Is Love extreme Want or extreme Need? Or what?

Question

This is asked because it is not understood and should be. So can be classed as pain management.

No one ever goes into detail! is it something we treat as sacred, and so we don't like to analyse it?

Deepjedi - you obviously know this subject, but it isn't a matter of my own confusion that is important. People talk and broadcast such nonsense on it, it cannot be understood well in the first place.

Answer 1

Love is a human *need*; your confusion could be because we obviously want what we need i.e. you need water to survive...if you're thirsty, you want a drink...even though you aren't actually in a condition of immediate *need*. However, we don't always need what we want i.e. you might want a cigarette to smoke even though smoking is self-destructive behaviour. This is why love can actually be dangerous e.g. a depressive person might fall in love with a known 'player' with a track record of cheating - which, if done to *them*, could make them feel suicidal.

The reason love is a need is that evidence has long demonstrated that without love, people wilt and die. It's a slow process, but a loveless life can clearly lead to suicide - this is well known.

A psychologist theorised that there are seven basic needs for humans: food, drink, warmth, shelter, love of friends, love of family, and love of a partner. Apparently, if any one of these is lacking, the human will eventually die.

The scientific reasoning behind this is that we are a tribal species that are genetically programmed to need others. As a species that reproduces sexually we need at least one other. Our extremely long growth period from infancy-to-adulthood, during which we require years of protection and nurturing, also predisposes us to a need for familial support. Our great brains, that give us self-awareness, predispose us to becoming introspective, and lonely, which is one reason why we need the love of friends and family. As a species that naturally lives in colonies, we are predisposed to compete for the attentions of possible mates - which gives each of us an inate desire to show-off, to be noticed; we also need to feel secure that we won't be kicked out of the tribe, wich is why we need the reasurance of feeling appreciated (the love of friends).

There are, if you think about it, unusual humans who take vows of silence, and/or chastity, hermits who prefer to live in isolation, etc. but in all these cases, a *choice* has been taken. Also, any such person can be sustained by notions of self-love i.e. from having a faith that one is living a good life. Religious beliefs can also sustain an unusual person in this way because they have the love of their God.

However, if circumstances *prevent* one from fulfilling one of the love needs, before long, that person will develop the symtoms of depression, which, if untreated, is a long, slow decent into misery until all strength of the will to live is gone.

So, no question: love is need, not mere want.

Answer 2

Good question. There are different types of love,
Babies have extremes of want and need, when our parents get old they have the same extremes. Neither age recognises this.
Parents and older children are there to meet this need and want. It is understandable and the caring is also an act of love.
Do we care because we want to or because we need to!
If you are asking about love between woman and man then that is a huge minefield.
Some people cannot live on their own so choose anyone that shows an interest, extreme need and a desperate want to be part of something.
I have lived alone for many years; learnt about myself and started to like myself.
I met a man and we were friends at first; that grew into something stronger. In my case love is not extremes of want or need.
Love is acceptance and recognising differences. Love is comfortable, warm and welcoming.
Even after an argument love is about talking and working together.

Answer 3

Honestly I believe that love is something that we want because we are always looking for it. Do we need it? Yes and no. I mean we want to be loved but that does not mean that we actually need it. For example nowadays the words I love you really do not have any meaning because they are overused without having any true emotion. You have couples that say I love you to each other, but one or two months later they hate each other and are not talking...then you ask yourself...where did all the love go?

Answer 4

I think that love is a need.

Babies who are not touched and held etc tend to not do well and can die from the lack of attention and lack of caring.

Answer 5

love is love.
lust is want.

Answer 6

why ask it then waste time