And then she claims that I take things too seriously. She makes comments without thinking that they might hurt me, she thinks that I have to accept all the things she says and agree with everything she says when a I am 21 years old.
2007-08-01 10:09:14 · 8 answers · asked by fighter 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother is probably treating you as she was treated by her own mother. She may not be intentionally trying to hurt you, but she doesn't understand how hurting her remarks are. You say that she is "manipulative"? Are her words manipulating or is she actually trying to get you to do things by lying, etc? Be honest with her. Tell her that you would like to have a good relationship with her, but that as long as she acts as she does, that a good relationship may not be possible. Suggest that she think about how she would feel if her mother would have treated her in the same way. Try not to argue with her. Make her see your point of view through logic. Then maybe she will begin to understand and make an attempt to change her ways.
2007-08-01 10:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by hello molly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're still living at home, the 21 years old thing will make no diff to Mom. If her rant is too much to take, make yourself scarce, stay out, stay with friends a few days....
If you're living on your own, stay away for a week or two. Sure, call and say HI, but don't set her off. The separation will probably do you both some good. She doesn't see you as an equal, you're still her subordinate son, who must bend to her ways and her opinions. This is not an easy adjustment, and some mothers never make it(take my mother, for example...!)
2007-08-01 10:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by THX1138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you 21? I couldnt figure out if you are or if you meant when you are 21. I would suggest you concentrate on moving away from her. You need to grow up and cannot do it with her saying those things. Work towards getting a good job which will bring you maturity and then later you will be able to say when she complains she never sees you " Oh mom, I was just trying to spare you since I seem to cause you so much problem and you get upset when I dont agree with you' So thats why I dont spend time with you anymore OR simply dont say anything and enjoy your life
2007-08-01 10:29:12 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I feel for ya, cause I am 30 and my mom still does it to me. She feels free to critisize how I raise my kids, insult my domestic skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.) and likes to make snide remarks about how "big" my rear has gotten in my "old age".
Best thing I can suggest is to give it right back to her. Give her a taste of what she deals out and then when she gets her feelings hurt, point out that she does the same thing to you.
2007-08-01 10:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Cowgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you fill. If she doesn't take you seriously then stay away from her and let her know your not going to stay there and take the abuse. When she can behave herself spend more time with her. It sounds like the mother child roll in your situation has been reversed. Good luck.
2007-08-01 10:29:19 · answer #5 · answered by nola_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. Try to ignore it at first. If that does not work, then maybe sit down with her and explain to her what she does that bothers you. If she does not understand, then maybe you should make plans to move out.
2007-08-01 10:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hey thats how moms can be, i suggest that you say it loud and clear so she can understand .....or if it gets too serious maybe talk to a counselor ...
2007-08-01 10:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by elizacandle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y ont udo teh same to her and if she asks than say well i was joking say wt she says all the time
2007-08-01 11:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jillian B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋