Is it wrong to consider not marrying someone I love dearly due to excessive debt, (50,000 +)?

Answer 1

WOW!! I know I wouldn't. Have you ever heard of Suze Orman? That financial guru that has a show on one of the cable networks? (I think it's on MSNBC)

Well, she seems to think that it is just plain common sense not to enter into a relationship where one of the partners is so irresponsible with money. Think about the future... What if his ways never change and he drags YOU into debt as well?

By the way... what about doing it and not having any bank accounts or credit cards under both of your names? That seems to be a sensible solution to your problem. Keep the man AND your money.

I hope it all works out for you all though.


Namaste!

@}--.-------

Answer 2

That would probably depend on what kind of debt we're talking about. I am getting married in less than a month and my fiancee has over $50,000 in student loans from getting her Ph.D. That doesn't scare me much because she is responsible and making timely payments on the loans. If she had $50,000 in credit card debt, I might be a little more hesitant because that shows a very big lack of responsibility, not what I would be looking for in the future mother of my children. In the end however, love is blind and some money problems shouldn't get in the way, as long as your partner is being responsible enough to take of the hole they dug themselves, because when you get married, that's your hole too.

Answer 3

Not at all. Marriage requires more than just love. In fact, the idea that love is the number one requirement for marriage is really just a contemporary one. In many cases, people would marry for a variety of reasons including monetary and social gain. If you feel that you need financial security in order to be married, then by all means do not get married to this person. If you marry someone with an enormous amount of debt, then that debt becomes yours as well, if you don't want it don't get married.

Answer 4

No.
Honestly starting a marriage with someone with that much debt is just begging for a divorce...money is the primary cause of divorce in America. My wife had quite a bit of debt and though I married her and I love her dearly that was a painful pill for me to swallow. When you marry, their debt will likely become yours and that amount is a HUGE amount to overcome. I wouldn't even consider if they hadn't given me any signs of changing their spending ways.

Now that said...it the debt was due to a medical condition beyond their control then I might reconsider my stance!

Answer 5

Wow that is a tough one. You should think about it this way. What does his debt tell us about his character? If it was from student loans to me that would be understandable. If there was an accident that would be ok! Find out what the money was spent on. Does he have anything to show for it? How people spend thier money really does tell you a lot about the person’s character that you'd never know other wise. After you find the truth then you'll know if it is wrong or not.

Answer 6

My mother and I have had this discussion as I am in a similar boat with my girlfriends mother having racked up a lot of debt in her name. The thing is $50,000 is a lot of debt and the early stages of marriage are incredibly difficult as you not only have your financial worries to consider but your partners as well. In this country a great deal of divorces stem from monetary issues. My advice to you would be to discuss this issue with your loved one and inform them how this makes you feel. You cannot possibly marry him or her until you discuss matters such as these and find out where the two of you stand. None the less, do not rule out marrying him/her right away!

Answer 7

each and every of the economic counselors i've got examine say to place off the marriage till the debt is cleared or you're inquiring for difficulty. (word: if the debt is as a results of a automobile purchase or a house purchase this is no longer considered one of those pink flag yet whilst that's through spending types that exceed earnings (ie eating places, trip trips, or conventional stuff) then that's a diverse concern.) in basic terms keep in mind that any debt he runs up after the marriage is a million/2 yours (and additionally you would be saddled with it if the marriage fails.) make confident that that's quite the quantity of debt additionally--some admit to a pair debt in straight forward terms to have lots greater debt than they admitted to. good success.

Answer 8

Who's debt? His or yours? If it's because of his, maybe take some time and help him set up a plan to begin to pay this off, if in x amount of time he has made no effort to pay towards it and has created MORE debt, well then he is not willing to work towards keeping you.

If this is because of YOUR debt, talk to him about this, and see how he truely feels. You may be surprised.

But I wouldn't judge you for not getting married because of debt, love fades sometimes, sad as that is, look at the divorce rate. If it is important to you that he be out of debt, and in a position to take care off and support you, then don't compromise your ideals, it will catch up with you later.

Answer 9

No, it's not wrong, it's sensible. No matter how much you loved him, sooner or later you may start hating him due to all the financial worry which will then be hanging around your neck. Look after your own interests, say you'll marry him if and only if he manages to get rid of the debt.

Answer 10

The number one reason couples divorce is money. Debt will put a strain on any relationship. It is not wrong to take his debt under consideration. Creditors will look to you to bail him out if he falls short. You do not need that on your credit rating.
Help him out of his hole if you can, even if it's moral support or help managing his funds. See a lawyer, file a prenup and keep your finances separate. I know they say 'for richer or poorer' but protect yourself. True love doesn't pay the bills