i dont feel depressed but i still self-harm?

Question

i have cut myself about once every week or two weeks for about a couple of months now. I use a pin, and even though it doesnt always draw blood, it is quite deep. I go through fases of feeling guilty after i have done it, then strange and isolated. I scare myself by thinking about it constantly. Two of my friends know, they want to help me stop, but why do i not want to stop cutting?
i find that i like the marks they make and i get excited when i draw blood, but then again when i do cut i go all kind of blank.
i think i am an attention seeker, even though i try to hide my scars and cuts.
if there are any other cutters who are willing to share their stories or can advise me, please do. Im lost

I just turned 15. i have a huge family, but i feel like i cant talk to anyone.

Answer 1

if you ever need to talk...or just to remove some weight of your shoulders......contact me....some people say i am a really good listener ..and have a big shoulder to cry on..

Answer 2

The most important thing to remember is that depression is a mental ILLNESS. Theres not enough of a certain chemical in your brain being produced (i forget the name of it). You could have the best luck in life ever and still be depressed, there doesnt always have to be a certain triggering event or a horrible life to develop it. If you want to try and stop self harming before you see someone, next time you get the urge to cut, get an ice cube and press it against your wrist or wherever you prefer to cut and hold it there until it melts - it gives the same rush, just try it! Or you could wear a rubberband around your arm and snap it a few times. Its still self-harm but better than cutting! Everyone deserves to live and get better, I think you deserve it, you seem like a wonderful person and I hope you do get better :) good luck

Answer 3

I also do self harm behaviors. Its been over a year and I have learned some things about it. Its different for everyone. If a person cuts its not like a person wants attention from it because a person can get attention so very many different ways other than hurting oneself. Theres a problem thats hidden when a person does this or they are used to getting hurt or they think they deserve to be punished. No matter what the reason is though it doesnt make the wanting to hurt oneself any less desirable. You need to get professional help for this before you cut to deep and really injure or kill yourself. This will make you be able to learn new and better ways of coping with things. It will probably even find new ways to get excited other than hurting yourself.

Answer 4

Ive been cutting for about 8 months, before that I used to bang my head against the wall, hit myself with things try to fall down the stairs, Everything I could think iof to cause me pain. Ive also overdosed a few timmes.

However Once the immediate feeling is over, you go back to feeling (or not feeling) as bad as before so it is really not a good solution.

I suggest going to try and get help form somewhere. Preferably a proffesional but I know form my own experiences that I could talk much more easily to a specific friend than to any health proffesional because i was more relaxed in her company.

However if you do want to talk to someone like a friend make sure to tell them that they can speak to someone else about it if necessary bc otherwise, they may not be able to cope and could become depressed themselves.

Be careful and make sure to clean the cuts.

P.S. Masturbation does not work and nor do any of the other techniques for stopping, I know I've tried them all. The only one that helps slightly is drawing with a red pen. Draw what ever you want and you can duig deepand it doenst cut you so...

Answer 5

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad...
Going through something like this is so tough so its great that u have friends around that are willing to help!...
I can tell you that you certainly arent an attention seeker...
Even if it is because you like the attention there will be some reason for that...not just because you like it...
Im 16 and currently self harm, however no-one knows this...Im currently at the stage where self harm is just a habit/addiction rather than something that takes away the pain!...
You say you dont feel depressed...but u still harm...
I went through a very long period of thinking that...so did my family!...
Because it started through bulliying my family assumed that as soon as the bullying started so would the self harming but its deeper than that...
The reasons why you started hurting yourself are still going to be inside of you even if they arent obvious...even if you think they are in the past...You say after youve cut you feel guilty...isolated...you go blank...these are all good signs of depression!...
I too have a very big family...personally i think this makes it harder to talk to anyone...people assume the more people there the more people you can talk to but unfortunatly this isnt true!...
Although it may be hard i think you should go to your dr and get some help...or just have a chat...anything will be better than going on like this right?...
I wish you all the best...
Take care and stay strong...
Xox...
Feel free to email me if you want to chat...x

Answer 6

You say you don't feel depressed, but there is probably an underlying problem at the back of your mind that is making you feel bad, without you realising it. (ok that made no sense whatsoever, but i can't say what i mean!) and i highly doubt you are an attention seeker as you hide your cuts - an attention seeker would show them off - though you may, inside, hope that someone sees your cuts so that you can get help. ( i often feel like blurting out and showing people my cuts to show how i really feel)

i'm not sure why you cut. has something been stressing you out lately? has something happened to make you feel bad, particularly about yourself? Can you remeber why, or what caused you to make that first cut? you need to try and find out why you do it so that it can be solved. also it is dangerous, as i'm sure you know, as it WILL scar and depending on where you cut it can be life threatening. it is also worrying that you get excited over blood, as this means you are more likely to cut deep to make it bleed, making it even more dangerous. as you get addicted (which is partly why you may not want to stop), you will gradually become desensitised, and will press harder, which can become very dangerous. another reason you may not want to stop is because it is giving you a sense of control over whatever may be happening in your life.

A key thing is for you to stop before you become completely addicted and gain many scars. The best thing to do is to see a doctor/psychiatrist/councellor so that you can get professional help. if not, you need to find an alternative that works for you. see my question on alternatives:

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiDu9YoTVipN008DXBePhSEhBgx.?qid=20070521093333AAM2Roj

or email me for more ideas. to try and stop completely set yourself a short goal of a time to go without cutting, then when you reach this goal, treat yourself (no cutting), for encouragement. then set a longer goal, and so on, until you stop.

i'm a cutter, and i don't really have a story - basically i just hate myself and punish myself, and i think i am suffering from depression,i have no hope in life and can't see the point to this life. i need help but haven't got it yet. (possible social anxiety doesn't help.)

Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat, or for info or advice. there are many people here that understand what it is like. you are not alone.

Stay strong, stay safe.

Answer 7

I self harm and have done for years.
I was 13 when i first started and i am 31 now. Yep i had feelings of rag inside me and cutting was like a major realese for me and i felt better but it would not last though and i would sneak of and do it again.
My arms and right leg have scars so bad i am being constantly being asked what i have done.
I dont hide my scars, people take me as they find me.
I AM A SURVIVER
Dont feel ashamed many people do it, it is just not widely know that is all.
I would go blank to and feel no pain and would be in a complete daze even when my poor hubby cleaned me up with anti bac wipes i would not feel the stinging and he would look at me with tears in his eyes.
It hurts your family just as much as you are hurting.
Does your parents know?
Your freinds can only be there for you to talk to and help with advice, but really it is alot for them to handle. I dont know how old you are but you really do need to talk to someone as to why you do this.
I have very slowly started to turn away from self harm and do something else instead when i get these feelings.
Try drawing , walking, drums anything. I shaved my hair off one day, then i walked and walked, then i cleaned the house from top to bottom.
Mine was abuse when i was 13 and being unable to talk about it that was my only relase and my way of asking for help. Sadly no-one saw and it is only now things have come to a head.
You are NOT attention seeking you need help and advice.
If you want to chat you can contact me i dont mind.

Take care.

Answer 8

I am going through exactly the same thing as you, I have been a cutter for 8 months, I have the exact same feelings of excitement when I look at my cuts and scars. I go through blank moments whilst doing it and feel absolutely no pain. I have been told that sometimes the reason for self-harm is control, it is when you feel that you can't control the things that are happening in your life, whereas the cutting is something that you can. Try not to keep it all bottled up.

I hope that this has helped, and you overcome your problem, and don't worry you are not alone. Please feel free to contact me if you wanna talk.

Answer 9

I've had depression since I was 12 and I'm 19 now. I was cutting myself from when it stared to about 6 months ago and Im so so proud of myself. So that does prove that you CAN stop even though theres a lot of replies with people who can't. Over the last 2 years I wasnt doing it much at all cos it really upset my boyfriend, but I would get really angry with myself occassionally and it was the only thing that made me feel better. Before, I was doing it every day about ten times at a time on both arms with anything sharp and couldn't stop myself doing it. I am only able to talk about it now too, before I couldnt and I still cant takl about it in person. Anyway, definately seek help from a doctor who can refer you to a counsellor. And if you can't bring yourself to do that ring one of those helplines cos they can help too. I now have terrible scars all over my arms and hands though so really do stop as soon as you can cos I hate the scars now and wish I'd stopped sooner. I hate people asking me about them too. Holding ice in your hands is supposed to be areally good alternative cos it's really painful but doesnt do you any damage. I dont think youre attention seeking though or you wouldnt be covering them up. And you might not feel depressed (I doint now but i know i am) but you could well be.
Good luck :) and please please stop and get counselling it really is the best thing.

Answer 10

i'm not a cutter, but my friend did the same thing you did, exept more often.
she felt guilty after she did it and that made her feel worse, so she just cut herself again.
just think of it this way.
cutting doesn't get you anwhere.
it just makes you feel worse.


you might not want to stop because you like the attention, or you like having a secret.
or you think it is a good way to relieve stress.

there are other ways.
like puching your pillow or something like that.
believe me, when my friend stopped cutting she felt alot better and she's a much happier person now
:)

Answer 11

Thanks to Breene for the link. www.nshn.co.uk is one I discovered a while ago, as I've been self-harming on and off for most of my life (I'm in my early forties now). I'm going through stressful times at the moment. I find I'm feeling fine one day and irrational the next. I don't post to the NSHN group very often but it's good to get things of your chest. IM me if you'd like to chat anytime.