Muslim women who share their husband with another woman?

Question

May I ask a few questions if you don't mind

1) Be honest we are women and perhaps the most jealous of the two genders. Do you often get jealous and wish the other wife or the other two or three would vanish?
2) If you were the first wife did your husband tell you that he was seeking another woman and ask for your view and opinon. If not how did that make you feel? If you agreed to it, why did you?
3) And finally one for the men who have more than one wife. I know it is Islamically permissible, but why have you chosen to remarry? Do you not think of the emotional consequences it has on women or do you simply not care.

I know there are loads of questions but I'd really appreciate it if you could answer them all. Jazak-allahu Khaar.

Libyan amoona what on earth are you talking about?

Ugh...where are all the people that this question is relevant to? I hate when people post such meanigless answers.

Answer 1

I'm not in a polygamous marriage and I don't think I could ever be in one, but after I became Muslim I wanted to learn, of course. So I joined a Yahoo group for Muslim women (no men allowed on the group to avoid pervs) who were in polygamous marriages. Each situation was different and had its own circumstances. Some women were really falling apart because of it, and others were totally happy with their decisions. In some cases I saw that jealousy was a huge problem and alot of games were played and people were played with. In other cases, the co-wives were completely happy with their situation and most were best friends. I remember reading about a sister who would team up with her co-wife against her husband for jokes and games, share in housework, and were really light-hearted about everything. They were the perfect match for polygamous marriages. Some of the wives helped the husband search for the right co-wife, and one of the sisters even suggested it to her husband to find a second wife, lol!
Unfortunately it isn't always so bright and shiny for some, and I don't think I would be able to handle it myself, but for others it works out pretty well. I know you were looking for something a little more specific, but this was the best I could do and you didn't really have that many answers related to the questions you asked. Hopefully it helped you a little. :-)

Answer 2

You seem to be the person with very low IQ. Whatever you have cited- a friend's hand, smell of petrol or moving wind etc, all these emanates from physical objects. But absurdly your Allah or God is never found in physical form hence the analogy is senseless and without any application of mind. Your are highly prejudeiced by unscientific thinking.

Answer 3

I think everyone who has answered this question before me, Muslims included, are taking a sexual standpoint on the issue. Life is not about sex. My best friend has two wives. His first wife couldn't have children. Should he divorce her to marry a woman who can give him children? We are not talking about junior high, here. This is a situation that should only be considered by those who are mature enough to handle adult relationships. I know I will probably anger many of the other Muslims here, but come on, who are you, really? I hate it when Muslims try to go "mainstream". Let's face it, we will never be "mainstream" because "mainstream" is evil and godless. The harder we try, the farther we will fall from the true definition of Islam. If the Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings of Allah subha'ana wa ta'ala be forever upon him) says it is permissible, do you want to answer for second guessing him? I don't, I have enough to explain at the end. There are situations where polygamy is not only acceptable, but the better alternative. If it fits your circumstances, it is good. If it doesn't, it is not good, which is basically what the Quran says about it. But Brothers and Sisters, please, PLEASE, do not slip into the habit of relating everything to a sexual nature, that is base and below us. And all Muslims know that the original wife must agree to the second, the first two must agree to a third, etc, without compulsion from the husband.

Answer 4

I was wondering the same thing the other day when I read a question posted by a woman her stated that she had a co-wife. I hope you get some good answers...I'll be checking back.

Answer 5

Good Question...
one answer
THERE IS NO HUMAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH TODAY THAT CAN OBEY THE ORDERS OF HAVING MORE THAN 1 WIFE CONDITIONS THAT COME WITH THAT SITUATION.

NOT EVEN THE KING OF THE GREATEST LAND CAN TREAT THEIR FAMILY LIKE THE PROPHET SAW DID...I have never seen anyone like him and I will never see anyone like him again ameen.

besides they had 10000 wives and treated them all Equally - EQUALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!! hahaha

4 and no more.. I have yet to see a man that can do 2 in my life... maybe you have but i have not see him.. and the women that accepts that is greater than any women on the face of this earth... Salam

Answer 6

I am Muslim woman.
I believe that there is NO WAY to be just a number in a man's life.
Polygamy is a ristricted and limited concept in Islam, which has been abused all the time by Muslim men around the world.

Peace!

Answer 7

so lets get this straight, if a women is unable to have babies, a muslim husband will take a second wife? or third, or forth? how does that work in reverse? what happens when the husband cant produce babies? does the women then marry a second husband? Strange religion that treats its people so badly!

Answer 8

In the Qu'ran it says to have one wife. The only reason why more wives was permisable was because wars would kill off their husbands and rather than living alone and having to care for themselves they can marry a man who has a wife already and be cared for by him.

Answer 9

While I know what the the Holy Qu'ran says on the subject, I think (and my imam agree's) that it was said meaning that a man should only have 1 wife because there is no way to treat and love more than 1 woman equally. However, there are a lot of different thoughts on this with a lot of different imams saying different things. I don't know the sh'ia take on this either as I am Sunni.

Answer 10

the women accept it as it means they will get to keep their kids and not be sent home to their family alone. a divorced woman would never find another husband in islamic culture and would therefore remain on her own without her children (men automatically get custody except in few cases) and if she wants the divorce not him she would not get her dowry. i wonder how many would accept it if this was not the case and they had the same rights as us.