I beleive that this is wrong about Jehovah's Witnesses tell me if chaparones are always required?

Question

I knew a guy who wanted to ask a woman to marry him, and things didnt go his way. I tried to counsel him, and I asked him if he ever just talked to the woman 1 on 1 to discuss his feelings and what not. He told me that it is forbidden to be alone with an un-married woman to discuss such things, as it could lead to inappropriate activity! I can understand a late night date by the beach, maybe, but not maybe a lunch at a restaurant. Grown ups with serious issues do not have to be babysitted by so called "elders" to talk about these issues I told him. I think it is ridiculous to beleive that adults need to have chaparones in a daylight, non-sexual discussion. Does anyone else think this is ridiculous? One should be able to discuss feelings of love and emotion with a person of the opposite sex without a chaparone I dont beleive the Bible says that you need a chaparone for this. Is this not a ridiculous JW situation? Im not hating on them, but I just think this is crazy. What do you think?

I just think that 2 people should be able to responsibly be able to discuss these kind of things as grown adults without someone with them. Meeting at an Applebees for afternoon lunch to talk is not getting the same as getting a hotel room to sit on the bed and chat. What if this person that chaparones decides that the discussion is not appropriate, but the couple disagrees? This is something surely to get back to the elders etc and could cause unnecessary problems. If the two people are grown adults and are responsible, there should be no so called "chance of immorality" This is ridiculous I feel. Am I alone on this?

Answer 1

Achtung, you, sir, are a liar. I usually have to at least respect your political ducking and dodging, so it really disappoints me to you see tell an outright lie.

Unchaperoned dating is MOST CERTAINLY forbidden by Jehovah's Witnesses. An unmarried adult couple who goes out on dates unchaperoned will be called before a judicial committee (i.e. kangaroo court) so fast their heads will spin, and you know it!

The same will happen to an unchaperoned co-ed gathering of young adults.

Edit: To the poster below me: How can it be the prerogative of the "head of the household" or "dads and moms" when we are talking about ADULTS? When was the last time someone in his 20's needed his parents' permission to date? There is a reason why the JWs out without chaperones were wary of your wife. Dads and moms don't lead judicial committees; elders do.

Answer 2

I am not a JW (yet), but my wife has relatives who are Witnesses 50 years and we know alot of the JW's in the congregation. With my own eyes I have seen dating JWs at the movies, mall, and restarants with no chaperones. Half the time thier embarassed to say hi and half the time thier the ones who come over. They must know my wife is gonna talk with her family, right?

Ok, I asked my wife and she said dating all the time without a chaperone might get you a talking to but as long as you keep it at "first base" your fine. The main problem is the dads and moms, not the elders.

Answer 3

Chaparones are required....I use to chaparone several couples.....Although I was too young to do anything, and use to have to sit in the front seat of the car at the drive in, while the couple made out in the back seat...LOL...TRue story....I was 17

It is also true that couples found to be dating without a chaparone, will be quickly brought before the Elders.....


When you first study with the Witnesses you get the Rosy Paradise version of the theology....after awhile, they tell you about the wierd stuff, but usually it is too late by then, and you are hooked..\



http://freeminds.org

Answer 4

Sorry there's a problem here and it's with your friend or with the way he communicated this 'problem'.

Never allowed to be alone with someone of the opposite sex? Either he misunderstood what was said or someone is deliberately trying to mislead here.

Yes COUPLES need to have time to talk with each other about their hopes,plans, deisres for the future.

However these two people, at least from the way you relayed it do not sound like they WERE a couple. If he never discussed his feelings, how could he ever think of asking her to marry him?

Answer 5

Well assuming this person was a Witness, then there was a communication break down somewhere. While it is definitely advisable to have a chaperone, especially in situations where inappropriate actions could be taken. That said it of course is appropriate for 2 single persons, especially contemplating marraige, to be together for private discussions. Also having a chaperone doesn't mean it is an Elder in the congregation. I know a woman in her 60s who has often, somewhat teasingly, said she will gladly chaperone my courtships, should the time come. Conversly a friend of mine has asked me to chaperone for her when the time comes. Does this mean she will never have a moment's privacy?? Of course not. Even when I tagged along with my brother on a group outing, he was rather passionate about his current girlfriend, I gave them privacy, I was simply there to help him not let things go to far. Of course if he was to have decided to, he could have easily gone off on his own and gotten in to trouble.

Having a chaperone is a protection, and a gift. It of course helps keep things clean, but also is a way of showing the perspective mate that you have respect for them.

I personally have known adult couples who have gone out with out "chaperones" and despite the claim a few answers down, no one was called in to "kangaroo court". As for co ed gatherings of young people being fobbiden, this too is untrue. Case in point a friend of mine in my hometown just mentioned to me how she and a group of friends went to the movies. She I think is in her 30's now, but others were in their teens, once again no action was taken.

It is true that unsupervised coed gatherings of pubecents can be worrysome. "Foolishness is tied up in the heart of a boy" is a somewhat well known Bible verse. The principle is clear.

Answer 6

Unchaperoned dating is not forbidden by the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. It seems quite possible that a particular family head among Jehovah's Witnesses would disallow the practice by members of his household.

Jehovah's Witnesses are a global brotherhood, and seek to respect local sensibilities regarding dating and courtship. Their wish to remain virtuous moves many Christian couples to limit the circumstances in which they could be assured uninterrupted privacy for an extended time. In the United States and Europe, most "dating" occurs in groups, but it is not uncommon for two adult dating Witnesses to be "alone" in a corner of a restaurant (etcetera), perhaps keeping parents or a mature friend informed of their whereabouts and schedule.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20041015/article_01.htm

Answer 7

Nothing much surprises me anymore.

AEN