Ok, we are having a casual beach wedding! I paid for my bridesmaids outfits, flip flops, earrings, jewelry, and bought them a gift to give them at the wedding! They have no had to pay for anything at all, not even hosting showers or bachlorette parties, nothing. I have five bridesmaids! I am planning on getting a manicure and pedicure 2 days before the wedding. One of the girls said she really wants to go...and she had to say it around the other 4 girls----so, I would be rude to take one girl with me and not the rest of the bridesmaids. So, I said to anyone, well, I am leaving at 5:30 on Aug. 27 if anyone wants to go, meet me at my house. That does not mean in any way that I am paying for every girl. No way. Now, I am in a mess----if they call saying they seriously want to go, how do I tell them that I cannot pay for their pedicures and manicures? The idea was that it was my wedding, and I was the one needed a manicure and pedicure.
2007-08-01 06:59:29 · 15 answers · asked by JJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I invited them so they could feel like they were included somehow in everything going on. But anyhow, I already paid for everything they need to be a part of my wedding, manicures and pedicures are not mandatory and I just don't want them coming along and then saying I am paying for everything. I am having the same situation with hair! Everyone thinks I should just take the bill for all 6 of us, but I cannot financially do that and take care of everything else I have already bought for them. Please tell me how to handle this situation! What can I say to let them know I cannot pay for their pedicures, manicures, and hair styles if they want them for the wedding??
2007-08-01 07:01:44 · update #1
The manicures, pedicures----are not mandatory, I just want to look pretty myself, so that is why I want them! The hair styles are whatever they want! I am getting my hair done cause I cannot do pretty hair on myself. I dont care if they get it done or do it theirselves, nothing has to be all the same! I just dont want to upset them!
2007-08-01 07:10:31 · update #2
I've been in numerous weddings and always paid for my own manicures, pedicures and hairstyles. Call everyone and say:
I'm just calling to let you know that if you're coming on the 27th with me manicures cost $___, and pedicures $____. Also, if you want to get your hair done where I am it costs $____, but you can do your own hair or go wherever you want.
2007-08-01 10:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aren't your bridesmaids supposed to be friends? Also, why haven't they paid for anything? I mean, c'mon - that's all part of the bridesmaids' obligations. They should NOT expect for you to pay for the manicures/pedicures.
Most salons will need reservation for a large group. So use that as the basis of an email or conversation. Send each person a price list and ask them to tell you what services they want done. And be clear in saying that you'll coordinate, but will not be footing the bill.
2007-08-01 14:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by curious gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been a bridesmaid in 5 weddings and I never expected the bride to pay for any part of my outfit, shoes, hair, jewelry, etc.... If your girls expect you to fit the bill for everything then they are nuts! Just be upfront with them, I don't think they will be upset. The sooner the better though cause if they are expecting you to pay for something and they get there and you aren't then you might have a problem. I think you have been more than generous and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Have a great wedding!
2007-08-01 14:24:37 · answer #3 · answered by sjmnstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they are your bridesmaids and they should also be your friends...sit them down or invite them over your house for a movie and some relax time before the wedding. Explain to them that all the dresses are paid for and that you would love their company when you get your mani and pedi however cannot afford to pay for it. Let them know it is optional.
HOWEVER for the hair if you want them to all have it one way or up-dos I think you should pay. If you are open to them doing it on their own then getting their hair professionally done is an option. Let them know that. Jus tbe polite when you say this. Then switch the subject back to the movie
2007-08-01 14:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by MS.veronica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I would go under the assumption that they don't expect it. Seriously I would tell them (as they tell you they would like to go) that the appointment is for this day and time and according to the brochure it should be around $35. That way they know.
Same with the hair. I would be telling them that they don't have to get their hair done and that you are getting your hair done at this location. If they would like they can get their hair done at the same time. Most hair salons only have 2 people who do up-dos (if your wedding party is having it) so it would be impossible for all 6 of you to get your hair done at the same time. But as far as hair goes--i would tell them that you know the place you're going is expensive. Tell them the price and that you know of several other salons in the area if they would like a cheaper place. Give them the number of several different salons, and they can call and make their own appointments. Remind them they are free to do their own hair if they'd rather, but you wanted to give them info on the salons just in case they wanted to get it done professionally.
Saying it like that automatically implies that there is no way you would drive to 5 different salons just to pay for their hairstyles. But as they don't live in that beach area, it's nice to give them some places to make the appointment if they want.
Honestly I dont think they even expect you to pay for everything. I'm sure they are very grateful you are paying for the dresses and accessories--but its your wedding. Just b/c you decide to have professionals, doesn't mean you would be expected to provide the services to everyone. I think the bridesmaid that mentioned it probably would just like to get a pedi and mani as well--not that she expects you to pay!!
Just be upfront and tell them the prices of each service they ask about.
2007-08-01 14:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them. they have gotten off really easy for being bridesmaids. Tell them that you would love for them to go with you to get your nails done however you cant pay for it. The wedding is coming close and you are strapped right now trying to get everything handeled. they will understand trust me. weddings are not cheap. Are you making the girls have a speacial hair do or letting them do it how they want. If its how they want to do it then that should be enough said that they have to take care of their own hair. If its how you want it to be done see if you have them all done at the same salon if the salon will give you some kind of a discount and tell the girls that you need each of them to contribute ___ amount for their hair to be done or pay for it themselves.
2007-08-01 14:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't think you should pick up the tab for the manicures and pedicures for all of you. When someone calls to say they seriously want to come, just say, "Great, I'm going to SUCH& SUCH Salon, pedicures are $25 and manicures are $45 (or whatever) and they take major credit cards". See you at 5:30 sharp.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-08-01 14:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Girl, that's nothing to be stressing over. You were nice enough to pay for everything else. I was in a wedding just last month as a bridesmaid and I had to pay for everything!!! Dress, shoes, hair, nails, and toes. All our bride bought us was our accessories. Your girls should be greatful. Let them know, you did them a favor by paying everything else, so the hair and nails is up to them.
2007-08-01 14:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by qtea4real 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you already told them they can join you, you can't really back out on that.
However, explain to them as soon as possible that they can join you, but they are responsible for footing their own bill for any manicure, pedicure, or hair style they receive.
Just be honest and upfront about it. If any of them get pouty, ignore it. They are probably just expecting you to pay since you paid for everything else.
2007-08-01 14:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by elsie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what cheap little friends you have! gosh, if they can not pay to get their nails done any other time of the year, why would they make you do it now. even if you WERE made of money, this is still rather rude. and to invite themselves along plah. i think you stated it good, that you left the invitation open meaning you are not paying in advance. even if they do not know they SHOULD PAY, i would not pony up more cash. it's the LEAST they can do!!!
i feel so bad for you, you sound like you have bridesmaidszillas.
2007-08-01 14:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋