I have a bf, he doesnt have much but the clothes on his back, growing up his parents were just average, a bit poor, both parents never owned a house and he never had a true home and always moving place to place. I hate to say it , but sadly i still live with my parents. My parents worked hard their entire lives, they have their own home and even had another. they always had brand new vehicles and right now, they have three of them, not used crappy ones. I was use to this my entire life. I think my parents are working class and i wouldnt say we are rich. anyway. my bf always points out what is wrong with their possessions and is envious, but not a doer. he always points out to me about his friends cars and they are much more exspensive then my parents, its always better. he says things to me like "my friends mom owns property, and three houses and drives a camaro" is he jealous of my parents??who he is to say anything when he doesnt have 2 cents in his bank account???
2007-08-01 09:49:50 · 14 answers · asked by jen w 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is just envious of your parents and their possessions, and sounds like a little kid who will say anything that his friends have is better than your folks The fact that they worked hard to afford their lifestyle is difficult for him to accept. He will always be envious of what others have unless he gets a job and can emulate your parents lifestyle by earning the things He wants. But he is most comfortable doing nothing and complaining about what others have.
2007-08-01 10:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, sounds like he's jealous and envious of what other people have.
Ya know there are some people in the world that don't have alot of ambition to get out there and accomplish alot in life, which also means they will probably not have very many material things. Just the basics food, clothing, shelter. Hey whatever makes some people happy.
You have to decide something I think, maybe why you told us all about this in the first place was to get other opionions??? Is this the kind of life you want for yourself, a life that is soooo layed back that maybe you'll always wonder when your next meal might be, if the electricity is going to get turned off this month. Worried that if some kind of health problem or emergency comes up that you can get seen by a doctor.
I don't know how old this guy is that your seeing but I think if I was you and your really "into" him that you really find out about this side of him and then you have to ask yourself if you can live with him and without other things.
2007-08-01 10:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by MLJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK he might have some jealousy issues, but have you taken a step back and look at yourself? I bet you never had to struggled growing up....and Maybe he doesn't need to say some of those things.Just reading what you say in this paragraph you don't come across as someone who may understand what it is like to grow up with a struggling lifestyle.. For instance..."they always had brand new vehicles and right now, they have three of them, not used crappy ones."
I am in the same boat you are. I didn't grow up struggling and my parents worked very hard to get were they are,but I do have a boyfriend who pays for everything himself. His parents do not help out at ALL and he moved from place to place. However, I try to understand my boyfriends comments and it made me step back and look at myself. Did you ever think maybe he is wondering...if this does work out will she love me for me or will she leave me if we struggle. Maybe he wants to show you that he can take care of you and he can be surround by the things your parents have.
If you can't handle what he saids then maybe it isn't meant to be
2007-08-01 10:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by jennisea04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few types of people in this world.
1. Those who think they are victims and deserve everything they will not work for. You know "waiting for their ship to come in"
2. Those who work hard and enjoy their lives with little complication and drama and when they want more they work harder.
It's hard for the 2 to see eye to eye.
I did date someone like this. he blew all his money after work at the bar and wanted to know why he had nothing. I am a hard worker and wouldn't spend every penny when I got it and when he was broke. well he figured me or my family could afford to pick him up cuz we had it all. We couldn't because we worked hard for our money and it wasn't so he could blow all his and ours. He also hated my stuck up rich friends (and by no means did i think that we were rich)
We didn't last long and this is 12 years later and I'm not sad at all!!!
Ps I've ran into him a couple years ago and he said "well well well what do i owe this to? I see you still have your fancy this and that"
He's looking pretty tired and old... with all the same complaints.
Good luck
2007-08-01 10:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by lildulagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad story....I can't understand why he does this... What makes him do this? Do you always nag him or compare the status of your family against his family? Do you always make things that belittles him? or maybe point out to him that his family is way too inferior against your family?... Men are soooo sensitive in this aspect... If your answer is NO!...then,.....
Maybe your bf is still immature in a lot of way...How old is he? ....Maybe he is envious of those family who's life is in a better condition than them but doesn't have the right attitude to address his envy....Maybe he really loves material things but does not have enough will or have the right stuff to get what he wants....Why don't you ask him if he has something against your family?.... If he can always see that other family is better than yours..then this makes me wonder...were there times that he thinks that the girls from other family is much better than the "girl" in your family?....Hmmmnnn,...its just a wishful thinking though........
2007-08-01 10:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is trying to fix his inferiority complex by living through his friends' money. I wouldnt worry about it... I would probably sit him down one day and just flat out explain to him that you really dont care about any of that, but if he does, he's with the wrong girl.
its not his fault he feels inferior... he had a different life than yours and probably wished he grew up like you did. Just be there for him, try to get his head right and really make it seem like you really dont care about that stuff... and if he cant let it go, then he has bigger problems than you do.
2007-08-01 09:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men can't handle when a woman or even the person they are dating may have more or been exposed to things they were not. It's kind of like they feel you may think you are better than them or look down on them, when that's not even the case, probably the furthest thing from your mind. But in their mind, they have to make themselves seem to be some what better or make you feel that you aren't better than they are, when you aren't even trying to act like that. It's a pride and ego trip he is on. It's no reflection off of you but if he keeps up with the comment, you may need to ask him what his deal is & help him to know that this isn't about who has what and when they have obtained it..
2007-08-01 09:56:03 · answer #7 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is definitely jealous! Just ask him "why do you keep point this stuff out it's weird you tell me all the time how rich your parent's friends are", maybe it will make him think twice about saying stuff in future. He is probably trying to make up for the fact his parents are poorer.
2007-08-01 09:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hoodrat syndrome..
those who do without, envy a culture that flosses...their values are backwards from having to do without their whole lives...
give "person A" $10,000 and if he's smart he'll sock it away in his 401K..or an IRA ..something tax sheltered to get the most out of the $10,000....
give it someone with the hoodrat syndrome...well they have never had $10,000 so the first thing there gonna do is buy something that shows everyone else their doing better than the next guy.....
somethin like ***** rims or new cd player...
its from doing without...
2007-08-01 10:05:08 · answer #9 · answered by roy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's dealing with some jealousy issues. I would have an open discussion with him about ho hi behavior bothers you and ho it negatively affects your relationship.
It doesn't sound like he might not even be aware of the way his comments are coming across. So, it's best to resolve the mater now than to allow it time to grow.
2007-08-01 09:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋