating while im gone'. He winks at Cecil and goes in. A few minutes later, George comes back in to find cu.m all over the bed and on parts of the floor. He sees cu.m on the walls and even some dripping from the ceiling. 'I thought i told you no masturbating' George says. 'I didn't' replied Cecil. 'I farted'.

Answer 3

Good One Worth A Star

Answer 4

Sweet

Answer 5

i can remember reading that in a joke book when i was little, still makes me laugh. like the bit about the pick up truck.
have a star

Answer 6

I'm old enough to remember Frank Carson doing this in his act.

It's the way he tells 'em!

Answer 7

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 8

LOL. Oh, Yes, Indeed!! LOL.

Great Post ! Kudos!

Thanks for the Laugh!

Answer 9

That's pretty funny but i heard most of those before.

Answer 10

good one
LOL
i forwaded to my friends
i am sure they love it!!!

gave you a star!!!!


ps i m waiting for the 10 points!!!! lol