I just started dating my best guy friend. We've known each other for 8 years. We have so much in common except that he looks at porn and women on myspace. I'm not sure what else he does. But he feels really bad about his addictions to this and is trying his best not to do it. But do you think people can really change their ways? I am very skeptical.
2007-08-01 06:58:56 · 31 answers · asked by AmandaHugNKiss 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, but God can change him. Prayer and the desire to change works together. Pornography is difficult to stop because it's so accessable. Your ability to deal with his failure is important. Please look online for a 12 step program in your area. PA may help you and him.
Pornagraphy is actually the desire to look at perverted images. I agree that most men desire to look at unclad women.
2007-08-01 07:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Ju ju 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The problem is finding the difference between growing up and actually changing...
People grow up and change their ways.... if you look back at life 5 years ago, Im sure everything is different for you.
But as for actually changing.... I dont think so.
Its being able to tell the difference though, which I'm still trying to do myself.
2007-08-01 14:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Julie S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change. The only thing that is going to make the different from somebody reaching there goal and not is the resound for doing it in the first place. If he is doing in it for himself he will most like change, but if he is doing in it for somebody else then most like he will not change. He needs to look in side of himself and see how he really wants to be.
2007-08-01 14:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by lopez 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They can only change there ways if they truly want to, they can't do it for anyone else. My boyfriend looks at porn and other girls, but I don't let it bother me to much, when I first started dating him he did it way more, and i've been noticing that he doesn't as much anymore. so sometimes it could just fase out.
2007-08-01 14:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by Chey_18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL Silly girl.
He has no reason to change-- you've known this and date him anyway. He's not trying to change, he just said that because it keeps you dating him.
On a side note- why oh why do so many women decide to get romantically involved with their "friends"? Are there no men around anymore? It's been 8 years, why now?
2007-08-01 14:02:29 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Firstly, a desire to look at unclad women being naughty is a part of the male psyche. It is a hard wired attribute and can hardly be classified as an addiction. Getting men to stop looking at other women is kind of like trying to get a dog to stop licking his balls. It just isn't going to happen.
Just don't forget:
1) He choose you.
2) You are the one he comes home to at night
3) It doesn't matter where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home for dinner.
2007-08-01 14:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Me being a guy who HAS changed his ways can say yes however it is truely up to the guy. He has to want it deep down. It won't work if he is just changing for you. In order for a person to change the desire has to come from within that person. Good luck to the both of you!
2007-08-01 14:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by coleb1106 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If people really want to change, change is possible. It all depends on their commitment to do so.I know this from personal experience. The person that I am now after becoming a Catholic is like night and day, compared to the person I use to be.
2007-08-01 14:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by WC 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, it's a good step on his way to "recovery" by being able to recognize his addiction. If it bothers you that he does such a thing, then remind him of your concern everytime you see him do it. It will eventually be implanted into his brain that it is not accepted by you. It's more of like a smoker's patch. Because he is addicted, he needs time to slowly phase out of it and you need to act like a patch but on his brain. Good luck.
2007-08-01 14:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by invisib0l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right to be skeptical. Don't confront him about it - just keep your eye on it, and in your gut you will know if he's just trying to hide it, or actually change. It's not that hard. If he's "addicted" he needs to see a specialist.
2007-08-01 14:01:34 · answer #10 · answered by sanguis 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think anything is possible, but people rarely change. When they do it's because they want it more than they want the thing they are addicted to. It will take lots of time and hard work. If he wants to change he's gonna have to control his thoughts and actions.
2007-08-01 14:02:45 · answer #11 · answered by LEMON the good life 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋