I couldn't care less if I just did the bare minimum to qualify for marriage - i.e. a registry office. Personally i'm not religious, I don't go to Church, but i'd get married in Church just to appease my partner.
Should I have to pay anything at all? 20%? 50%?
2007-08-01 09:52:59 · 18 answers · asked by English Bob 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Nothing has been planned yet, we're not even engaged. We're both living at home with our families.
The cost of a Church wedding in England significantly outweighs that of getting married in a registry office.
If she wants a Church wedding a few years down the line, she has time to save for what she wants. I am of the opinion that I shouldn't have to split with her.
What do you think?
2007-08-01 10:11:01 · update #1
...a marriage is for both of you...once you are married, everything is going to both of yours. so i think you should contribute 50%, it is your wedding too. dividing things is odd, since it's both your monies. so if she spends all her money, then you will have to support you both while she recovers financially.
2007-08-01 09:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well it does not matter if you get married in a church or in the yard, you do need to tip the person that marries you. They say for every dollar you give is another year of you being happily married.
Honestly, I think if it is important for her to get married in a church, then you should do it, and you should split the cost with her 50/50. You are both going into this marriage and everything should be 50/50 no 20/80.
2007-08-01 09:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by Va princess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should still pay 50/50. At the end of the day, you'll be equally married, partners in life, and sharing everything, including finances. Don't make it about money-be happy to have her, and make this compromise for her. If every time you compromise, you feel like she owes you something, you will be setting yourself up for marital problems.
My opinion stays the same. If you decide you want to marry her, you better be prepared to share everything-the good and the bad. Life isn't always candy and roses. Church weddings cost more everywhere. Not just the UK. So you aren't getting any sympathy from anyone. Don't jump the gun, as you said, you're not even engaged yet.
2007-08-01 09:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean, should you have to pay anything? Who's paying for the wedding in the first place? If you're expecting your fiance to pay for everything just because "you're not religious", that's crap. It's your wedding too and you should take some responsibility regardless of where the ceremony is taking place. If her parents are paying for the wedding, then that's something you and your fiance need to discuss with them. You need to find out if they're paying for it 100%, half, etc? Either way, show some class and step up even though it's not your thing to get married in a church.
Edit: I am of the opinion that she should find a new boyfriend. You're being totally selfish and need to rethink marriage because marriage is about compromise and unconditional love and with you, it seems like it's conditional.
2007-08-01 09:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being very selfish. Just because you are not religious, doesn't mean that you should shirk the responsibility of helping to pay for the church wedding. Maybe your parents can help, but to deny your partner a church wedding is unfair. Sounds so cheap..cheap...cheap. What else are you going to deny her? A reception, a honeymoon, an engagement ring? Grow up.
2007-08-03 08:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the same--I'm not religious and my husbands family is. But that rarely has anything to do with the financial situation of a wedding. Traditionally the brides family pays--but these are modern times. You can look up the traditional things the groom/grooms family pays for (rehearsal dinner, brides bouquet, honeymoon)--but what did you guys talk about?
Did her family set a budget that you have gone over? Are you guys paying for it all your own? If thats the case, religious or not in a few more days there won't be "your" money and "her" money--but just a joint use of money.
2007-08-01 10:04:10 · answer #6 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money...after marriage all money is put together...at least in the U.S.A., as far as I know...okay now about the church part...
My parents got married in a church and they attended but how can I say it didn't have a comittment...to the church...
Anyway my mom started going to church on a regular basis and got involved and had committments in the church. Long story short---they divorced not long afterwards.
It usually works better if both people are the same religion. Think about your kids...if you are going to have any...are they going to go to church? Are you going to support your wife? Will you be understanding and go when the kids are doing something special? If the kids really wanted you to would you go for them?
These are all things to consider before getting married to this I'm sure wonderful young lady!!
~Just trying to be helpful!~
-I wish someone would've known to tell my parents!!-
2007-08-01 10:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Shell 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You want to get out of your wedding cheap, is that it?
My partner felt the same as you, he said he would marry me tomorrow down at the courthouse but he knows I want something more so he is more than happy to go thru with it.
He certainly isnt griping about having to pay for it.
Traditionally the groom pays for the church, I think, so it should be 100%
Get a grip. Marriage is all about compromise and pleasing each other and combined finances.
2007-08-01 10:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a selfish wanker and split the cost with her! There are a lot of things you can compromise on and since it is your wedding day too you should contribute to make it special for both of you!
Does she realize that you are this cheap?? Appease your partner?? geez you make it sound like drudgery, it's supposed to be a joyous occasion and if you can't contribute and be happy about it, don't get married!
2007-08-01 13:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt she's genuinely highly religious if she's marrying someone who isn't. The people I know whose faith is very important to them wouldn't be with someone who didn't share it because they would recognize all the personal turmoil and family difficulty inherent to that dynamic of not sharing your beliefs with your spouse (especially when it comes to raising kids). It also really scares me that you want to divvy up expenses like this -- is this how you will approach all your expenses when you're married? It doesn't sound like the best situation to me. If you and your fiance are paying for the wedding, then you should split all the costs based on what you make...
this question doesn't really make sense to me, but then again, neither does marrying someone who doesn't share your own personal beliefs.
2007-08-01 12:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's probably not the best stance and be prepared for a very upset fiance if you tell her you won't help pay for the wedding she wants. Try to compromise on some other things - if she gets the church, you get ____.
2007-08-02 05:14:43 · answer #11 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋