What do you do when you start to despair?

Question

Depression, various anxiety disorders and PTSD, 2 years in treatment, meds, yet sometimes i feel like it's getting me nowhere, and start to despair. I am a suicidal self harmer (mainly cutting) and have a 4 year old. I want to see him grow up and have his own kids, yet when i despair i resent him cause I have to live for him, if nothing else, does anyone else ever feel like that and if so what do you do to 'get over' it?

Answer 1

Helly,
u choose me as a fan, so please email me.
[e-mail]
or im me, mystic_gift

I would love to chat with u and give you encouragement, and support, something that's hard to do in yahoo answers.

you have PTSD, so do I.
I have flash backs, and at a certain age, 28 they were the worst, and i didn't think i could bear them.

I confronted everyone who knew anything about what happened to me when i was a child and had them tell me what they remembered.
and they said, i didn't remember at the age of 5-7 so they said let's never talk about it again to each other..

well the subcon. is very powerful .......it protects us from PTSD when we can't handle them.

your body and brain and mind must think (even tho you don't) that you are strong enough to have these memories now and deal with them, in real time.

I DO KNOW, that the FLASH BACKS, are real, like they are happening NOW!!!

i sleep with a night light, have a flash light *6 of them in my bed, under my pillow.

i also write down every single flash back, it was like watching a movie for me, one that i was in and couldn't stop.

YOU need to feel a sense of control.
So, write down these flash backs and all the memories who, what, when, where that you DO know happened.

write how it made you feel and what you wanted to say or would say today to that event or person.

I no longer have the flashbacks!!! they all came back, and i have most of the memories now, I didn't want any of them, the more i fought them the stronger the nightmares, and flashes.

it's very depressing, scarey and unkind and unfair to have to relive things over and over.

I decided to try everything.
Carolyn Myss tape/CD SPIRITUAL PRACTICE SPIRITUAL POWER
---the healing began
no amount of therapy did for me, what her am and pm meditaions did for me.
it's amazing and YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE
is one of her books.

you are special, something aweful happened to you, and it's controling you now,

WhAt can you controL???
1. going for a 10 minute walk
2. writing down how you wish this never happened '
3. writting down the things you wish you could change
4. support groups
5. one on one therapy
6. try that new therapy that starts with the letter E that other's mentioned.
7. ambein CR helps me sleep and contols nightmares, so does xanax.
8. we have control over how we choose to live in this day, when we didn't have control before, so take your power back!! the Carolyn Myss CD will teach you how.
9. Join a book club
10. find HEALTHY FRIENDS!

IM ME, OR EMAIL ME
[e-mail]

Answer 2

Yes, I have felt like this. First of all, it is good that you are on some kind of treatment. Depression is as much as a disease as anything else, and should be taken seriously!! I attempted suicide once, shortly after my daughter was born. Now she is 6 and I am so thankful that I lived to see her grow up. I plan on being around a long time for her!!! It sounds like you need an outlet for your feelings...one healthier than hurting yourself. I know sometimes it feels like it's useless, but I think in the longrun it's not. Also, when you start to despair, remember how much you love your child. The way I love my daughter - it's like a fierce, powerful love . Keep taht feeling with you....it may help you not resent him. I wish you the best of luck. God bless!

Answer 3

I think meditation can help a lot.

Sit quietly

Breathe in slowly as deeply as you can.

Breathe out slowly, try to completely empty your lungs

Try to think of something calm while you do this; a repeated word, or maybe try to picture something that reminds of being calm. If you are a religious person it is a good idea to use some sort of religious word or prayer. If you are not religious, you can think of whatever makes you think of being calm. Thoughts will come and go through your mind, just let them come and go, don't try to stop them or hang on to them.

Try to do that for at least five minutes a day.

Fifteen minutes is excellent.

If you can't do five minutes, do it for however long you can.

It's really very simple, but it can help.

Answer 4

I 've definitely been there. I've suffered from depression for most of my life and have been taking meds for 15 years. I've never felt as good as I do now. I think it's because I exercise regularly. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. If you body is working on all cylinders, it's easier to think more clearly and you just plain feel better than you do when you're inactive. I really suggest you give it try. It's been wonderful for me. Best of luck!

Answer 5

Helly,

My father is also going through what you are and I am so grateful that he stuck around and fought through it, he's slowly getting over it. Therapy really helps and if you're religious I suggest you pray to want to live. Your son will be so grateful when you're still there for his wedding. I was so glad my father was. Honestly, I don't think there is a real medical cure except for just fighting through it and living your life for someone else if not for you.

Answer 6

I have to say did you ever consider getting to know God - and I don't mean getting religious. You need to realize that He is real and is offering you salvation. And included in forgiving your sins through Jesus Christ he is the only one capable of healing your soul.

Answer 7

Hang in there Helly!!!

Answer 8

omg poor you, i felt very sorry for a moment. please see a terapist soon dear:( life is short!!!

if god closes a door
he opens a window