My child died of cancer, and now I'm angry at God!?

Question

This guy earlier asked how God could let his child die of cancer. Well i gave my answer, which was cold but honest.

All he could do was complain and be angry, while understandable, doesn't help anything.

I wasn't answering as a christian, rather as a fellow human being... but he could only spout anger.

I told him he should stop being angry and do something good with his life, and honor his childs memory by volunteering to help other children with cancer, disease, or disability.

He could only respond with anger and call me a b-i-t-c-h. I then told him it was a good thing that his child didn't get to see what kind of horrible person his father became...

So who is right... whether a believer or non-believer.

Answer 1

sorry but God didnt make cancer
my mom also died of it..

Answer 2

I wish I had a concrete answer for that question that would give comfort - fact is though - I don't. But what I do know is that Gods ways are not our ways- and though we strive to understand- we cannot because we do not know the mind of God. Here are some Bible verses that give some insight to this and perhaps a little comfort.: Psalm 39 2 Sam 12:19-23 Mark 10:13-16 Matt 18:1-6, 10-14 Luke 18: 15-16 2 Cor 1: 3-4 REV 21 :2-4 Psalm 27:13-14 Psalm 103: 13-14 Isaiah 40: 10-11 Jeremiah 31: 15-16 Naum 1: 7 If you want to be angry with God over this- go ahead- He will let you- But if you want to understand why- Talk to God about it and see what He reveals to you. All I know is that Jesus made a promise to never leave not forsake us - and that He goes thorugh everything with us- He even feels this littl girls pain and give her comfort as He comforts her family while they go through this. Just glimpse at some of the scriptures I gave you and see if you can take a peek into the mind of God.

Answer 3

What do want a cookie? Leave the poor guy alone to grieve. You don't know what it is like until it has happened to you and hopefully it will never happen but more likely than not it will because that is life. Then look at your answer and see if you would like someone to tell you that! Edit: I also just saw your lame answer and you not only called him an idiot but a horrible person! What does that make you? Do you actually think that you will get sympathy?I will not go to your level and criticize you about your loss but you are no one to judge. Let him have his anger! It is not up to you to tell people how to grieve! That is the problem with you religious people you cannot seperate yourselve as a believer or nonbeliever. and now you are feeling guilty why else would you come and ask this lame question to try to redeem yourself. I sense some bitterness in your part! You need to apologize to him! Poor guy!

Answer 4

When you lose someone that you love very much ,whether its a child-husband mother-anyone who has your heart, anger is an honest emotion. I lost a loved one last year. At times I still say Why??? My niece's baby was stillborn at 5 months. She was devastated. She was very angry for a while. You gave really good advice-but it was too soon. Some people like to hold on to the anger-that takes away any guilt they may feel. But if I was you I would forget it. Your advice was good. He just didn't want an honest answer or help. Some people are like that and him calling you a that was uncalled for. I wouldn't of told him what you did on the last. That just made it worse. Believer or not. Decency should still avail.

Answer 5

who is right? im not sure its even about that. your stance on it, as far as contributing to the well being of others in a meaningful way related to the cause of his childs death is a reasonable suggestion/opinion, and it does work well for some people, once they are ready to embark in such volunteerism.

i didnt see his original post, maybe you can provide a link. his greiving is still very intense and stuck in anger mode. whether it is directed at god, or you, or anything else - he is responsible for his actions and his angry lashing out. let him deal with that and own it, you know?

it was pretty mean, in my opinion, to tell him it was a good thing his child didn't get to see what kind of horrible father his father became. i might have responded similarly, but it is very unkind and vicious, even.

were you answering him as someone who has lost a child? a child's death is something i could never even wrap my mind around, or imagine so well that i could feel even a bit of what that does to a person's heart and spirit. calling you names because of what you suggested is out of line, also in my own opinion. that's taking it too far, which it seems you both did.

((peace))

Answer 6

I don't think there is a right and wrong in this situation. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I believe it would literally kill me. I also never feel like I have the right words to say to someone who is grieving. His anger is normal, not necessarily because you said something wrong (I don't really know if you did since we are only getting your side). Maybe you said something that hit a nerve with him. Maybe he doesn't want to be angry but does not yet know how to stop those feelings. Either way, I don't think you deliberately meant to upset him and I can sympathize with his reaction and only guess how much he is hurting. Don't hold it against him and hopefully he will not hold it against you.

God Bless.

Answer 7

I am sorry, but this line right here, "Do you think your child would want you to act this way? No, Idiot! " leads me to believe his assessment of you is correct. Seriously, how dare you?

A child dying of cancer is a great deal different than a parent dying of cancer. I'm sorry if you can't see that, but it's the truth. We all expect to lose our parents, just as we all expect to die before our children. Regardless of our expectations in life, things *will* happen that we cannot control. That certainly doesn't lessen the pain of it! Where is your compassion?!

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, and for you to call this person, in his pain, an idiot... I don't care if you were answering as a Christian, as a "fellow human being", or as God himself... you were wrong. Period.

Answer 8

You just can't respond to everyone as a fellow human being. Lord knows there a people in real life who want to be miserable and blame all their troubles on others and will attack you for pointing out that there are other alternatives or more proactive ways to make their lives better. Look you offered your honest opinion and some very viable alternatives that really would make him feel better. Won't replace his child - nothing ever will or could - but it would maybe make him feel that her death was not completely in vain.

His anger toward you is unjustified (in my humble opinion), but he's got a lot of anger about his child's death and will unleash it anywhere he feels that he can - I can only imagine how much he is hurting.

Let the namecalling go and move on. You offered what you could. You don't seem like a B to me!

Ok, you're wrong too. I just went and read that question and your answer - you call him an idiot in your answer - you're just as guilty of the namecalling as he is. Much of what you said had a good point, but your delivery was awful!

Answer 9

hmm

maybe dont make it abotu being wrong and right

he lost his child and is angry and grieving

im not sure how long ago he lost the child, but perhaps telling him he should stop being angry came off as insensitive to him, who is suffering.

that is not to say your advice may not be exactly what he needs to hear now, to act on later perhaps.

maybe the problem is that you had an expectation of a certain response. If you speak from your heart then just let it go. Just like I will do with you now.

God Bless

Answer 10

Are you wondering whose right for how they are acting? Him for being mad or you for being honest about him?

If thats the case you probably shouldn't have said what you did at the end, he did just loose his son, it would be hard, you've gotta be understanding, and caring, help him not hurt him. He's wrong for being mad at God of course cause God has a reason for everything and will not take a soul until they've done what they were put here to do, and so his son must have helped someone whether he knows it or not. God is will show mercy to every man, woman, and child. Love him with all your heart, and don't hate, hate is a sin. You both need to take it easy, you for being a little harsh, and him for being mad with the only one that can ever take him to be with his son.
God Bless You

PS-If you are a christian you show it in all you do, not just in church, then you a hip-a-crit. You got to make a stand for Jesus everyday, not when you want to.

Answer 11

Psalm 90:12
"So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."

Sorry for your loss. The death of a child is heartbreaking.
The Psalm above literally tells us to live every day to the fullest, and know that each of us has a specific number of days, a specific number of times our hearts shall beat.

Scripturally, flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God. Sometimes it is through seemingly drastic measures that God says to His own, "It's time to come home to Me."
The flesh must die so that we can be with Him. Your child and his child have lived, and somehow accomplished all that each of them were destined to be and to do. This has been a challenge to faith, and a test for bitterness and anger.

Ecclesiastes 3 is the basis for an old Simon & Garfunkle song. Neither you, nor this guy that wrote will ever forget your children. But the Believer goes on in hope, in compassion, and in empathy.

Condolences to you, and blessings FOR you!